Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Smiling Bob - the Enzyte Guy

Down in Orlando on business but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging - so here's something i wrote back in March that still bothers me.

You can't watch a sporting event today without seeing Smiling Bob the Enzyte guy at least once. Here are some thoughts on ole Bob.

No product or commercial is more insulting to your intelligence than Enzyte’s series of Smiling Bob commercials.

If you had never seen an Enzyte commercial and you were shown a picture of Smiling Bob would you think:

A: The guy is smiling because he’s an utter moron
B: The guy is smiling because he’s convinced his penis is growing because of a pill he took
C: The guy is a moron for thinking his penis is growing because of a pill he took

Just ask yourself – what exactly is the natural way to male enhancement? Is taking a pill natural? If there were natural ingredients – wouldn’t men from the dawn of time been gobbling the substance by the handful?

In our ultra politically correct society – I’m surprised nobody has said anything about the Enzyte commercials. Talk about stereotypes.

In the commercial where Bob dives into the pool and loses his shorts – it is the black woman who is most impressed because – well you know – it’s black guys who normally have the biggest penises but the black woman never saw a penis as enhanced as Bob’s before.

How about the commercial of Smiling Bob in Japan where all of the Japanese men are intimidated by “the big wood”? The stereotype is that Japanese men all have small penises (although come to think of it – you never do see any Japanese porn stars).

And now we have Enzyte NASCAR commercials because – you know – NASCAR fans are just stupid enough to buy “male enhancement” products. Isn’t that the stereotype?

What is funniest about the Enzyte commercials is the offer of a 30-day sample pack. So let me get this straight – a guy is going to measure himself (think of the opening scene from Porky’s) – then take the Enzyte 30-day sample pack and then remeasure himself to see the “enhancement”? Doesn’t it sound more like a SNL skit than a real product?

Now I read where Enzyte is being sued by a man who did not experience any “enhancement” and wants his money back. Is it just me or does this have all the makings of a Jerry Springer show?

Oh and while I’m being so critical – the woman who play’s Smiling Bob’s wife is ugly

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