Yankees Suck - Reason # 240

I took last night's loss by the Yankees personally. And that's funny coming from a life-long Red Sox fan. Let me explain.

I play on-line poker and Wednesday night I did OK. So on Thursday I was looking to "re-invest" some of the winnings in a little baseball action. I looked over the lines but nothing really jumped out at me as a good value. I felt certain that both the Red Sox and Yankees would win though.

The Red Sox had just been thumped the night before and they usually bounce back after bad outings like that. Plus Matt Clement was pitching against a no-name rookie. In my mind there was no doubt the Red Sox were going to win that game but the line was Red Sox -$155 (meaning you would have to risk $155 to win $100).

I was even more certain the Yankees were going to win. They had just dropped two to Kansas City, Pavano was pitching against a journeyman with a career ERA around 5.00 and Joe Torre had blasted the team the night before in a closed door players-only meeting for their poor performance. There was no way the Yankees were going to lose 3 in a row to the Royals. There was no way they weren't going to respond to Torre's tongue lashing. No way they lose!

The bookies must have agreed because the line on the Yankees was -$280.

That was just too high a price to pay. I mean even the worst teams tend to hover around .500 at home. Risk $280 to win $100? That's not a good value.

I saw that Pedro Martinez and Johan Santana were pitching that day too and I decided what I was going to do. I decided to take the Red Sox straight up for $100 and parlay the Sox (with Clement), the Twins (with Santana), the Mets (with Martinez) and the Yankees (with Pavano). I bet $40 on the parlay which would have paid me $240 if all four teams won. "Not a bad bet" I thought considering the pitchers I had going for me.

The Sox won in the 9th on David Ortiz' walk-off home run. The Twins won in 13 innings. I was most worried about the Mets because even if Pedro pitched a gem - his bullpen was just as likely to blow it. When the Mets won 6-1 - I thought I was home free. No way the Yankees lose another game to the Royals. I was already spending the money in my mind.

When I saw the 5-2 final - I didn't know if I was a mouse or a man but I did know that my plan had gone astray. Royals 5, Yankees 2. When I saw the score I couldn't help myself. Out loud I said in a voice that was well short of a shout but filled with venom nonetheless, "Yankees suck!" My wife (who didn't know about the parlay) looked at me and simply nodded her head as if to affirm that "Yes dear - the Yankees do suck."