Thursday, September 08, 2005

NFL Opening Night

Long day today and I thought I'd top it off by having a couple of beers and watching the Patriots vs. Raiders opening night. Since I've nothing better to do - I thought I'd live blog it.

I turned on the TV just as Santana was being introduced. I love Santana but I have to ask - when did John Valentin start touring with him as the lead singer?

I had no idea who the girl who came on after Santana was but it looked to me like Santana kept playing on as if to say "hey my song's not over"

Robert Kraft - I feel bad for him because on TV he always comes off as a drunk just on the edge of becoming belligerent. He is THE best owner in all of sports though (so that makes him our drunk on the edge of becoming belligerent).

Is Ozzie Ozborne made of wax? Seriously? Was that really him or did they put a black wig on Joan Rivers?

8:56 - OK I'll say it! Trisha Yearwood's got a big ole butt! She did alright with the anthem but I would have went with Donna Summer - she rocked singing the anthem at the World Series last year

For the record - tonight I liked the Patriots (-7.5) and the under (49). Notice I said "liked" not "loved". Who really knows whats going to happen tonight?

9:12 - Well that didn't take long. 7-0 Raiders.

One more thought on the pre-game music. I think I speak for all football fans when I say enough with the pre-game crap. I also think that I speak for at least 90% of Patriot fans when I say if you are going to have an "opening act" - get either AC/DC or U2.

9:22 - Adam Vinatieri makes it 7-3 Oakland.

Alright - if you played a drinking game where you had to guzzle every time ABC aired either a GMC truck commercial or a Commander In Chief promo - you'd have alcohol poisoning by the 3rd quarter. Speaking of alcohol - excuse me while I run to the fridge.

9:34 - How many fantasy football team owners immediately checked to see if NE TE Ben Watson was still available in their league?

9:39 - Three Patriots penalties in the first quarter (2 defense / 1 offense). Belichick can't be happy with that.

9:42 - Deion Branch with the TD catch. 10-7 Patriots. I say that Branch will finish the season with more TD's and yards than either Randy Moss or Terrell Owens.

9:50 - If anyone cares - the Red Sox are losing 3-0 but have the bases loaded with 1 out in the 8th. Meanwhile the Patriots get their 4th penalty. Yuck! The Yankees are losing 6-4 to the Devil Rays in the 9th. Yeah! The Yankees won't make the playoffs this year and it will be because they couldn't beat Tampa Bay. How cool is that?

10:04 Randy Moss catches a 73 yard TD catch (really a 40-yard pass and 33-yard run) to make it 14-10 Raiders. I may want to rethink my Deion Branch prediction.

10:08 - John Madden wants someone to explain to him how the Vikings will be better this year without Randy Moss. Here you go John. Any questions?

10:14 - Tim Dwight with a TD catch to make it 17-14 Patriots. Dwight was my sleeper fantasy football pick this year. Speaking of Tim's - my buddy Tim is at the game with his brother Brian tonight (I waited till I mentioned a Tim to bring this up but I just as easily could have mentioned this back when I brought up alcohol poisoning).

10:18 - The Pats now have 6 first half penalties. WTF?

10:39 - If I enter a "Dead Pool" this year - I think I'm going to enter Tim McGraw's name just because of that lame half-time song. Man that was weak. Speaing of Dead Pools - is Charlton Heston still alive? I like Chuck but he is getting up there. My third pick would be Robert Byrd just because he's a prick and I want him to die.

10:43 - When did Jimmy Kimmel turn gay? Did I miss the memo? An anti-fantasy football bit - WTF? Does anyone need any further proof that his girlfiend Alicia Silverstone has full custody of his balls?

10:57 - I wonder if Vladimir Putin is watching this game in Russia. I picture him sipping vodka, watching the game on a big screen TV while twisting Robert Kraft's Super Bowl ring on his finger thinking "sucker!"

11:06 - OK I'll say it! Seperated at birth - Warren Sapp and a tub of lard.

11:17 - Corey Dillion with the TD after a Raider turnover. I hate to say it but that blocked extra point may come up big in my taking the under. 23-14 Patriots.

11:19 - Rodney Harrison clotheslines the return man and I immediately hear Jaws from The Longest Yard saying in my head "I think I broke his freakin' neck."

11:33 - Two quick Patriots observations. 1. Many people overlook the tremendous upgrade Josh Miller was at punter was when he took over for the awful Ken Walter after the 2003 season. 2. I think it would be great if during some blow-out this year - Belichick sends Dan Klecko out to return punts.

11:57 - Corey Dillion scores a TD after a big pass interference. 30-14 Patriots. Two things - man that Burger King commercial was funny! I did not see that coming at all. Secondly - please God no more scoring in this game. Please? Pretty please? Its only 9 more minutes.

12:05 - You know one of the impressive things about the Patriots is how they just do the things that allow them to win. They have no concern for stats whatsoever. For instance- the Raiders almost match the Patriots in first downs (16-17) but the Patriots are up by 16 points.

12:24 - Now I hear Dathan from The Ten Commandments saying "where's your God now?" Raiders score a TD and the score is now 30-20 and the under is blown. Goddamnit!

12:33 - BTW - the over/under for this game opened at 50 points. Boy the guys who set the lines are good. Good night all.

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