Captain Quint on this Weekend's NFL Games



ALR: As a special treat - today A Large Regular got to speak with the legendary Captain Quint about this weekend's NFL games. Thank you for joining us Captain Quint - do you have a favorite team that you're rooting for?

Quint: Y'all know me. Know where I earn a livin'. I'm a New England man. I think they'll win it all, but it ain't gonna be easy. Tough teams. Not like playing the AFC East. These remaining teams can swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. So New England's gotta strike hard and fast especially since we'll be playin' on the road.

ALR: What do you think of coach Belichick?

Quint: The thing about Belichick is he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When him and his team comes at you they don't seem to be human... until he beats you, and those black eyes roll over white. I've seen that happen on the sideline. Sometimes its the only emotion that seems to come out of him.

ALR: Anything you want to say about the Jaguars?

Quint: [singing] Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies / Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain. / For we received orders for to sail back to Boston / And soon never more will we see you again. Heh heh [Quint reaches over and punches me in the arm - it hurts].

ALR: Did you see the Tampa Bay game?

Quint: That game sucked. The Redskin's offense was as useful as a camel on an oceanliner. I can't believe they won.

ALR: How about the Giants game? What do you think about these Manning kids?

Quint: I'll tell you what I think about those Manning kids - they got city boy hands, those Manning kids. They be countin' money all their life. I knew Carolina was gonna beat dem Giants and I'm glad they did it. I think everyone was sick about the talk about Peyton meeting little brother Eli in the Super Bowl.

ALR: How about the Steelers game? Did you see that hit on Carson Palmer?

Quint: That was a tough break for the Bengals. I wrecked my knee like that one time. I was Indian leg wrestling this big Russian guy in a bar in Singapore when snap - there went my ACL. Its tough to recover your mobility from a hit like that. Just look at the Patriots game. Did you see Leftwich trying to get away from the Patriots rush? I tell ya - I'll never put on a knee brace again.

ALR: What about Ben Roethlisberger? What did you think about him?

Quint: He's a big fella. Take two, three barrels to take him down.

ALR: Captain Quint thank you so much for joining us this morning. Anything you want to say to the readers here?

Quint: Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.