I don't write these types of letters in general but I have something to ask of you and frankly I think I deserve to be heard.
I am your target demographic. I'm male, a sports nut and I make a pretty good living (your advertisers should love me). I am a devoted ESPN watcher. I haven't complained when you week after week forced upon the viewing public the brain dead ramblings of Joe Morgan or John Kruk during baseball broadcasts or on Baseball Tonight. I've defended Chris Berman even though he's become the Bozo the Clown of NFL analysis. I was disgusted yet silent when you foisted screaming Stephen A. Smith upon the viewing public. For the most part I've remained silent and loyal in my viewing habits.
But now I want something. I want you to force Stu Scott to wear a monocle.
I know it may sound strange but that's what I want.
Stu Scott is an embarrassment as sports reporter and now I'll be forced to endure large doses of his inflated ego because I'll be sure to watch every moment of the NBA Finals. I don't ask much and I don't ask often - I want you to make Stu Scott wear a monocle.
Most ESPN fans know that Stu Scott has a glass eye. For some reason it bothers me when I see him on-air wearing glasses. Only one of his eyes needs a corrective lens. A monocle would do several things; provide that corrective lens for the eye that needs it, let us the viewer know for certain which eye is the real one and maybe most importantly - humble Stu Scott. Perhaps looking like Colonel Klink on air will help keep Stu Scott from letting his mouth and ego run amok. I really want this.
I want you to force Stu Scott to wear a monocle.
Thanks for your time and consideration.
EDIT: I wrote this two years ago but I still feel the same way. Please ESPN - make it happen