Thursday, March 31, 2011

NCAA Greed

The Ivy Leagues don't give out scholarships they do needs based financial aid instead. Of course the "needs" of a promising athlete usually equate to a full boat scholarship. Having said that - since the athletes do not get scholarships do they still have to fill out those NCAA forms that sign away their rights to their image and such?

I think we all know the answer to that one. But doesn't the way the Ivy Leagues do "business" bely the NCAA argument?
Top 5 - Christopher Walken Movies

Happy 68th birthday to Christopher Walken. My favorite Walken movies:

1. The Dead Zone
2. Pulp Fiction
3. Suicide Kings
4. Biloxi Blues
5. (tie) The Deer Hunter (tie) King of New York

His role in the 2002 Man on Fire almost makes the list just for the fact that the last thing he says in the movie is "I have nothing else to say." He meant that he had no more lines in the script but the director left it in the final cut.
Opening Day - Red Sox Magic Number 163

Yay Opening Day! I will gorge myself on baseball today. Either ESPN or the MLB Network will be on in my office all freaking day baby! I may even go out for a cigar and a few beers later if I'm productive and need to reward myself.

The Red Sox don't play today but like every other team on Opening Day their Magic Number is 163. Unlike a team like the Pirates, however, it may not be too early to start keeping track of the Magic Number for the Red Sox (Pirate fans on the other hand can start tracking who they think Pittsburgh should take with the first pick in the draft).

In baseball when you mention the number 163 some people think of Lou Gehrig's career 163 triples or Cowboy-up Kevin Millar's career 163 home runs. Me? When I associate baseball and the number 163 - I always think of the fact that in 1978 Jim Rice played in all 163 games for the Red Sox (the regular 162 games plus the Bucky "F-ing" Dent game with the Yankees).

Happy Opening Day everybody!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- Jon Stewart: Not a fan of President Obama’s not war speech. It seems to me that the speech on Libya can simply be summarized as "Obama vult" (Obama wills it!)

- I can't believe this is a real movie. Strangely mesmerizing.

- PBS's Frontline piece on the NCAA. First Tunisia, then Egypt, now Libya and the NCAA is next! Freedom is on the march!

- Excellent news - FX picks up Justified for third season

- Autistic boy, 12, with higher IQ than Einstein develops his own theory of relativity

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

The things you learn on the Internet - Joss Whedon wrote the screenplay for the first Toy Story. Well that's partially correct - four people got credit for the story and four people (including Whedon) got credit for the screenplay... I'm linking to this because it contains the words "enormous vagina dug out of sand on Coney Island"... Make no mistake - Florida choked yesterday. They had much more raw talent than Butler but they choked... Chipper Jones needs just 1 run scored for 1506 in his career which would tie Mike Schmidt for 68th place all-time. There's no doubt in my mind that Chipper Jones is a Hall of Fame player.. According to - the most similar batter by age to Jose Bautista is Mack Jones who last played in 1971 and who never made an all-star team. If Bautista does hit more than 35 HR this season - boy will those 54 HR from last season stick out like a sore thumb... The things you learn on the Internet (Part II) - "A May 1967 Gallup Poll found almost twice as many Americans supported nuking North Vietnam as supported withdrawal"... Jeff Ross certainly looked like an autotonsorialist in that Trump Roast... I've said it before but CBS is missing a huge opportunity if they don't replace Katie Couric with Strong Bad... I don't think Raylan Givens has shot and killed a single person in this season of Justified - you know that will change soon... The things you learn on the Internet (Part III) - "Last year, the US Mint reported a loss of $42.6 million on the production of pennies and nickels"... Speaking of Justified - I believe you have my stapler

Friday, March 25, 2011

Penis Size and Economic Aid

I was politically disposed to helping our neighbors to the north and south - Canada and Mexico with relaxed immigration rules, financial aid - whatever. My sentiments changed 100% when I saw this map of average penis size which says that both Canadians and Mexicans have larger penis sizes than Americans. Screw them. I say keep them and their large penises on their own side of the border.

I would also suggest that the State Department should henceforth only give aid to countries in red. Those poor bastards and their small penises.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Funny Norm McDonald Interview

Norm really brings the funny. I keep waiting to see this type of humor on High Stakes Poker.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

It made the news recently that there was an app that supposedly helped homosexuals pray away the gay. Some people have now noticed that the app store no longer has that app and I just wanted people to know that the gay conversion thru prayer app wasn't yanked - I prayed it away!... Dude puts on scuba gear, jumps into TSUNAMI, dodges debris, finds his house and his wife and saves her. For his next trick he will kick Chuck Norris' ass with one-hand tied behind his back... My new "10 Inch Penis through Prayer" App is going to make me rich!... Charlie Brooker on the Media's Japan coverage. I haven't seen this Charlie Brooker before but he seems pretty funny... "'When I use a word,' Barack Obama said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less." The quote is actually from Humpty Dumpty but you easily could see Barack saying it - couldn't you?... I've been thinking about this shot a lot lately. 30th anniversary of most famous shot in BYU history: Ainge's end-to-end dash... Even Lefties like Sam Simon are abandoning Barack Obama over Libya. This was a Tweet from Simon the other day:
The only thing I can think of that explains what Obama's doing in Libya: Gadhafi has his real birth certificate.
Saddam had Baghdad Bob - does Qaddafi have a Tripoli Timmy?... The damning contradictions of Obama's attack on Libya... Semi-kidding but is it too early to call American involvement in Libya a quagmire? The press didn't wait this long to declare Iraq a quagmire... Very cool - skiing with a jetpack... In 1981 BYU makes it to the Sweet 16 while the best Notre Dame basketball team in ages gets upset in 2nd round. That same week REO Speedwagon hits #1 with its hit Keep on Loving You. Now 30 years later BYU is back in the Sweet 16, Notre Dame has its best team in 30-years beaten in the 2nd round and Rebecca Black comes out with a song that is as bad and as popular as Keep on Loving You... Cool - Ballhawks: The Obsession of Catching a Home Run Ball Outside Wrigley. Narrated by Bill Murray.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Appalachian Trail in 5 Minutes

Very cool video.

I've always wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail. I wish I had the time and money to make that possible
The Barry Bonds Trial

Joe Posnanski has a good piece on his feelings regarding the Barry Bonds trial.

Like Joe, I am also numb to it by now but unlike Joe I want this to be a circus and while Joe doesn't want either side to win - I want both sides to lose. I also disagree with Joe about this:
I often compared him [Barry Bonds] in his younger days to Ted Williams, who was also a genius of a hitter and also widely despised.
Ted Williams was despised by who? Not his teammates. His friendships with teammates was so strong it was immortalized by David Halberstam. The average fan? Kids with cancer who were being helped by the Jimmy Fund? Men who wore the uniform of the US Marine Corps like Williams? Or is Posnanski talking about those paragons of virtue the sportwiters?
Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- The karate outfit

- Interesting - Space Debris chart

- Incredibly, this headline is not a joke

- Very cool Penn & Teller clip

- It was an unfortunate accident

- Interesting - Yankee Stadium parking woes

- God's Wife

- Even the Yakuza are helping out in the quake aftermath.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Boom Like That

I had McDonald's for breakfast and it put me in the mood for this song - the best fast food history song every written.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

The NFLPA wants top draft picks to boycott the NFL draft in New York City but did they invite them to Marco Island for their recent meeting? My guess is no. They are asking these kids to give up one of the biggest nights in their lives and then will stick them with a rookie pay scale but the NFLPA is not interested in hearing their opinions... "The 12 States of America." Interesting interactive look at income demographics. Kind of tough to tell difference between Mormon Outposts and Military Bastions... There are rumors that John Kerry may be chosen to replace Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State if she steps down. Remember that Kerry called some of our closest allies the "coalition of the coerced and the bribed"? He's a dunce who would do nothing but harm the US in the eyes of the world... Players chip in to save coach’s life after Clippers decline medical coverage... I wonder if the official NFL store would let me make a Vikings number 28 jersey with the name "SLAVE" on the back?... Guantanamo Bay gets 2 and a half stars... The phrase "Get Bent" is supposedly short for "You should get bent over so someone can sodomize you on Christmas". I find the longer version much funnier than the abbreviated one... Chevy Chase's real first name is Cornelius. Who knew?...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Saint Patrick's Day

Some facts you may not have known about St. Patrick:

St. Patrick was not Irish. He was a British Celt, first enslaved in Ireland as a teen. He was later a missionary to Ireland after converting to Christianity. He was not an Italian but was a Roman citizen. So technically the most Irish of holidays is named after an English guy (oh the irony).

St. Patrick was also not necessarily the first Christian missionary to Ireland.

No one knows the day Patrick was born or the day that he died. March 17th is traditionally considered to be one of the two but there is no documentation to support this.

The only documents about Patrick are his Confession and a letter he wrote to some guy named Coroticus.

There were never any snakes or other reptiles in Ireland for Patrick to chase out. That's a myth.

Patrick predates the Roman Catholic Church, and was considered a "saint" (or holy man) before the Roman church created its canon (list) of saints. They then added him to it.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Adrian Peterson and Slavery

When I heard Adian Peterson talk about slavery all I could think of was the above commercial. Do you think he paid his Viking assistant? Look at the way he treats the poor guy - the disdain. Adrian Peterson was basically a slave owner in that commercial.

BTW - Adrian Peterson is a moron.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- Geography Quiz! Where Is That NCAA Tournament-Bound School? I got 8 out of 11.

- Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's Star Wars

- Interesting ad for a wetsuit

- Very interesting technology - The Junkyard Jumbotron

- Middle-earth according to Mordor

- The perfect cup of coffee

- The Funniest Album Covers

- Heh Heh
NFLPA Wants Draft Boycott

NFLPA wants draft boycott. This is crap and I'll tell you why.

On the one hand the NFLPA wants the young players to give up the experience of getting drafted, walking up on the stage, shaking hands with the commissioner and getting interviewed live on ESPN or the NFL Network but on the other hand they are using a rookie wage scale as one of their bargaining chips. It will be the rookies who bear the brunt of whatever deal is eventually cut with the NFL. In essence by asking then to boycott the draft the NFLPA is trying to screw these rookies coming and going.

That's crap.

I haven't seen the above point made anywhere else so I figured I'd throw it out there.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

On the bright side of the NFL lockout - this could be record Fall for apple orchard owners as men no longer have an excuse not to apple pick on Sundays... The rug really ties the whole picture together... During his speech at 1964 Democtratic National Convention - LBJ never once mentioned Vietnam... People love Christopher Walken for the More Cowbell sketch but the Colonel Angus skit makes me laugh just thinking about it... I'll steal the joke - Do you think the Players will hire the law firm of BenJarvus Green & Ellis for their antitrust suit?... Involuntary Collaborations - very cool... With the Red Sox ownership also owning Liverpool and the New England Patriots owners also owning the New England Revolution - I wonder if Liverpool and the New England Revolution ever have a home and home at Fenway and Foxboro?... Of the Congressmen to vote against the 1964 Civil Rights Act - 74% were Democrats... Just awesome... Did you know that Georgetown's blue and gray colors were chosen in 1876 to support “unity between the Northern and Southern boys of the College”... I was never bothered by the picture of Donald Rumsfeld shaking hands with Saddam Hussein. If he shook hands with Dan Shaughnessey then that's another story... Both retired 4-years ago - I think Bernie Williams has a better chance of returning to baseball than Tiki Barber has returning to football

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Los Angeles Angels Notes

The Angels will pay $11 million to Gary Matthews Jr. this season even though he's not playing for them

The Blue Jays flipped Mike Napoli to the Rangers for Frank Francisco. Who would you rather have as your closer? Frank Francisco or Fernando Rodney? I really wouldn't want either but for now the it looks like the Angels are stuck with Rodney.

For what its worth - lists Andre Dawson as the most similar batter through age 31 season to Vernon Wells. In his age 32 season Dawson left his Canadian team (the Expos) and exploded for his new team hitting 49 HR with 137 RBI (both led the league) for the Cubs. Could Wells have a similar rebirth with the Angels? Winning an MVP like Dawson may be asking too much for Wells but I do think Wells could be a sleeper.

Also for what its worth - lists Dontrelle Willis as the most similar pitcher to Scott Kazmir. That's not a good thing.

Unless he has a monster season I'm guessing the Angels won't pick up Kazmir's $13.5 million option for 2012. Combine that money saved with the $11 million coming off the books for Gary Matthews Jr. and it looks like the Angels will be active in the free agent market come wintertime. Prince Fielder? Heath Bell? Jonathan Papelbon?

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

The Michael Smith podcast may be the best one Bill Simmons has ever done. MUST listening for Celtics or NBA fans. Great insight into the league and the tail-end of the original Big 3 era in Boston... Sam Simon makes a good point - as out of control as Charlie Sheen has been as an actor he still will never top the antics of John Wilkes Booth... I wonder if Tim McCarver's two-year extension is just a holding pattern for FOX waiting for Derek Jeter to retire?... Phil Collins retired because Cincinnati would not trade his concert dates to a more competitive city... Heh heh - speaking of Bill Simmons... Never noticed this before but Ray McKinnon who was Reverend Smith in Deadwood also plays Coach Cotton in The Blind Side... According Yahoo! Sports Jim Tressel knew of Pryor's memorabilia sale in April 2010, which would be a possible major NCAA violation. As an aside - I can't help but wonder just for perspective what were the costs of the Federal, Ohio St and NCAA investigations vs the total amount of the $7,500 players received for selling some of the things they owned. The NCAA makes these bizarre scenarios possible through their rules. How strange will it be if a Championship winning coach is fired because of a tattoo artist?... I get sick of people who mention that David Duke ran for office as a Republican. How come they never mention that Fred Phelps (the Westboro Baptist Church uber douchebag) ran for office as a Democrat?... The TV ads for Bob Seger's Boston appearance show clips of him from the 80's and 90's ignoring fact that he now looks like a modern Burl Ives... Call me immature but every time I see "Jeter in the 2-hole" I have to laugh...

Sunday, March 06, 2011

The Heaven Can Wait Solution to NFL Labor Impasse

Probably the biggest issue dividing the NFL owners and the NFLPA is the owners wanting to take roughly $1 billion off the top of the $9 billion in total revenues before beginning revenue sharing. This money supposedly would be used for stadium building, stadium renovation and debt servicing. The seeds to the solution to the biggest issue in the current NFL labor CBA impasse can be found in the 1978 Warren Beatty movie Heaven Can Wait.

According to IMDB:
Joe Pendleton is a quarterback preparing to lead his team to the superbowl when he is almost killed in an accident. An overanxious angel plucks him to heaven only to discover that he wasn't ready to die, and that his body has been cremated. A new body must be found, and that of a recently murdered millionaire is chosen. His wife and accountant, the murderers, are confused by this development, as he buys the L.A. Rams in order to once again quarterback them into the Superbowl.
Do you see? Instead of playing starting quaterback - the owners can just pay themselves as if they were the star player. The owners don't have to almost die and come back to add themselves to the roster. They can do that today and they can pay themselves whatever they want. My plan - the Max Corkle Plan - would solve the labor impasse in the following way:

1. The owners take the average of the top 3 paid players - multiply that by the number of NFL teams and that is the number the owners can take off the top before revenue sharing begins. Say the average number of the top 3 salaries is $25 million - that means $800 million can be taken off the top (and that money will close in on $1 billion quickly as the top salaries increase). If the players don't agree to this then the owners simply add themselves to the roster and pay themselves the $25 million or whatever anyway. This takes up a roster spot though - so the NFLPA has incentive to approve the Max Corkle Plan.

2. In exchange for the Max Corkle Plan the NFLPA gets to have a top accounting firm review the books of each team so that the real revenue sharing numbers are known. The accounting firm would keep private everything except the gross revenue numbers. This way the NFLPA gets the real numbers and the owners get to keep their books private.

3. In exchange for the owners letting go of the naked greed of an 18 game schedule - the players agree to give up 3% of the revenue share on their end. This 3% would equal north of $24 million and that money would be used for health insurance and benefits for retired players.

4. The NFLPA get this 3% back by instituting a rookie salary scale. The only ones who get their piece of the pie cut are rookies who haven't proven anything in the NFL. Everybody wins (except the rookies).

A simple 4-step plan inspired by the movie Heaven Can Wait.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Chalkdust Torture

Just had to hear this Phish song tonight
Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Ted Gundy is now my favorite sniper. Seriously cool. Good for him... Someone should redo the Rolling Stones classic Sympathy for the Devil with new lyrics making it Sympathy for Charlie... I may have missed it but have the Wisconsin union protesters or the missing State Senators offered any solutions of their own to the Wisconsin debt problem? Or are they just for the status quo? Unbelievable... RIP, Henry Africa, creator of the 1st fern bar. Very cool story. He also had a bar named after Eddie Rickenbacker - very cool indeed... Another good song remake for Charlie Sheen would be Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love which easily could be changed Addicted to Charlie. Bonus is you could have the "goddesses" in the background just like the original music video... The Joe Posnanski story on the dying Nick Charles is must reading. Very sad but it seems like Nick Charles has led a very full life... Charlie was the beloved unicorn who went to candy mountain and got his kidney stolen. That's not winning... The Minty Goodness of the Shamrock Shake is back! Yay green poop!... Does Charlie surf? I was told he does not... Jimmy Fallon's Charlie Sheen is truly great. Funny but I can't remember Fallon doing any impressions on SNL but his Neil Young and now Charlie Sheen impressions have been spot on...

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Kevin Millwood and Scott Boras

So today Mark Teixeira dropped Scott Boras as his agent. Big deal. Teixeira got his big pay day and doesn't really need to worry about anything until after the 2016 season when Teixeira may even decide to call it quits. Kevin Millwood meanwhile sits at home unemployed because Scott Boras can't seem to find him a major league job.

Even Javy Vazquez who will be 35 and last year posted a miserable 5.32 ERA for the Yankees got a job paying him $7 million this season pitching for the Marlins. Millwood will be 36 this season and posted a 5.10 ERA (nothing to brag about certainly) against the same competition Vazquez faced (even better competition actually when you consider Millwood had to pitch against the Yankees while Vazquez did not).

Millwood has been an innings eater and there are usually jobs for pitchers who can normally be penciled in for 190 innings. No job for Millwood though. Is Boras to blame? I know I praised Boras for getting that big contract for Millwood with Texas back in 2006 but now I think that overall Millwood has been ill-served by Boras.

I say this for three main reasons:

1. Boras really screwed Millwood with his phantom 4-year offer from mystery teams after the 2003 season which left Millwood with a 1-year deal with the Phillies as his only option.
2. Millwood has made about $89 million over 14 seasons while Vazquez (a similar pitcher) has made over $92 in 13 seasons (plus another $7 million this year). Could a replacement level agent have made Millwood more money in his career?
3. Vazquez has a job and Millwood does not.

Maybe Kevin Millwood should fire Boras and hire the folks who represent Javier Vazquez? Maybe he should have done that a long time ago.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

If I ran Single A or below baseball team I'd invite Charlie Sheen to play in a Press Release. I'd ask him to bring his winning. Seriously I'd invite Charlie Sheen to play any position he wants. The number of outlets reporting on it alone would make it a "winning" proposition. Free advertising for the team and an outside shot he's crazy enough to take up the offer... Victor Davis Hanson on Donald Rumsfeld - double win... How screwed up would it be if Zack Greinke became of charter member of Charlie Sheen's cult?... Charlie Sheen quotes as New Yorker cartoons... Now when I see the question "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" I really expect the answer to be Charlie Sheen... Very cool! New Jersey Congressman Beats IBM’s Watson... If I was at all musical I would start a Bruce Springsteen cover band with an Elvis impersonator as the frontman singing the Springsteen songs in an Elvis voice. I'd call it Boss Elvis. I think that would be awesome... God forgive me but I laughed my ass off at this... Some sites have this "Space Ball" banner ad - the noise on those ads is the most annoying thing in the history of the Internet. I wish I knew what product those ads are for just so I could avoid buying that product for the rest of my life... Very cool! Band of Brothers cast to jump out of planes in aid of Normandy memorial. I just knew that Dale Dye would be one of the parachuters... I agree with this legislation 100% - NH Bill Would Make Some T&A Screening Sexual Assault...
Rocky Road to Dublin

Just had to hear this song today