Sunday, July 29, 2018

Public Service Announcement

I read a study once where the experts explained that putting ice cubes up the rectums of unconscious people has no physiological benefit and can even lead to seizures and stroke. Of course I laughed at such a silly study. And the more I thought about it – I funnier I thought it was.

After thinking about it for a while I came to the unmistakable conclusion that men were completely responsible for such a thing. In order for the study to be done in the first place people must have been putting ice cube up the butts of unconscious people. Who would do such a thing? Men! A woman would never see an unconscious person and think – “Instead of calling an ambulance for help I think I will jam a large ice cube up the ass to see if that wakes the person up.” Say that to a guy and the chances are his response would be, “What the heck – give it a shot.”

And who would design and OK the spending for such a dumb study? Men! Do you think they told the test subjects what the study was all about? “OK we are going to knock you unconscious and then place ice cubes of different sizes up your rectum.” How would you like to be the test subject that ended up having a stroke because you needed the $50 the experiment paid? 

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:21 AM

    Not up but on the anus (groin are in general): one area that has near-surface access to blood vessels (along with armpits) where one might help cool someone suffering from heat stroke.

    Heat stroke first aid:
    "Apply ice packs to the patient's armpits, groin, neck, and back. Because these areas are rich with blood vessels close to the skin, cooling them may reduce body temperature."

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  2. You must be a barrel of laughs at a party

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