The Raymond Chandler Papers

Raymond Chandler with a tongue-in-cheek look at the rules for marriage from a 1955 letter:

1. Ride her on a short rein and never let her think she is riding you.
2. If the coffee is lousy, don't say so. Just throw it on floor.
3. Don't let her change the arrangement of the furniture more than once a year.
4. Don't have any joint bank account unless she puts in the money.
5. In case of quarrel, remember that it is always your fault.
6. Keep her away from antique stores.
7. Never praise her girlfriends too much.
8. Above all never forget that a marriage is in one way much like a newspaper. It has to be made fresh every damn day of every damn year.

For evidence he was joking keep in mind he was married, "for thirty years, then months, and two days, she [his wife] was the light of my life my whole ambition. Anything else I did was just the fire for her to warm her hands on." He married once and was faithful till the day she died and never married again.