Jokes from the Past Week in News

Have to look at the humorous side of the news - else you might go crazy.

• Think an image of Donald Trump as Jesus Christ with his arms outstretched and a halo around his head could be the new Pepe the frog. People on the right could nod approvingly and say, "See that's what I'm talking about." People on the left could look at it and disgustedly say the same thing
• People upset that Tim Cook seems to have rolled over for Donald Trump should remember that Cook was also ultimately responsible for approving that bizarre iPhone cat lady ad. Who was that ad supposed to appeal to?
• Think a good idea for a video series would be to get the rights to all of the old In Search Of shows and to intersperse updated new information disproving most of what was being presented. You could call it In Search Of (Updated).
• Part of me wishes Micah Parsons or Trey Hendrickson files their retirement papers and says they will come out of retirement only if either the Cowboys or Bengals trade them to teams without dysfunctional owners
• If you lived in Alaska wouldn't you be in favor of global warming? Just saying.
• Think the current political situation can be summed up as the Democrats sticking with the phrase "stuck on stupid" while Donald Trump and the Republicans are in full FAFO mode
• In the not too distance future think people looking to move states will first asks, "How are the schools around here?" quickly followed by "Does your state have a DOGE/FAFO board?"
• Gentil reminder that some of the Democrats about to be investigated have no moral qualms with having people murdered. Just saying.
• When Elizabeth Warren says the people she knows want radical leftists running the country, I really hope she calls these people her tribe
• Nothing makes you feel older than realizing you are actually older than the Corporation for Public Broadcasting which was "born" in 1967 and is now appearing in the obituaries
• Learn something new every day: the movie The Big Lebowski was loosely based on the writings of Raymond Chandler. Never noticed that before or that Chandler had a rug that really tied things together.
• Any company that makes big green dildos is missing a huge opportunity if they immediately don't brand themselves as "the official dildo of the WNBA"

Jokes from the past week's news offerings. At least they were funny to me.