Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Waffle House and the Eclipse


Everyone wants to get in on the Eclipse business. Above is a map of the best places to watch the eclipse while eating at a Waffle House. Because - you know - people were clamoring for that information.

The last time I ate at a Waffle House was in Nashville (one of the yellow dots on the map). The waitress took our order and a few minutes later, unbeknownst to us, quit her job mid shift. It was about 20-minutes before anyone came to our table to check on us and ask us again for our order since it was never put in by the now former employee. After we ate the manager, prince of a man, offered us a 10% discount on our meals for our trouble. Did I mention it was the last time I ate at a Waffle House?

In other news, my daughter is going to Nashville to view the eclipse. I think I raised her well enough that I don't have to advise her to view the eclipse from somewhere better than a Waffle House.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Has to be asked - how long before we see one of those Hitler in the bunker videos about Charlottesville?... Heh heh... Had my first Pumpkin Spice beer over the weekend. I know it's still summer and not close to fall yet but I couldn't resist... The word "overmorrow" means the day after tomorrow. What a great word! How come we never use the word overmorrow?... Heh heh... Lobster Cooch would be a good name for a B-52's cover band or a hipster seafood dish... Just a reminder - Dr. Jane Goodall believes in Bigfoot... If they do a Batman re-boot - I hope they cast Christian Bale as a villain. How cool and meta trippy would that be?... Meanwhile the Washington Post is destroying their credibility in sports too... Strip Club Chowder would be a good name for a band (or a porn movie)... Still disappointed that when Burger King and Tim Horton's merged they didn't change the name of all the franchises to Burger Horton's...

Just Like the Jesuits

Every once and a while I get these urges to say certain things just to give myself a chuckle. The latest urge is to randomly say the phrase "Just like the Jesuits" after someone else has said something. For example:

Barack Obama: "It's not surprising, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them"  
Me: (Thrusting my finger in the air for emphasis) "Just like the Jesuits!"

Random guy at McDonald's: "I much prefer the sausage McMuffin over the regular McMuffin."
Me: (Nodding my head in agreement) "Just like the Jesuits."

Anyone hearing the comment will have to wonder what the hell do I mean? Am I crazy? Am I being anti-Catholic in some way? Do the Jesuits really like the sausage McMuffin better? In reality it would just be something I'd be saying for my own enjoyment.

Just like the Jesuits!

Sunday, August 13, 2017

I Drive Your Truck - Lee Brice



I've been familiar with this song for quite a while but what I did not know was:

A: the song was about Army Sergeant 1st Class Jared Monti and his father Paul
B: Jared Monti was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for his bravery
C: Paul Monti lives in Brocton, Mass
D: Paul Monti wasn't aware the song even existed for 2-years after the song's release

The more you know about the song the more poignant it becomes.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Interesting - MDMA (aka Ecstasy) may help eliminate PTSD

- Happy 56th wedding anniversary to el Tiante and his beautiful wife Maria

- The Deflategate Karma Police claim another victim - this time hypocrite Jerry Jones

- Heh heh

- Proof that Outside Magazine is just a shill mag for Big Wheel. Fire was robbed of the award - robbed I tell you!

- If this doesn't make you tear up - I'm not sure I want to know you

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Cops and Dunkin Donuts

I've been meaning to comment on this story about police officers being refused service at a NYC Dunkin Donuts.

The cops are right to boycott the particular Dunkin franchise and the corporate offices are correct in instructing other franchisees not to say a damn thing about the situation because this could quickly turn into Dunkin Donuts' worst nightmare.

The story I've always been told is that in the 1970's Dunkin Donuts started to offer police officers free coffee and donuts because they were always getting robbed. A mostly cash business that was open all sorts of hours was a magnet for junkies and criminals. Then a sudden and increased police presence was a massive deterrent to the idea that a Dunkin's was an easy mark for a quick robbery. Problem solved and all it cost was some coffee and donuts that would have gone bad anyways.

Now if the police start boycotting Dunkin locations because of some douchebag's sense of entitlement - never mind the bad publicity - how soon before the criminals start targeting the locations being boycotted by the police? How quickly do you think cops will be to speed to those locations when the distress calls comes into dispatch?  Once again Dunkin locations become easy marks for quick cash by those desperate for a fix. And how willing would customers feel about going to a place that could be robbed at any time? Revenue and stock prices would plummet.

My guess is all it would take is a couple of pistol whippings before everyone is back to loving seeing the boys in blue pulling up in their squad cars again. Even the entitled douchebags.

Kurt Vonnegut on the Shapes of Stories



Simply fantastic!

Friday, August 11, 2017

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- How can you not love and root for Tim Tebow?

- How can you not love and root for the Marines?

- Cool - one of the nastiest sea creatures to ever live has been named after Motorhead frontman Lemmy

- Heh heh

- Many TV channels can actually make more streaming than in traditional cable packages.

- Holy fuck!

- I really don't want this report to be true. Though it would explain my having to be put on blood pressure medicine.

The Bill Burr Experience

Edit: Reposting this from 2-years ago because I still think it's a good idea

In recent years a new formula has overtaken the world of stand-up comedy. It used to be (and still is the case for people like Jay Leno) that a comedian had an act and the act and jokes varied very little from year to year. Then comedians started developing an hour's worth of material, honing that material on the road and finally culminating in a taped hour (or so) special. After the special was done the comedian would basically retire the material and start work on a new hour's worth of jokes and stories. Let's call this the Louis CK Formula.

Keeping things new and fresh is absolutely the way to go for people like Louis CK, Jim Gaffigan, and other top comics. However, it almost seems a waste that after the specials are done the material only lives on in DVD sales, on Netflix or HBO Go or in YouTube clips. Here's my idea to fix that and we'll use Bill Burr as an excellent example.

Bill has two great recent specials - You People are All the Same  (2012) and Let It Go (2010). He could tighten the material to about 45 minutes of each by getting rid of anything current events related or stuff that didn't work as well as hoped. Then he could hire actors who looked like him (scrawny, sickly looking red heads) who would do the material. One would open with 45 minutes from Let It Go, then a 15 minute intermission followed by second guy doing 45 minutes from You People are All the Same. Curtain call, both actors take bows and then head off to the next city.

I'd go to see something like that. Bill Burr owns the rights to his own material and this would be a way of both making money off past labors and giving people an excellent entertainment option. Think of it this way - if AC/DC only played new songs in concert people would flock to AC/DC cover bands to hear the old songs.

Call it the Bill Burr Experience and let's get the show on the road. Release the Kracken!

Monday, August 07, 2017

Saturday, August 05, 2017

Friday, August 04, 2017

Colin Kaepernick

I am so sick about dishonest stories about Colin Kaepernick. The only reason he doesn't have an NFL job for the 2017 season is because HE OPTED OUT of his contract! A contract that would have paid him $14.5 million this season!

So why did he opt out of his contract? One assumes for more money and a chance to start for a better team than the 49ers. As far as money - there are only 22 QB's in the NFL who will make more than the $14.5 million he turned his nose up at. After that there is a big drop off in salary to rookie deals and back-up pay.

If you were in a fantasy league would you trade Kaepernick for any of the 22 QB's ahead of him on the salary list? You could argue Mike Glennon at 22 with $15 million but just behind Glennon at 23 is Bears rookie Mitch Trubisky at $7 million. Why would Chicago bring in Kaepernick when they are trying to groom Trubisky as their QB of the future. You could also argue Brock Osweiler at $18 million but that would be like trading one set of problems for another. At least Osweiler seems to want to be a football player. The same can't be said of Kaepernick.

In all the stories out there on Kaepernick - how many talk about his dedication to off-season conditioning or working with a QB guru to improve on this 26th rated completion rate? ZERO! Where's the proof he even wants to play football anymore?

If you are Baltimore do you bring Kaepernick in after his girlfriend compared the team owner to a slave owner? If you're the Dolphins do you bring this guy in for a try-out? People who don't know football will list a number of QB's they think aren't as talented as Kaepernick but the problem is these guys are all back-up QBs! If Kaepernick wanted to be a back-up he could have stayed in San Francisco. The 49ers didn't force him to opt out of his contract.

But you won't read any of the above in the stories about him being "blackballed" by the NFL. Because the truth in this case doesn't fit the wanted narrative.

Slice of Life

Had a vivid dream. I had sex with Jennifer Anniston. She was upset that I didn't use a rubber. Then she was upset that I used a condom but somehow it didn't belong to me. I promised her that I'd buy a box of Trojans. Then we were in an old house that had rooms dedicated to basketball hoops.

Woke up. Had to pee.

Foo Fighters Cover of Tom Sawyer



This cover always makes me smile.

It also makes me want to see Foo Fighters in concert again.

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Happy Birthday to the GOAT


Happy 40th birthday to Tom Brady the best to ever play the game.

Tuesday, August 01, 2017

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Did lunges today for the first time in years. My legs are going to be sore tomorrow!

- Would be marketing genius for Barstool Sports to give these out for free before the Patriots 1st game of the season with Goodell in attendance.

- Who has two thumbs and will be adding walnuts to their diet? This guy!

- Heh heh

- Great article on why Kevin Garnett holds and will always hold a special place in the hearts of Celtics fans.

- President Trump presents Medal of Honor to Vietnam War hero (where do we find such men!)

Top 5 - Sam Shephard Movie Roles


Sam Shephard has passed away at age 73 due to complications from ALS. Here are what I consider his Top 5 Movie roles (you can tell from the above what's number one on my list).

1. The Right Stuff - Chuck Yeager
2  Black Hawk Down - Garrison
3. Purgatory - Wild Bill Hickock (loved the concept of this movie)
4. Mud - Tom (very underrated role in a very underrated movie)
5. The Pelican Brief - Thomas Callahan

Truly a unique talent. RIP