Wednesday, December 07, 2016

Larry Bird

Happy birthday to Larry Legend. The video above helps show why he's so beloved in Boston.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Red Sox Get Chris Sale

So the Red Sox pulled the trigger on a trade for White Sox ace Chris Sale. That now gives them a rotation of Sale, David Price, reigning AL CY Winner Rick Porcello, Edwin Rodriguez and probably Clay Buchholz with Drew Pomeranz being insurance in the bullpen. That's a hell of a rotation. Easily top 3 in baseball (Cubs fans and Mets fans can argue the order). Knuckleballer Steven Wright might be on the outside looking in despite going 13-6 with a 3.33 ERA last season because that's how knuckleballers seem to be treated in MLB.

In order to get Sale the Red Sox gave up perhaps the top prospect in baseball in Yoan Moncada, fireballer Michael Kopech and lottery tickets Victor Diz and Luis Basabe. Much less than I was willing to give up in my hypothetical trade a few days ago. I LOVE the trade!

Some people are concerned about Sale's weight and delivery. Such talk just reminds me of the trade that brought Pedro Martinez to Boston with Carl Pavano and Tony Armas going to the Expos in exchange. Pedro was too thin they said at the time. His delivery is an injury waiting to happen they said at the time. Well that trade worked out OK.

Now I don't mean to compare Sale to Pedro - or to Randy Johnson for that matter (even though height and lefthandedness make that the first comparison that comes to mind). This trade is all about winning now and I like that. I don't care if Moncada goes on to win an MVP in Chicago - as long as Boston gets to the World Series in the next three years. If that happens this trade is a win for Boston.

Since I predicted this trade a few days ago so why not try my hand at a couple more predictions:

1. The Clay Buchholz experience will be traded before the start of the season (maybe even this week)
2. Boston fans and writers will come up with a much better nickname for Chris Sale than "the condor".  That's a mediocre nickname at best. (I also predict some hack Boston writer will use "Condor No Big Unit" after Sale's first loss with the Red Sox.)

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- I like that West Virginia is paired with New Zealand. That just seems to fit in my mind.

- Very thoughtful interview of Jon Stewart on Trump, the election, fake news, etc. Well worth the read.

- With this "tease" - Joe Biden just raised his speaking fees 100%

- The best recommendation General Mattis can get as Secretary of Defense in my opinion.

- So only the Panthers and Raiders have spent less than the Patriots these past 4 years?

- The science is settled

The Buckler

There's Christian Rock but no Christian Wrestling - I say we change that.

This time of year I always think of the following Bible verse:

"As for God, His way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: He is a buckler to all those who trust in him" - Psalm 18:30

I got to thinking that "The Buckler" would be a great name for a Christian wrestler. I went out to to dinner once when this idea first hit me and there was a non-alcoholic beer on the menu called - you guessed it - Buckler. Vince McMahon has to make this happen.

Here's the idea - a Christian wrestler who only wrestles to spread the Gospel. He' gets sponsored by Heineken (they make Buckler beer) and the other wrestler's make fun of his religion in order to get him to lose his cool. Can't you picture Brock Lesner getting the Buckler in a choke hold and saying, "Where's your Moses now?" (like Dathan from The Ten Commandments). Goldberg could pile drive him and ask, "Your God, your God - why has he abandoned you?"

The Buckler in turn could come out with a signature surrender hold called "the crucifixion." The Buckler's entrance music could be some gospel standard or something by Creed. You hear "Onward Christian Soldiers" over the PA and McMahon says, "Is that the Buckler's music I hear?"

It would be controversial and that's what wrestling thrives on. This could be huge.

So let it be written - so let it be done.

Monday, December 05, 2016

Top 5 - Best Versions of Dickens' A Christmas Carol

Every Christmas I make it a point to re-read Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. If you just want to watch the holiday perrienial then here's my rankings:

1. Scrooge - with Alastair Sim
2. A Christmas Carol - with Patrick Stewart
3. Mickey's Christmas Carol
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol
5. Scrooged - with Bill Murray

Sunday, December 04, 2016

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Sorry but I don't care what an actress wears on the red carpet or what cleats and NFL player is wearing today. Sorry just don't care... AKA the saddest Christmas ever... There should be a Cracker Barrel prevention hotline that gives people options of much better restaurants for those about to eat at Cracker Barrel... The type of man we need helping run the country... "Coming of age" stories are a little spot on if you reverse the those three words...Who knew? Barry Manilow's hit I Write the Songs was not written by Barry Manilow... So will Commissioner Goodell be in attendance as Tom Brady breaks the tie for all-time wins by an NFL QB today in Foxboro?... I'm an awful person for laughing at this...

The Peanut Friends TV Show

Here's an idea for a TV show - take the format of the show Friends (including opening song and everything) but instead of the cast of Friends you'd have a real-life grown up versions of Charles Shulz' Peanuts characters.

Instead of a coffee shop - most of the action would take place at a piano bar with Schroeder being the "piano man". Lucy van Pelt, despite having a Ph. D in psychology, is the hostess at the piano bar restaurant (just to be close to Schroeder). Each week Lucy could give an psychoanalysis of whatever issue one of the gang is dealing with. Sort of a running gag. Schroeder could insist everyone call him "maestro" as a Seinfeld shout-out.

Charlie Brown's sister Sally could be played by a blonde hottie and the character would be sort of a slut. His best friend, Linus van Pelt could be played by one of The Big Bang actors who could geek slap big sister Lucy any time one of her on the spot psychoanalytical diagnosis makes no logical sense.

Peppermint Pattie and Marcie would, of course, be lesbians. Maybe Sue Lynch for Pattie and KD Lang for Marcie? Pig Pen could be a recovering drug addict. How could this not work?

And for Charlie Brown - I picture a bald Bill Burr or a younger version of Paul Giamatti. I would seriously watch this show if it were ever made.

Saturday, December 03, 2016

The Truth About the Island of Misfit Toys

It is the Christmas season which means soon holiday classics will be on TV constantly. I need to get off my chest the truth about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys. The thing about the misfit toys wasn't that they were squirt-guns that shot jelly or cowboys who rode ostrich's. The really strange thing about these "toys" was the fact THEY WERE ALIVE!

Now any high school biology student can tell you that life comes from life. These misfit toys were probably the offspring of some sick minded magic elves who must have gotten too "friendly" with some of the toys they were working on and fondling day after day. They were put on the Island of Misfit Toys probably as an attempt by upper management of Santa's Workshop to cover up some of the sick shit that was going on when the lights got turned off at night.

Let's be clear here - we aren't talking about misfit toys either - we are talking about FREAKS! If my kids got a choo-choo with square wheels that was alive - I would freaking BURN IT WITH FIRE! I would also then have to start spending thousands of dollars on therapy probably for the whole family. You could bet that Christmas and Santa would take on whole new meanings (and nightmares) from that day forward.

God help the children who ended up getting those freak misfit toys on Christmas morning.

And don't even get me going on the heroin backstory to The Little Drummer Boy.

Friday, December 02, 2016

Chris Sale

Supposedly Chicago White Sox ace Chris Sale is on the trade block. If you're Dave Dombrowski, President of Baseball Operations for the Boston Red Sox, who do you offer up in exchange for a top pitcher under team control for another 3-years?

Nobody is asking me but here's what I'd offer:

- Yoan Moncada 2B/3B - considered by many to be baseball's top prospect
- Eduardo Rodriquez SP - only 23-years old, MLB ready and who has shown flashes of being a rotation mainstay (somebody has to make room for Sale)
- A top Single A prospect that is mutually agreeable.

For the White Sox - that's a pretty good haul. For the Red Sox - what fan wouldn't be excited about a rotation that features aces Sale, David Price and Cy Young winner Rick Porcello.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

John Brown's Raid on Harpers Ferry

Many people look at the firing upon Fort Sumter as the spark that lit the Civil War but I think the real spark came back in 1859 when John Brown and his "army" of 21 attacked and occupied the armory at Harpers Ferry, VA.

The next day, US Marines under the command of US Army Colonel Robert E. Lee (how's that for irony) attacked Brown and his men. When the gun smoke cleared, 10 of Brown's men were dead (including 2 of his sons) and Brown was taken prisoner and shortly thereafter he was hanged. In fact on this very day 157 years ago.

I find it slightly amusing that most history books and mentions of Brown on the Internet either gloss over or omit completely the fact that Brown was almost certainly insane.

I'm not making any moral judgments on Brown's actions. I'm just saying that he was crazy. Seriously. When I first saw a picture of John Brown - I thought I was looking at Charlie Manson circa 1850.

The John Brown / Charles Manson analogy isn't that bad. Brown raided the armory because he wanted to arm slaves to start a full-fledged slave revolt. Charles Manson has said that he killed those folks in the Hollywood Hills because he hoped that blacks would be blamed and that would spark a race war in the US. This may be one of those things that I only find interesting. 

Thursday, December 01, 2016

Joe Thornton

It has been 11-years since the Boston Bruins traded Joe Thornton to the San Jose Sharks. It was a trade that caused me to try and cancel my cable TV because I was so pissed about it (I didn't want any of my money going to NESN which is co-owned by the Bruins and Red Sox).

Jumbo Joe, the former first pick of the NHL draft was traded for Wayne Primeau, Marco Strum and Brad Stuart. Can you see why I was pissed?

If Thornton played his entire career in Boston, his 900 points would put him 4th on the all-time Bruins scoring list (2 points ahead of Rick Middleton but behind Hall of Famers Ray Bourque, Johnny Bucyk and Phil Esposito). Can you imagine if Joe Thorton on the front line had been coupled with Zedeano Chara on the back line this past decade? I can - that's why I'm still pissed off about the trade.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Heh heh

- Death of an American hero

- In my mind July 9th (7-9) will always be Jeff Fisher day. I agree with Tom E. Curran - how does Fisher still have a job?

- This is probably true

- Cool - for $129,000 you can own Dangerfield's yacht from Caddyshack

- Heh heh

- This holiday season - please keep this in mind

- One dose of magic mushrooms can stop depression for months

A Very Calvin & Hobbes Christmas

Let the Christmas rumpus begin!