Bill Frist just jumped to the top of my shit list:
Many local bookmakers such as "Benny the Bullet" were seen partying and rejoicing in Central Park, New York late last night and into the early morning hours today. Their business is expected to quadruple, just as bootlegging did years ago.
I also imagine that some Poker houses are equally ecstatic to welcome back basement games.
The reason for all of this jubilation is due to Prohibition returning to the United States once again. Only this time, Prohibition is disguised in the mask of an Internet gambling bill.
Lawmakers stayed up late as well, making sure to throw our country back into the Dark Ages. It became apparent that Republicans spearheaded by Senator First would stop at nothing to prohibit Internet gambling. In a last ditch desperation move, the Senate majority leader was able to attach legislation to ban online gambling to a Port Security bill that had no correlation whatsoever with online betting. And it was automatically passed in the Senate without even a debate or a formal vote.