Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Ted Williams

Ted Williams would have turned 98-years old today. He was a complete bad-ass fighting for the Marines in both World War II and in Korea.

He is a member of both the Baseball Hall of Fame and the International Game Fish Hall of Fame.

Williams is the last man to hit .400 in MLB and is wildly regarded as the greatest hitter who ever lived. Williams was so great that during Joe DiMaggio's historic 56-game hitting streak - Williams actually had a better batting average over those same 56 games.

I was too young to ever see him play but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate both his baseball career and his service to his country.

Gene Wilder

The passing of Gene Wilder was announced via a very touching letter from his nephew.

My introduction to Wilder was as a kid seeing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Later in life I learned that the name of the movie was changed from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the name of the book by Roald Dahl) to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because the producers were afraid that movie goers would think the movie had something to do with the Vietnam War (seriously - the movie was released in 1971). Every time I think of why they changed the name I chuckle. "Charlie loves the smell of chocolate in the morning!"

You've probably read about how Wilder created Wonka's entrance in that movie by now.

Ken Levine has a nice remembrance of Wilder from a friend and collaborator of Gene's.

Drew McWeeny at HitFlix also has a very nice appreciation of Wilder.

Wilder was an American genius whose film credits match up against any 20th century actor - any actor! I hope people appreciate just how great Gene Wilder was and how big a gift his performances were to the world.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Colin Kaepernick

At least one black live doesn't seems to matter to Colin Kaepernick - his own.

I appreciate Kaepernick's right to protest. We live in a free society where I too am free to have my beliefs which are mainly not to give a shit about the political beliefs or stances of back-up quarterbacks, B-list actors or comedians who stopped being funny five-years ago.

However, as a football fan I can't look away from this train wreck. And train wreck it is. A complete no-win situation.

Kaepernick has a disastrously large contract. He signed a 6-year $114 million contract in 2014 that has $61 million guaranteed. He could have used some of that $61 million to quietly become a benefactor to so very many. Instead he's become a lightning rod, complete ingrate prick, salary cap albatross or potential season long distraction depending on your point of view.

From the San Francisco 49er's point of view this is a distraction they didn't need from a player with an almost $20 million cap hit if they cut him. For their back-up QB! And if the team cuts him there will be people who complain that it was because Chip Kelly doesn't like black people. If Kaepernick keeps on sitting during the National Anthem then the boos will increase and even his teammates who support him will be put in a more and more uncomfortable situation especially as the losses start mounting (as they will). If Kaepernick caves and starts standing during the anthem - he will be viewed as a coward who lacked real conviction in his beliefs. Kaepernick can't even hide in the locker room during the anthem because he'd be a huge target for missiles thrown from the stands as he runs on and off the field.

I have to wonder if this is some sort of diabolical genius on the part of Kaepernick. Say if he no longer wants to play football but wants to collect all of his guaranteed money. This would be almost the perfect plan. Just sitting during the anthem isn't against the law or even team policy. Sure many people will hate him but this might be a way out of playing football and maybe even into some high paying speaking gigs for clueless kids at liberal arts colleges. I haven't seen anything this diabolical since Al Gore made millions pretending to care about global warming.

One prediction - at one of the 49ers road games this year a country singer (it will be a country singer) will sing the anthem and then shout "Fuck Colin Kaepernick" at the end to extremely loud applause. This country singer will simultaneously become famous overnight and banned from ever singing at another NFL game.

And I won't give a shit about this singer's political beliefs either.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Robert Shaw Describes Donald Trump

Robert Shaw describes Donald Trump at a press conference:
Donald Trump comes cruising in. The reporters form themselves into tight groups. You know it's kind of like ol' squares in a battle or like being roped together at a Hillary press conference. And the idea is if the Donald goes after one reporter and then that reporter would start hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the Donald would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes the Donald, he looks right into you. Right into the reporter's eyes. You know the thing about the Donald, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be a real politician. Until he bites into ya with those scathing remarks and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch complaining and the airways and Internet explode despite all the pounding and hollerin' that the Donald isn't a serious candidate. And that's when the Donald comes in and rips ya to pieces. I'll never go into a press pool again.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

When I see articles or Tweets about a remake of the horror movie IT. My mind always reads it as I.T. Truth be told I have more nightmares about technology than clowns at this point in my life... You know you want the answer to the question "How big is a fart?"... There should be a video of Donald Trump's most narcissistic statement set to Carly Simon's You're So Vain... Heh heh - True Detective Season Three... It's important for Red Sox fans to remember that we wouldn't have Rick Porcello if Boston never traded Jon Lester... So true!... Porn Stache Donald Trump would be a good name for a lesbian Gordon Lightfoot cover band... Fantastic act of kindness... My name is Chris and I'm a recovering Keno addict. "Hi Chris!"...

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- 102-year old woman credits beer for long life. Beer - proof that God loves us!

- Some good advice for protecting your IT devices

- Heh heh - speaking of protecting your IT devices

- And speaking of things you can hack - turns out it is pretty easy to hack traffic signals.

- Don't forget that the Internet was created to bring into your life. The unattainable is unknown at The only limit is yourself.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

John McLaughlin

John McLaughlin the host of The McLaughlin Group has passed away at age 89. The McLaughlin Group was my unofficial political science teacher in high school. I don't remember any particular shows but I do remember the SNL parody of the show.

Which gave rise to the even funnier SNL parody - The Sinatra Group.

RIP John McLaughlin.

Sneezing Vampire

I came up with a new drink this morning - the Sneezing Vampire. It's garlic powder, tomato juice, vodka and a pinch of pepper. I have no idea how it tastes because I came up with the name first. It should be easier to make than a Bloody Mary and if it doesn't taste good - Sneezing Vampires would still be a good name for a band.

When I did a GIS for Sneezing Vampire - I learned that a "vampire sneeze" is an actual thing. You learn something new every day.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I can understand Tim Tebow having a dream of playing pro baseball but can you imagine how much Social Media would have melted down if Tebow announced he was trying out for the WWE instead?... Jay Cutler ladies and gentlemen... Next challenge for Michael Phelps - cage match vs ManBearPig...  It makes me sad that so many NFL fans today associate the Patriots uniform number 81 with Aaron Hernandez and not All-World tight end Russ Francis... So true... So wasn't Mike Lombardi supposed to have signed with Bill Simmons and The Ringer by now? There must be more to the story of why he wasn't retained by Bill Belichick and the Patriots... Speaking of Michael Phelps - how Americans watch men's swimming...

Monday, August 15, 2016

Rio Show de Merda Olympics

While it is not true that Rio de Janeiro is Portuguese for Seaside Detroit it is true that American swimmer Ryan Lochte was robbed at gunpoint even though the IOC wants to pretend it never happened.

Strange but true - one of the biggest questions of the Rio Olympics turns out to be, "What color will the diving pools be today?" Clean water of any kind seems to be a completely foreign concept at these Olympics. So is simple chemistry for that matter.

The diving pools not satisfied with being visually baffling - have now brought the sense of smell into the equation as well. Now the question is, "What do the diving pools smell like today?" Yesterday they smelled like farts.

Meanwhile not even freaking walking is immune to doping scandals.

Not to mention the rampant antisemitism and lack of sportsmanship.

The Rio Show de Merda Olympics keeps living up to its name.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- The rise and fall of Gerd Bonk, the world champion of doping. It is uncanny how Russia under Putin seems to be replicating the doping deeds of East Germany.

- Sad but true - slavery in the modern world is alive and thriving. Roughly 46 million people worldwide are being forced to live as slaves.

- Mystery object beyond Neptune in strange orbit cannot be explained. There is so much we don't know about the outer solar system.

- Nice scouting report on Red Sox outfielder Andrew Benintendi. With Benintendi, Mookie Betts and Jackie Bradley Jr. - the Red Sox have the best young outfield and maybe the best outfield period in baseball.

- You will see lots of these types of political ads over the next few years. And those who support Trump will get what they deserve.

El Chapo and the Secret History of the Heroin Crisis

This is both must reading and scary.

One of the unforeseen consequences of legalized marijuana. The US needs to both learn from this and do something about it. There's hardly anyone anymore who doesn't personally know someone that has been hit by this scourge.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

It would be amusing if the news about Tim Tebow wanting to play pro baseball was an elaborate prank by Jimmy Kimmel... And you thought Donald Trump's Tweets were crazy... Groin Tightness would be a good name for a boy band... In related Olympics news - Roger Goodell and the NFL have announced they are suspending Michael Phelps for the first four races of the 2020 Olympic Games for "reasons"... Cool - guy on stationary bike is cycling through the UK in virtual reality... I think the Yankees should sign Tim Tebow to help with their sagging ticket sales... Heh heh - awesome!... Just saying but Tebow is basically the same age as when Ichiro first tried to play Major League Baseball in the US... Nixon's Haircut would be a good name for a band (or a tax deduction)... Ian McShane is shaping up for a monster 2017. First there's his starring role in American Gods and at about the same release time he has a supporting role in John Wick: Chapter Two...

Happy (Belated) Birthday to Bob Cousy

Happy birthday to the Houdini of the Hardwood who turned 88-years young yesterday.

We love you Cooz!

Rio Show de Merda Olympics

The first four days of the Rio Olympics have been a virtual American orgasm of success especially in men's and women's swimming and in women's gymnastics. These games might be remembered as the Michael Phelps Olympics. Seriously - does anyone think that this won't be one of the lasting images of the Rio Games? For the less mature this might be the one. That doesn't mean that there hasn't been a slew of strange, unsettling or just plain wrong things happening in Brazil.

Lost in all the other swimming hype Ryan Lochte announced plans to be lead singer in an Everclear cover band post Olympics.

The bad news for Michael Phelps and the other winners is the value of their gold medals has been literally debased. Sad but true - as debased as the gold medals have become they are still less debased than what Russia has done to the Olympic ideals. The Russians aren't alone in not understanding what sportsmanship or goodwill mean. I guess when so much money is involved goodwill and the true sporting spirit just don't add to the bottom line.

The pollution and dirty water isn't even limited to outdoor venues in Rio as this photo of the diving pool attests. Good on Clorox for not missing a great marketing opportunity.

People are taking literal pot-shots at the press. Coaches are getting robbed at knife-point. Rare creatures are sacrificed in attempts at pageantryAnd officials even lost the keys to the Olympic Stadium.

Meanwhile in the real world in Brazil - they are going to have an impeachment trial for their President.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Tim Tebow to Play Baseball?

Tim Tebow wants to play Major League baseball. The San Diego Padres would seem the best fit.

Tebow already has the team haircut down.

A-Rod vs Big Papi

On Sunday David Ortiz went to the Dodgers' broadcast  booth to visit legend Vin Scully. The result was the above picture. With the news of Alex Rodriguez's "retirement" - I couldn't help but wonder if A-Rod had likewise visited Scully - would Vin have had the same look of joy on his face?

The Dodgers honored Ortiz with an on-the-field pre-game ceremony Friday. The Red Sox plan no similar sendoff for A-Rod in his last visit to Fenway starting tonight.

A-Rod and Big Papi are both first-ballot Hall of Fame players. It just struck me the difference of how the two are regarded personally around baseball.

Monday, August 08, 2016

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

So the NFL had to cancel the Hall of Fame game. No word on what Tom Brady's punishment for that will be... Good luck if you are traveling with Delta today... I think if you asked most baseball fans about Alex Rodriguez I'm guessing the words "phony" or "goofy" would pop up more often than not... Heh heh - 90-year old man gives perfect 90-year old man answer to prostitution charges... The Mosquito Authority would be a good name for a band... And by "phony" and "goofy" - I'm talking about things like this... No Donald Trump has absolutely no ties to Vladimir Putin - absolutely none...

Friday, August 05, 2016

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Gary Kasparov on the danger Trumps poses as an unwitting (or witting) agent of Putin.

- I really want to go somewhere where the Milky Way is visible to the naked eye. This is breathtaking.

- John McEnroe with maybe the best first pitch ever thrown

- In depth long read on why maybe the war on PED's should be ended. I'm of two minds on the subject. I think sports PEDs hurt the use of regular people in their search of better, longer lives but I also don't want parents putting kids on PEDs because they want their kids to be the best.

- Golf fight! Golf fight!

- Things that make you say "Hmmmm..." The one joke Trump banned from his Comedy Central Roast.

Thursday, August 04, 2016

Rio Show de Merda Olympics

Let the Rio Show de Merda Olympics begin!

Is It Wrong?

Is it wrong to laugh at a guy wearing a leather Harley-Davidson jacket but riding a Vespa? I couldn't help it - I laughed.

Maybe the jacket is inspirational? "Today I have a Vesper but my goal is to have a Harley!" Sort of a modification of the "Dress for the job you want" idea? Dress for the bike you want?

Anyway - I laughed.

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Rio Show de Merda Olympics

Some of the latest updates that is the shit show called the 2016 Rio Olympics.

All efforts by the government to clear the Rio waters seem to have failed. Athletes are being told to keep their mouths clamped closed or risk getting some serious diseases. Fantastic!

This seems to be the perfect analogy for the country of Brazil's ability to afford hosting the Olympics in the first place. Rio Olympics selling knock off versions of its own merchandise. The reasoning behind this move is because regular Brazilians can't afford regular Olympic merchandise.

Look for gallows humor like this to abound the next few weeks.

Welcome to the Rio Show de Merda Olympics!

Happy Birthday Tom Brady

Happy 39th birthday to the greatest NFL player of all-time Tom Brady.

I'm still hoping that he sues the NFL for defamation and Roger Goodell for creating a hostile workplace. Him filing those lawsuits during his suspension are my birthday wishes for Brady.

Monday, August 01, 2016

Rio Show de Merda Olympics

Another update on the shit show that is the 2016 Rio Olympics.

Yes the accommodations do present some challenges.

But I'm guessing as bad as the accommodations are you'd just as soon not have them set on fire so someone could rob you.

But in Rio you don't even have to check in to get robbed by the ole one guys pukes on you while the accomplice robs your stuff while you clean up scam. And if you think this was a one-off robbery how about the final sentence of the article?
When the two tried to report the theft to Rio police, they found a two-hour wait due a long line of other people reporting having been mugged.
It could be worse though - you could be raped by a security guard inside the Olympic Park.

Welcome to the Rio Show de Merda Olympics!