Thursday, December 31, 2015

Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton has just two things on his mind today.... The two college football playoff games.

ALR: Mister President thank you for joining us this morning. I understand you are a big college football fan. Who do you like in today's Oklahoma vs Clemson matchup?

BC: Good to be here Chris. I woke up this morning craving melons for breakfast and now I'm craving some football. My first inclination was toward Clemson because I thought the coach's name was Yabbos Sweeney but I was mistaken. I know "Big Game" Bob Stoops is just 8-8 in bowl games in his career but I think the Sooners win this one. I'm giving the 4 points (though I'm hoping I get a line of -3.5 so I can buy half a point).

ALR: And the Alabama vs. Michigan State game?

BC: It may surprise some folks that Nick Saban is also just 8-8 straight up and against the spread in bowl games but here's the thing - Saban really brings his milk shakes to the yard when playing against former assistants. It's like me running an election against Al Gore (who is a real boob and not the good type of boob). I like the Crimson Tide even though 10 is a lot of pompoms to be giving up.

ALR: Good luck Mister President.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

If ESPN's Chris Mortensen was asked to sit on a jury on a case involving Peyton Manning - he'd have to be recused because he's a longtime friend. Yet we are supposed to think he's objective when it come to Peyton's reputed HGH usage... Excelsior! Stan Lee turned 93 yesterday... Is the brain "affected" by alcohol or "effected" by alcohol? Or both?... Manning's doctor is famous for his HGH therapy but we are supposed to believe he was going to him for other treatments... The Ewoks are dead. All of them... Words in a Cunning Order would be a good name for a blog - or a publishing company... My favorite part of the Manning story is now whenever Peyton gets mad at anyone - people can immediately ascribe it to "Roid Rage"... Touching stories of George W. Bush visiting soldiers in the hospital... So does Manning retire at the end of the season with this HGH story hanging over his head or does he try to stay on and dare the Broncos to cut him?... I'm an awful person for laughing at this...

Monday, December 28, 2015

Peyton Manning

Peyton Manning has never used HGH or broken any NFL rules ever. He is a great person of integrity is is beloved in America as witnessed by the large number of commercials he does. Praise be his name. Also Bill Cosby did not rape those women. - Baghdad Bob ESPN Spokesman

Saturday, December 26, 2015


Three articles on retirement - two from former pro athletes and one on David Letterman. Interesting perspectives:

- Joey Harrington looks back on his NFL career.

- Shane Battier is trying to transition from his NBA career to the next challenge

- David Letterman makes me want to move to Whitefish, Montana

Flotsam and Jetsam

Some day after Christmas miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Saw the new Star Wars movie last night. Let's just say that I'm still bothered by some of the liberties the movie took with the laws of planetary physics... Just so I'm clear on all of this - according to the Clintons oral sex isn't sex and according to Donald Trump schlong doesn't mean dick. Gotcha... Why Nova Scotia sends Boston a Christmas tree every year... Years after the original Star Wars movie came out it was retitled as "A New Hope". I think years from now this current Star Wars movie will be retitled as "The New Reboot"... Heh Heh... People like to diminish Bill Belichick's abilities as a GM but it should be noted that all seven of the players from the Patriots to be named to the Pro Bowl were either drafted by the team or signed as undrafted free agents. That's a pretty good accomplishment... The new laziness... Hope everyone had a great Christmas. If you want to know what issues I had with the new Star Wars movie - I'd be happy to let you know in the comments section (spoiler alert obviously)...

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Top 5 - Best Versions of Dickens' A Christmas Carol

1. Scrooge - with Alastair Sim
2. A Christmas Carol - with Patrick Stewart
3. Mickey's Christmas Carol
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol
5. Scrooged - with Bill Murray

Christmas Flotsam and Jetsam

Christmastime miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

What has ruined Christmas music more for you? Radio stations that start playing Christmas songs 24/7 since Thanksgiving or Yoko Ono's back-up "singing" on John Lennon's Happy Christmas (War is Over)... A very touching Christmas Bloom County... Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher Pud Galvin was born Christmas 1856. He was nicknamed Pud because he made hitters look like "pudding" at the plate. Not because he was a dick... Dear Jack Edwards - we wish you a merry Christmas too... History factoid: The official signal for the scramble to evacuate the US Embassy in Saigon 40-years ago was the playing of Bing Crosby's White Christmas... They were trying to kill each other again the next day...

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Top 5 - Otters in US History

Here are what I consider to be the Top 5 Otters in US history. Otter from Animal House did not make the list because he's fictional. List in reverse order of significance:

5. Obadiah Otter - he was a curious otter who happened upon the Donner Party in 1846. These were the first humans Obadiah ever encountered and as it worked out also the last. He is historically significant because he kept the Donner Party from resorting to cannibalism (for an additional 36 hours).

4. Jeremiah Otter - his wife and adopted son were killed by a Crow Indian raiding party. He spent the rest of his life tracking down Crow Indians and ripping out their necks while they slept. He became a Rockie Mountain legend and some say a myth. Some even say he's up in those mountains still.

3.  Sergeant York Otter - while it was widely reported that the Navy experimented with strapping bombs to dolphins it is lesser known that the Army had a similar project utilizing otters. Sergeant York Otter was named after the WWI hero and died during a training accident.

2. Sacajawea Otter - the only female otter on the list. She was the mascot of the Lewis and Clark expedition party until she was killed by Meriwether Lewis and her pelt was exchanged for some corn meal.

1. Bedford Otter - this otter is significant because as a youth he used to live in a pond in Bedford Falls and one winter when he was young he was poking around under the ice to the point where he caused a few cracks.  These cracks broke when a young Harry Bailey was sledding onto the ice. In one timeline Harry's older brother George was able to save Harry but in another timeline George wasn't around to save Harry. In a third less publicized timeline - Bedford Otter didn't nose around under the ice and Harry never fell into the icy waters. In that timeline George Bailey was a whole lot less necessary to the happiness of Bedford Falls.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I think the NFL should stand firm and suspend Odell Beckham Jr. for this Sunday's game... WFT? Actor Nicolas Cage agrees to return stolen skull of dinosaur Tyrannosaurus bataar to Mongolia...  I'm starting to think Leonardo DiCaprio is "protesting too much" that he didn't get "raped" by a bear. Was it consensual?... Nice math trick - if you divide 1 by 998,001 you get all three digit numbers from 000 to 999 in order... Speaking of dinosaurs - Plesiosaurs may have swum like penguins... Black Hermione would be a great name for a band... "Ball Peen Hammer" sounds like it could be a sex act from the Urban Dictionary. Is "peen" ever used in any other phrase?... Yes this is the GIF of the year...  I should note that I'm in a Fantasy Football final and I'm playing against a guy who is starting Eli Manning and Odell Beckham Jr. Suspend the bastard!...

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Saturday, December 19, 2015

The NFL and the Concussion Protocols

So the NFL wants to fine teams that don't follow the concussion protocols. If I were the NFLPA I wouldn't fall for this. Just another power grab by Roger Goodell.

I have a better suggestion. If a team obviously doesn't follow the concussion protocols (like with what happened to Case Keenum earlier in the season) and a three doctor panel agrees - then the affected player gets his entire contract guaranteed. If a team suddenly feels like there could be salary cap implications in treating a player's health like a disposable commodity - then you would suddenly see a sharp change in how things are handled. Teams would be instantly erring on the side of caution (as they should anyway).

So let it be written so let it be done.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Tom Brady and Politics

Dan Wetzel has a good take on Tom Brady and his relationship with Donald Trump. I agree with the idea that it is a no win situation for Brady and at the same time none of anyone's business.

If I owned the Patriots - here's how I would handle the situation:

First I would cancel all current press credentials. Then I would have all the "journalists" reapply but have to fill out a brief form. The form would ask, "What is your political affiliation?" "Who did you vote for in the last two Presidential elections?" "Who do you plan to vote for in the 2016 Presidential election?"

At the bottom of the form would be a box you can check that would say, "I'm not answering those questions. My politics or anyone's politics is nobody's business. I'm just here to cover football."

Then I'd only give credentials to people who checked the box.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Fairytale of New York

The best Christmas song ever! Now I'm in the holiday spirit!

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Did not watch the GOP debate last night. I have no plans to watch any debates because it doesn't really matter and I have better things to do with my time... Nicely done LeBron. Nicely done... In the end the GOP candidate will be either Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz. I'm OK with either choice... Last night's debate was supposed to be on foreign policy. How come the media so eager to ask the GOP candidates questions on foreign policy are so silent on the failures of the current administration?.... My guess is that either Ben Carson or Carly Fiorina will be the choice for VP. I'm OK with either of those choices too... The sad reality of social media fame. I think you do things like this because you want to and enjoy it not because you want to get rich or famous. For instance I seek neither fame nor fortune via this blog (I make zero from this site). I just like writing down my thoughts to make more room for the voices in my head that are screaming, SCREAMING to be heard... This seems like a very common sense proposal by Senators Ted Cruz and Mike Lee... Holiday tip - as a joke when you go to a friend's home for a Christmas party replace the can of air freshener in the bathroom with a can of Raid. Your hostess will love you for it... Our allies the Saudis...

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Darth Trump

This is fantastic! Huuuge!

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

[Shocked] Shelby Miller was worth all of that? [Scratching my head] Is Shelby Miller worth all that? This trade has a whiff of Doyle Alexander for John Smoltz to me except this is pre-season not during the season... Heh heh... The things you learn on the Internet: the difference between caramel and butterscotch is butterscotch contains brown sugar instead of white... This may be the only thing from Charles Schultz that actually made me chuckle (I'm a bad person)... How much money do you think it would take to get Peyton Manning to sing, "On the bench it feels so weird" in that State Farm jingle?... Neal Pert is retiring from drumming... Still not 100% convinced that the @realDonaldTrump Twitter feed isn't actually a parody account. It would explain so much... Holy shit! Wait for it!... Boston sports troll Dan Shaughnessy won the Spink Award which means he gets into the baseball Hall of Fame -  which means going to Cooperstown to rub my balls all over Shaughnessy's plaque just made my bucket list...

Monday, December 07, 2015

Larry Bird

Happy birthday to Larry Legend. The video above helps show why he's so beloved in Boston.

Pearl Harbor Day Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations on the 74th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

On this day 74 years ago Japan attacked the United States Naval base at Pearl Harbor... Taking the President's example - Bill Belichick to blame Patriots loss to Eagles on Global Warming... Great moments in marketing history... Interestingly enough - after Pearl Harbor - Canada actually declared war on Japan before the US did... Just 2 days after Pearl Harbor baseball great Bob Feller volunteered for military service. It was this patriotism that Ted Williams always admired more about Feller than anything Feller ever did on the baseball diamond... Interesting article on how Pearl Harbor created big government in the US and how that era is coming to an end... Random thought - Spare Time is a great name for a bowling alley...

Sunday, December 06, 2015

Top 5 - Robert Loggia Roles

Saddened by the recent passing of actor Robert Loggia. At one point in time Loggia seemed to be everywhere and in some small role in every movie or TV show that came out. Here are what I consider his top 5 roles.

1. Scarface (Frank Lopez)
2. Big (MacMillan)
3. Independence Day (General William Grey)
4. Necessary Roughness (Coach Wally Rig)
5. Prizzi's Honor (Edwardo Prizzi)

As far as I'm concerned you could put those roles in any order you like. Loggia wasn't the lead but he was memorable in all those films. You could also argue the TV show Mancuso, FBI should make the list but I'd have to leave that to you since I never watched the show.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Holy crap! I've always thought it would be cool to boat down the entire length of the Mississippi River but to swim it? Incredible.

- Heh heh

- Mexican nativity scene?

- But isn't just deciding to be a vegan a sign of mental illness to begin with?

- Sad but true

- If they weren't so expensive - these teabags would make excellent gifts

- Heh heh

- Heartwarming story of what sounds like a great community

Friday, December 04, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

My heartfelt condolences to anyone who bet on the Detroit Lions last night. That was the ultimate bad beat... This has been my favorite joke to tell the past 6 months... It has to be asked - is Abe Vigoda an immortal?... In New England the Patriots have become so big that kids don't write letters to Santa any more. They write letters to Teddy Bruschi... BTW - that wasn't a facemask last night. Never should have been a flag... Interesting - is intermittent fasting good for you?... Is the answer oral sex? If not I don't want to know the question... Heh heh... You have to think that there were a lot of  Packer fans and people who bet on Green Bay who turned off the game when it was 17-0 last night. What a nice surprise for those folks to wake up to this morning...

Thursday, December 03, 2015

The Buckler

There's Christian Rock but no Christian Wrestling - I say we change that.

This time of year I always think of the following Bible verse:

"As for God, His way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: He is a buckler to all those who trust in him" - Psalm 18:30

I got to thinking that "The Buckler" would be a great name for a Christian wrestler. I went out to to dinner once when this idea first hit me and there was a non-alcoholic beer on the menu called - you guessed it - Buckler. Vince McMahon has to make this happen.

Here's the idea - a Christian wrestler who only wrestles to spread the Gospel. He' gets sponsored by Heineken (they make Buckler beer) and the other wrestler's make fun of his religion in order to get him to lose his cool. Can't you picture the Undertaker getting the Buckler in a choke hold and saying, "Where's your Moses now?" (like Dathan from The Ten Commandments). Triple H could pile drive him and ask, "Your God, your God - why has he abandoned you?"

The Buckler in turn could come out with a signature surrender hold called "the crucifixion." The Buckler's entrance music could be some gospel standard or something by Creed. You hear "Onward Christian Soldiers" over the PA and McMahon says, "Is that the Buckler's music I hear?"

It would be controversial and that's what wrestling thrives on. This could be huge.

So let it be written - so let it be done.

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

A Legend Retires

So a 37-year old NBA legend announces his intention to retire at the end of the season and it sets off a big farewell tour. All the NBA cities who will be seeing him play for the last time make a big production of it. You might think I am speaking of Kobe Bryant but actually I was referring to Celtics legend John Havlicek's 1977-78 season.

The similarities between the two players is pretty pronounced. Start with the size - Bryant 6'6" and 212 pounds vs Havlicek's 6'5" and 203 pounds. Kobe went into the NBA right from high school so has the benefit of 4 more NBA seasons. Havlicek meanwhile went to college and is also a legend at Ohio State. In Havlicek's final season he averaged 16.1 points plus 4 assists and 4 rebounds per game. Kobe is averaging 15.5 points along with 3.4 assists and 4.1 rebounds.

If you take away the points from Kobe's first 4 seasons and factor in that the 3-pointer wasn't around in Havlicek's day - the Black Mamba would still be the better scorer but only by the slightest of margins (26,930 points and counting to 26,395). The rebounds favor Havlicek  (8,007 to 6,853 and counting) while Kobe has the slight advantage in assists averaging 5.3 career per game to Hondo's 4.8 (and Kobe was the guy who supposedly didn't pass the ball). These two guys are statistically almost mirror images.

Havlicek was a 13-time NBA All-Star while Kobe went to 17-All-Star games (and counting). It is a big deal that Kobe also won 5 NBA Championships with the Lakers but let's not forget that Havlicek owns 8 Championship rings from his career with the Celtics.

The whole point of this isn't to take anything away from Kobe but just that it saddens me that Havlicek seems completely forgotten and the two were almost identical. Even as a Celtics fan I'll admit that Kobe was the better player but the difference wasn't as great as some would have you believe.

Top 5 - Christmas Songs by Rock Stars

1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen 
2. Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid 
3. Father Christmas - The Kinks 
4. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Bare Naked Ladies 
5. Little Drummer Boy - Bing Crosby and David Bowie 

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Tax the NCAA

Georgia fired head football coach Mark Richt after 15-years of winning about 75% of all the games he coached. By all accounts Mark Richt is a good and decent man who was a fine representative for the University but in the end that wasn't enough. At the same time that was playing out LSU was letting head coach Les Miles twist in the wind. The same Les Miles who had LSU wanked in the Top 5 earlier in the year and who has recently won a National Championship.

Isn't it time to give up the pretense that big time college sports have anything to do with education? Can anyone give me a good reason why the money generated by Division 1 sports isn't taxed?

Top 5 - Best Versions of Dickens' Christmas Carol

1. Scrooge - with Alastair Sim 
2. A Christmas Carol - with Patrick Stewart 
3. Mickey's Christmas Carol 
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol 
5. Scrooged - with Bill Murray 

Monday, November 30, 2015

It's a Wonderful Cure for Bad Eyesight

Now that the Christmas season is upon us let me nitpick something that bugs me about the classic movie It's a Wonderful Life.   

When Jimmy Stewart is alive and him and Donna Reed are busy making kids - her eyesight is perfect. No eyeglasses for Donna Reed. But when Jimmy never existed - all of a sudden the librarian / spinster Reed needs eyeglasses. What happened? 

Now you can argue that she needs glasses because as a librarian she reads more books but I'm not buying that. I think Frank Capra was trying to send out a pro-sex message. Sex is so good it makes your eyesight better! Jimmy Stewart's cure for nearsightedness (that would be a good name for a band - well maybe not). 

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Cool - animated map shows Civil War's front lines in 5 minutes

- Heh heh

- I think the unit of measure should be Free Bird because 'Merica

- These were pretty funny

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I think the crisis in faith in the Catholic Church stems from the fact that a big deal is made out of First Communion but second communion not so much. That's when things start to get off the rails... Heh heh - advice from tech support... Wladimir Klitchko lost the heavyweight title he's held for 10-years last night. It might be true that Klitchko was the strongest man to hold the title since Jess Willard. Maybe George Foreman should also be in the conversation... It would have been a little cooler if she yelled, "That's Captain Jack Sparrow"... Seriously - how soon before universities in the US ban images of Uncle Sam because it gives some precious snowflake the vapors?...  How many men are going to read this and think, "I got to get me a BMW motorcycle"... When Jack Dempsey started boxing he used to splash bull urine in his face because it was believed it would make his face tougher and so protect against cuts. What weird belief do you think athletes have today that will look just as ridiculous 100-years hence...  That was true of Lincoln... George Washington wasn't perfect. He didn't like whiskey... Sometimes evil just looks silly... Pretty sure Rape Whistle would be a bad name for either a band or a coconut rum drink... Cool... If you raped Peter Pan would you also be charged with statutory? What about possible elder abuse? Legally how old is Peter Pan? Asking for a friend...

Friday, November 27, 2015

Worricker Trilogy

Thanksgiving is a time for reflection, over-eating and also for binge watching. What I ended up binge watching on Amazon Prime was the Worricker Trilogy. I highly recommend this smart "spy thriller". I put "spy thriller" in quotes because it isn't exactly James Bond. In fact in the three movies there was just one murder (by boat oar) and the only time you ever see a gun is if they belong to a guard. Maybe the best way to describe the series is a modern John LeCarre meets Walter Matthau's Hopscotch (another personal favorite).

The three movies Page Eight (2011), Turks & Caicos (2014) and Salting the Battlefield (2014) feature some fantastic acting led by the smooth Bill Nighy in the title role of Johnny Worricker. The supporting cast in the three movies includes Rachel Weisz, Michael Gambon, Ralph Fiennes, Winona Ryder, Christopher Walken, and Helena Bonham Carter. Not too shabby - huh?

The politics of the series is tilted left and if there are any bad guys there's a good chance they are American or support the Americans. However, the writing gives Ralph Fiennes who plays the Prime Minister a chance to express his point of view which leaves even Johnny Worricker questioning what is right and wrong.

If you are looking for something smart to watch that is a little off the beaten path - give the Worricker Trilogy a shot. I recommend it.

Johnny Appleseed

A little Joe Strummer to start off your day just because.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

For the next few weeks I'm purposefully going to be that super annoying guy who keeps asking, "So got your Christmas shopping done yet?"... This is true - Turkey remembers... Who knew? Great Britain was once the world champion of ice hockey. They won the Gold Medal in hockey at the 1936 Winter Olympics...  Just a reminder - Russia and Turkey have a quite a history of not getting along... Barack Obama - Less Competent than Carter and More Paranoid than Nixon". Wish that could fit on a bumper sticker... Heh heh - "Revis Island"... I think LSU would be crazy to fire Les Miles. If he wins this weekend he'll have pretty much the exact same record that Nick Saban had at LSU (49-15 for Miles vs 48-16 for Saban). If anything get the man better coordinators. Where's Les Miles version of Lane Kiffen on offense?... Cool quick cartoon explanation of Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...

Put Joe Biden in the Movie Title

I amused myself by replacing part of some of the greatest movie titles of all-time with Joe Biden. Some of these movies actually should be made:

The Good, the Bad and the Joe Biden
The Silence of the Joe Biden
Forrest Gump
Joe Biden 2: Judgement Day
Joe Biden of Arabia
Eternal Sunshine of the Joe Biden
Joe Biden: A Space Odyssey
Inglorious Joe Bidens
Mr. Joe Biden Goes to Washington
Cool Hand Joe Biden

Monday, November 23, 2015

Epic Brawl Between Galway And Dublin At Fenway Park

This is awesome! Makes hockey fights look like tea parties.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Can anyone recall the last time Bill Belichick mismanaged the game clock? How come almost every NFL coach seems to have problems with this?... This is pretty amazing... I think the word "orgasm" should be replaced by the word "culminate"... Some historians suggest that the new invention of chlorinated water may have saved more lives of soldiers at the front in World War I than were lost by deaths from chlorine gas in that same war... Obamacare is a dumpster fire... Hey look at me! Just an observation but guys with tattoos on their calves are more likely to wear shorts in the winter... The Jets are saddled with a 5-year $71 million contract to Darrelle Revis. Just saying but you don't see the Patriots getting stuck with deals like that... Excellent point... A "monger" of fish and a "monger" of whores engage in two very different activities... Dear Santa - all I want for Christmas is for you to bring back Orange Zima... The work of art Dogs Playing Poker sells for over $650,000...

Sunday, November 22, 2015

ND vs BC

I was going to post something about the latest chapter of the Holy War yesterday but I was kind of busy. You knew last night's game was going to be special starting with yesterday's beautiful sunrise over Fenway.

There were a lot of storylines attached to this game starting with the death of Doug Flutie's parents just an hour apart after 56 years of marriage and Flutie's decision to still call the game for NBC. A moment of silence were held for the elder Flutie's prior to the game. There was the return of native son Brian Kelly who got his football coaching start in nearby Assumption College in Worcester. How about Torii Hunter's son getting to use David Ortiz' locker? There was the story of the Irish trying to remain in the hunt for a berth in the college football playoffs. Then there was the very idea of a college football game at Fenway Park where Boston College had a record of 75-21-5 in 101 previous games at Fenway but were the "visiting team".

All the storylines seemed related and seemed to weave in and out of each other. The last time Boston College payed at Fenway was a 7-0 loss to Holy Cross in 1956. Decades later it was the dominance of Doug Flutie's Eagles team that led Holy Cross to end the Crusaders rivalry against the Eagles. And now another team with a Worcester connection was about to make Boston College 0-2 in their last two Fenway tilts.

You had to know that this was going to be a close game though. Sure the Eagles offense is anemic but their defense is one of the top 5 in the country. Besides this game has historically been close. The last two times these teams met the Irish were 20 and 24 point favorites but the final scores were 21-6 in 2012 and 16-14 in 2011. Boston College was getting 15.5 points last night.

Hope you enjoyed the game as much as I did.


Saturday, November 21, 2015

Reggie Lewis

Today would have been Reggie Lewis' 50th birthday. He is still missed very much by Boston sports fans.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

David Ortiz

Today is David Ortiz's 40th birthday - Happy Birthday Big Papi! Ortiz is also in the news because he's rumored to be retiring after this season. 2016 will mark Ortiz's 20th year in MLB and over that career he will have made over $160 million on the field. I'd say that's a nice career.

I'd even say that's a Hall of Fame career. Ortiz is just one of four players all-time to have over 500 HR and 3 World Series rings - the others are Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle and Reggie Jackson. That's some pretty good company right there. Ortiz also just needs 16 more doubles this season to become just the third player in MLB history to have over 500 HR and 600 plus doubles - the other two are Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds. Again that's some pretty good company.

If for whatever reason you're on the fence about Ortiz being a Hall of Fame player consider that most in Boston - the people who have seen him play the most - would generally consider Ortiz the greatest living Red Sox player. Sure some might prefer Carl Yastrzemski or Pedro Martinez and I understand those arguments but once again - look at the company Ortiz is keeping in this argument. And nobody I think would even argue that Jim Rice was greater and Rice is also in the Hall of Fame.

In making Ortiz's Hall of Fame argument I haven't even brought up his otherworldly heroics in helping Boston win 3 World Series. Or how much he meant to the City after the Boston Marathon bombings.

So happy birthday Big Papi and I hope you enjoy your final season as much as we've enjoyed watching you. And six years from now we will see you in Cooperstown where you belong.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Even if many on the left don't care that ISIS could easily slip in terrorists among the Syrian refugees - you would think at some point they would realize that so many new unskilled workers will be taking all those jobs that normally go to people with Philosophy and Women's Studies degrees... Got to love Gronk being Gronk... Every time my doctor talks to me about ADHD - I change the subject... Flippertigibbet is such a great word. We all know a flibbertigibbet... I'm going to start using the word "feisty" randomly this week. What a feisty potato chip! What a feisty gas pump! What a feisty use of language... Andre the Giant is soo cool... So if someone says, "You look familiar - were we in a police lineup together?" What's the proper response?... It's funny because it's true... Any time I see Newt Gingrich - I try to picture him as Santa's gay half-brother to see if it makes him more likable...

Monday, November 16, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Went to the Pats game in New Jersey yesterday. What a game! Only way it could have been better is if the Pats covered the 6.5 points I layed on them on Monday... This is a serious showing of disrespect... Does Budweiser even make regular Michelob anymore?... Can I be the only one who thinks Patton Oswald and Amy Shumer stopped being funny once they started taking themselves so seriously?...  Excellent column on Ronda Rousey's loss to Holly Holm on Saturday. I went out to watch the event and am still kicking myself for not putting $20 on Holm. As soon as I saw all the freckles I was rooting for her. Nothing like a pretty woman with freckles... The Russian track and field cheating scandal is probably the biggest sports story worldwide but getting very little attention in the US... Heh heh... I am going to add Founder of the Lynch Research Institute to my LinkedIn page. I will also buy a sign saying Lynch Research Institute to place in my bathroom... Soon to be the most popular app on the Internet...

Friday, November 13, 2015

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Captain Groberg Medal of Honor awardee - where do we find such men?

- Sounds like a plot to a Tom Clancy novel

- Good for Governor Baker - "fantasy football is not gambling"

- This is hilarious (but also why I don't watch network TV news)

- My new favorite language blog - Strong Language: A Sweary Blog about Swearing

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Figured it out - Tom Brady is John Wick and Roger Goodell stole his car and killed his dog... I really enjoyed this photo of Queen Elizabeth... This Thanksgiving is President Obama going to ask us to talk about Obamacare around the dinner table again or is there another political hot button he'd like for us to ruin our holiday with?... People keep wondering how the Patriots will replace the productivity of RB Dion Lewis. I would expect them to use Julian Edelman and Danny Amanadola out of the backfield on 3rd down this Sunday...  Cool - Former Navy Seal breaks wingsuit distance record for a good cause... If Justin Beiber made a Christmas CD - I'd give it to people I hate as a gift... Interesting - what happens to your body during an ultra marathon... I keep thinking there's a skinhead couple out there who named their baby Hitler and now they are wondering why everyone wants to kill their child... Heh heh - Liberal Arts Education... Ronda Rousey is a -$1,900 favorite this Saturday vs Holly Holm. That means you'd have to risk $1,900 to win only $100... I agree that Greg Hardy is a horrible person but it bugs me that but many of the same sportswriters expressing outrage were silent when it came out that Philly sportswriter Bill Conlin was a child molester...

Should We Trust the Colts?

First there was Jay Glazer saying that Colts QB Andrew Luck was playing with broken ribs but was not being listed on the team's injury report. Now the Indy QB will be out 2-6 weeks with a lacerated kidney. That's a similar injury that has put Chargers WR Keenan Allen out for the season. Why should we trust the Colts' report on this?

Could the Colts be saying 2-6 weeks for Luck because they don't want to adversely affect ticket sales for the last two home games of the year against the Texans and Titans? Neither of those teams is a real draw and would be even less so if the Colts were to be playing without their franchise QB. The Colts do have a motive to lie.

What if Indianapolis knows Luck is done for the season but is misleading the public again? Will the NFL punish them for this fraud? Will they punish them for treating the injury report as a joke? Does the NFL and Roger Goodell have any integrity at all?

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Veteran's Day

Thank you to all the veterans out there. Is service is greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Happy 240th Marines

Today is the 240th birthday for the United States Marine Corps. 

In honor of the Marines - here's my favorite Ronald Reagan quote:
Some people live their entire lifetime and wonder if they ever made a difference to the world. Marines don't have that problem. -- January 1995

Sunday, November 08, 2015

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

When they introduce Peyton Manning they should say 5-time "regular season" MVP just to make sure people understand it doesn't include playoffs... Heh - probably the most unfortunate dot dot dot in any political retweet ever... If Budweiser is the King of Beers then Michelob Ultra is the Tofu of Beers... Heh heh... Would The tenderloin be a better name for a strip club or for a lesbian bar?... Stunningly beautiful... I hope the Pagano / Grigson issues don't cause Colts owner Jim Irsay to relapse into drug use. Or maybe he already has which would explain a lot... I like the word "lumberjacks" and really think florists should instead be called "flowerjacks"... I will never be able to look at Andy Reid the same ever again... When I heard people were arguing to have the NFL strip Houston from hosting the Super Bowl I just assumed it was because of their awful field turf not because of the city's bathroom policies...

Saturday, November 07, 2015

Just Saying

Yesterday the Internet was abuzz about photos of two NFL players.

First there was this photo of Tom Brady.

Then there were these pictures about Greg Hardy.

One of these guys the NFL is going all-out trying to punish. If I had to bet I would say one of the guys will end up in the Football Hall of Fame while eventually the other guy will wind up in prison for a violent felony. The NFL is spending millions trying to punish the guy going to Canton Ohio. Just remember that the next time Roger Goodell uses the word "integrity".

Tuesday, November 03, 2015


The rumors are out there for a new Deadwood movie. Count me as unimpressed. Not only do I not think the logistics will work out to align all the stars for a movie - I'm not sure even as a big Deadwood fan that I want it to happen.

Can you think of any series or movie that was resurrected after 10 or so years that was satisfying or successful? The whole thing makes me think it would be a flop somewhere between Rescue from Gilligan's Island to Godfather III.  Sure there have been a few science fiction franchises like Star Wars, Aliens and Terminator that have been able to take breaks from the storyline but Deadwood is based upon historical characters. Do you want to see Seth Bullock talk about alfalfa farming? Me neither. Although I do admit a Teddy Roosevelt story line would be interesting but how would that involve Al Swearengen?

I think I'm just going to enjoy my re-runs on HBO Go.

Albert Einstein and the Theory of Relativity

The Theory of Relativity just turned 100 years old. In the video above uber biographer Walter Isaacson explains the Theory of Relativity in under 3 minutes.

Also - here are 12 things you may not know about the Theory of Relativity.

Sunday, November 01, 2015

Mount Whoredom

Long before Archer had Whore Island there was an actual Mount Whoredom.

Prostitution was so rampant in Boston in the 1770's that a British military cartographer marked the red light district in Boston as Mount Whoredom. The American troops surrounding Boston back then may have been short of military dress and ammunition but they were drinking about a bottle of rum a day - apiece. Viva the American way!

This may be one of those historical facts that only twisted minds like mine find interesting.

Business Plan 59 of 317

I think I'd like to come out with a line of generic vodka and generic gin. I'm going to call it "Borg Vodka" and "Borg Gin". The tag line will be "We will assimilate you!"

Just the sales to Star Trek fans will make the company turn a profit.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Halloween Linky Links

Halloween stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share. Remember with Great Pumpkin comes great responsibility.

- Heh heh - this year's most controversial costume

- 666 Update

- The slutty witch costume is nothing new

- Best parents ever!

The Devil's Footprints

Since today is Halloween I thought I'd bring up the Devil's Footprints - one of the strangest phenomenons in history:
On the night of the 8th of February 1855, heavy snowfall blanketed the countryside and small villages of Southern Devon [England]. The last snow is thought to have fallen around midnight, and between this time and around 6.00 am the following morning, something (or some things) left a myriad of tracks in the snow, stretching for a hundred miles or more, from the River Exe, to Totnes on the river Dart.

The early risers were the first to find them, strange hoof-shaped prints in straight lines, passing over rooftops, through walls and covering huge areas of land. A set of the prints were even supposed to have bridged a two mile span of the river Exe, continuing on the other side as if the creature had walked over the water.
Freaky stuff with no rational explanation - I find that stuff fascinating.

Happy Halloween.

Friday, October 30, 2015


Grantland was shut down today by ESPN. This was a move you could see coming a mile away yet the Internet was abuzz today with the gnashing of metaphorical teeth. This opinion may be unpopular but I won't miss Grantland. Yes I feel awful for the writers, editors and others who lost their jobs today but I'm guessing Disney is handling out pretty generous separation packages.

ESPN's first foray into smart sports writing was 15-years ago with Page 2. They fielded an all-star line-up of Ralph Wiley, Hunter S. Thompson, David Halberstam and a young Bill Simmons. Ralph Wiley and Hunter S. Thompson passed away. David Halberstam lost his enthusiasm for writing about sports after 9/11. That left just Simmons.

He was a hot property and he felt ESPN did a poor job with Page 2 so he leveraged his contract negotiations with the World-Wide Leader to let him create Grantland. His vision was to create a place where young hot writers could write what they wanted about sports and culture. He brought in and nurtured some very talented writers - that cannot be denied. But the problem was too much hipsterism. In many cases these hot young writers seemed to be writing to impress each other (and Simmons) instead of the general sports-loving public. The page views for Grantland just weren't there. The site wasn't close to being as successful as Deadspin or The Big Lead - but that was OK with the Grantland staff because they looked down their noses at those base sites that catered to the unwashed masses.

I was a regular at Grantland for a while but mostly for articles by Simmons or Charlie Pierce. Once Simmons was let go - I basically just read Pierce's brain droppings at the site (and I'm guessing Charlie will be just fine after today). Sure I gave many other Grantland writers a chance but to be honest I found most of their articles pretentious. Sorry - that's just my honest opinion.

Today many people are comparing the closing of Grantland to the similar fate of The National. No offense but this is like comparing the 27 Yankees to the 1987 Pawtucket Red Sox. Ironically Grantland did a great job of chronicling "The Greatest Paper that Ever Died".

Bill Simmons' hands are not clean with today's closing either. His understandable wish to get some measure of revenge on ESPN played a part in today's shuttering of Grantland (a situation Deadspin did a nice job of describing).

So Grantland has closed it's doors today. But it honestly won't be missed by me.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

How 'bout 'dem Patriots!... Very cool - the Boston Bruins dressed as minions for sick kids... Fantasy football question of the week - who should I start at QB? Peyon Manning or Brett Favre? At least with Favre there isn't the risk of negative points... Should there be an asterisk next to last year's Colts team? The asterisk would say - this team was a fluke... Could you have had a better omen that last night was going to be all Patriots?... William, Shakespeare, perhaps the greatest writer of all-time, was married to a woman who could neither read nor write... So the line for the Patriots vs Washington next week has to be at least -14 - right?... Heh heh... I am torn by this - people who hand out full size candy bars at Halloween are the coolest but isn't that too much sugar for kids?... Chris Mortensen is reporting that 11 of 12 people who made DeflateGate a thing are now getting clobbered by karma...

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- If you are a Doctor Who fan - this is pretty cool.

- Godspeed in retirement Abby Wambach

- I know I shouldn't laugh at something like this because sexless Christian marriages are a problem and nothing is funny about the situation to the men (and women) who find themselves in such marriages but.... the part about having sex with your wife like she's Medusa (so you don't have to look at her face) had me laughing out loud.

- Shame on our Republic - A Million Homes Taken Since Kelo

- Very cool move by John Stockton

- The Dougie Hamilton trade is looking better and better for the Bruins

- Agincourt at 600

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Brady Bunch Conundrum

I blame the show The Brady Bunch for today's societal problems.

Why were Carol and Mike single in the first place? This is an unresolved problem

What happened to their original spouses? It's like the mother of the boys and the father of the girls never existed. Did they die and were so easily forgotten? Was there a divorce? If so - how come the kids never went to visit the other parent? Did the mother of the boys and the father of the girls just run away? Was there abuse? Was that why the other parents were never mentioned? The family's little secrets? 

Maybe Mike and Carol killed their original spouses so that they could be together. The Brady parents fit the bill for serial killers. Quiet - kept to themselves. Was Sam the butcher involved in the disposal of the bodies?

When you look back on it - the complete lack of other parents in the show is very creepy.