Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Is there any sports story less interesting than what the Washington Football Team is planning for their new team name? Seriously who cares. Although I do think it would be hilarious if they chose the Washington Caucasians... Did Justin Timberlake ever succeed in his quest to bring sexy back?  As an aside wouldn't a TV show called Bringing Sexy Back with Justin Timberlake be cool? Justin could interview sex symbols from the past or do profiles of sex symbols that have since passed. I'd watch that show... Homeschooling Goes Boom. We are witnessing a real-time revolution in education. If these parents vote as a block then any politician supporting public funds going directly to parents instead of school systems will be very successful in 2022 elections... On a related note - I feel that future generations may look back on the seeming requirement of anyone in education to be a liberal Democrat the way we look back on 18th century schools and universities requiring all staff be Christians to maintain their postings. That was the number one requirement much more important than competence. History does rhyme... 

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

-  The best Western movies ever made. Every Clint Eastwood "Man with No Name" movie should have been on the list.

- SOAP was such a great and under-rated show.

- Posted without comment

- Good news?

- Jordan Peterson on writing

- The Gift of Grace

- Why I'm Losing Trust in the Institutions. The CDC and the WHO have proven to hot garbage.

The Peanut Friends TV Show

Here's an idea for a TV show - take the format of the show Friends (including opening song and everything) but instead of the cast of Friends you'd have a real-life grown up versions of Charles Schulz' Peanuts characters.

Instead of a coffee shop - most of the action would take place at a piano bar with Schroeder being the "piano man". Lucy van Pelt, despite having a Ph. D in psychology, is the hostess at the piano bar restaurant (just to be close to Schroeder). Each week Lucy could give an psychoanalysis of whatever issue one of the gang is dealing with. Sort of a running gag. Schroeder could insist everyone call him "maestro" as a Seinfeld shout-out.

Charlie Brown's sister Sally could be played by a blonde hottie and the character would be sort of a slut. His best friend, Linus van Pelt could be played by one of The Big Bang actors who could geek slap big sister Lucy any time one of her on the spot psychoanalytical diagnosis makes no logical sense.

Peppermint Pattie and Marcie would, of course, be lesbians. Maybe Sue Lynch for Pattie and KD Lang for Marcie? Pig Pen could be a recovering drug addict. How could this not work?

And for Charlie Brown - I picture a bald Bill Burr or a younger version of Paul Giamatti. I would seriously watch this show if it were ever made.

All in the Family (Redux)

So there's going to be a live show of both Norman Lear's All in the Family and also of The Jeffersons.  Count me as being not interested.

There is a version of an All in the Family re-make that I would be interested in seeing. In my version Mike and Gloria stayed together (on the original show they got divorced). Mike Stivic (played by Rob Reiner) became a professor at a local Queens college but he's having issues.

First off Mike and Gloria (played by Sally Struthers) have both now put on so much weight that they need to get around on scooters. Second, Mike's 70's hippy-ethics are no longer in tune with today's woke students and he finds himself getting into trouble at the college for voicing his opinions. Mike can't believe he's getting in hot water simply stating what he believes to be the truth (echoes of Archie). And he's really worried about being fired before his pension kicks in.

Finally, their daughter has grown up to be a Tea Party Republican who supports Trump.

The comedy would basically write itself. That's a remake I'd take the time to watch.

The Peanut Friends TV Show

Here's an idea for a TV show - take the format of the show Friends (including opening song and everything) but instead of the cast of Friends you'd have a real-life grown up versions of Charles Shulz' Peanuts characters.

Instead of a coffee shop - most of the action would take place at a piano bar with Schroeder being the "piano man". Lucy van Pelt, despite having a Ph. D in psychology, is the hostess at the piano bar restaurant (just to be close to Schroeder). Each week Lucy could give an psychoanalysis of whatever issue one of the gang is dealing with. Sort of a running gag. Schroeder could insist everyone call him "maestro" as a Seinfeld shout-out.

Charlie Brown's sister Sally could be played by a blonde hottie and the character would be sort of a slut. His best friend, Linus van Pelt could be played by one of The Big Bang actors who could geek slap big sister Lucy any time one of her on the spot psychoanalytical diagnosis makes no logical sense.

Peppermint Pattie and Marcie would, of course, be lesbians. Maybe Sue Lynch for Pattie and KD Lang for Marcie? Pig Pen could be a recovering drug addict. How could this not work?

And for Charlie Brown - I picture a bald Bill Burr or a younger version of Paul Giamatti. I would seriously watch this show if it were ever made.

The Last Episode of MASH

On this date in 1983 - the last episode on MASH was aired. I missed it. And I have never seen it since.

I had to work that night in 1983 at my first "real" job. Sure I had paper routes and a job as a busboy before but my job at Arby's was my first job with a real paycheck that took out taxes and everything. I was kinda bummed at missing the show because I knew everyone would be talking about it but there were so many articles the next day that I knew every plot turn anyway. Father Mulchahy deaf - check. Klinger married - check. Hawkeye crazy - check. See no need to ever watch it.

When Wayne Rogers left - he took the funny with him. All that was left was "preachy" and even at my tender age in 1983 - I was all full up on preachy. Still am.

The Brady Bunch Conundrum

I blame the show The Brady Bunch for today's societal problems.

Why were Carol and Mike single in the first place? This is an unresolved problem

What happened to their original spouses? It's like the mother of the boys and the father of the girls never existed. Did they die and were so easily forgotten? Was there a divorce? If so - how come the kids never went to visit the other parent? Did the mother of the boys and the father of the girls just run away? Was there abuse? Was that why the other parents were never mentioned? The family's little secrets? 

Maybe Mike and Carol killed their original spouses so that they could be together. The Brady parents fit the bill for serial killers. Quiet - kept to themselves. Was Sam the butcher involved in the disposal of the bodies?

When you look back on it - the complete lack of other parents in the show is very creepy.

The Peanut Friends TV Show

Here's an idea for a TV show - take the format of the show Friends (including opening song and everything) but instead of the cast of Friends you'd have a real-life grown up versions of Charles Shulz' Peanuts characters.

Instead of a coffee shop - most of the action would take place at a piano bar with Schroeder being the "piano man". Lucy van Pelt, despite having a Ph. D in psychology, is the hostess at the piano bar restaurant (just to be close to Schroeder). Each week Lucy could give an psychoanalysis of whatever issue one of the gang is dealing with. Sort of a running gag. Schroeder could insist everyone call him "maestro" as a Seinfeld shout-out.

Charlie Brown's sister Sally could be played by a blonde hottie and the character would be sort of a slut. His best friend, Linus van Pelt could be played by one of The Big Bang actors who could geek slap big sister Lucy any time one of her on the spot psychoanalytical diagnosis makes no logical sense.

Peppermint Pattie and Marcie would, of course, be lesbians. Maybe Sue Lynch for Pattie and KD Lang for Marcie? Pig Pen could be a recovering drug addict. How could this not work?

And for Charlie Brown - I picture a younger version of Paul Giamatti. I would seriously watch this show if it were ever made.

Justified Season Five

It's been a couple of weeks since the final episode of Justified's fifth season and I just wanted to comment on what was by consensus the weakest season of a great show.

There were two main issues with this season. First Daryl Crowe Jr. and his clan just did not match up to the level of badassness of Bo Crowder, Mags Bennett or Robert Quarles from previous seasons. It's a given that those three represent three of the "best" heavies in modern TV drama history so it was a tough bar to match to begin with but Michael Rapaport never rose above a certain cartoonishness in my eyes. It was tough to root for or against him. I just didn't care that much.

The second issue was the storyline of Ava Crowder in jail. Once again - I just didn't care that much. Honestly I would have much preferred that most of her screen time instead be spent with Raylan indulging in his ice cream habit or random barroom singing acts (like season 3's Jack and Coke scene).

The good news is next season seems to be lined up pretty nicely with the final showdown of Raylan versus Boyd Cowder. Looking forward to it!

NFL Tug of War

Here's an idea that I think would be a smash. Have a tug of war tournament between NFL teams. The offense and defensive linemen would be the stars giving them recognition usually reserved to skill players and a big portion of the TV rights could go to the health benefits of retired players in need. A big win-win for everyone involved.

And it would be a ton of fun to watch.

Imagine a tug of war set up so that the losing team goes tumbling into a pond or some other body of water. Imagine fun player profiles between contests. Imagine getting these NFL fixes during the off-season when people like me are Jonesing for anything football related.

All 32 NFL teams would be represented and there would be 4 tug of war matches per half hour show - except for the finals which would be a best of 3 affair. Winners advance and losers go home. That's 16 shows. Play 2 shows per week for an hour worth of low cost content and you have two months worth of NFL content between the Super Bowl and the NFL Draft.

Wouldn't you watch something like this?

Justified Question

I love the show Justified and have thoroughly enjoyed this season which revolves around the mystery of who is Drew Thompson? The answer to that question was revealed in this week's show but since then a question about the plot has been bothering me.

The whole - who is Drew Thompson question got set in motion by Arlo Givens trying to retrieve a diplomatic bag with Waldo Truth's license which was hidden in a wall of Arlo's home. Here's what's bothering me:

A: If Arlo just left the bag alone - none of this happens and Arlo would still be alive. If a new owner of the house did some construction and found the bag - it would have little or no significance to them. Why take the risk to retrieve the bag?

B: Why did Arlo keep the bag in the first place? He knew who Drew Thompson was. He didn't need the license.

C: What was the significance of the diplomatic bag? Was this a secret that died with Arlo?

The show normally does a nice job tying up loose ends and on details (for example Adam Arkin has always had mismatched eyes with one looking like it could be glass even though it was only revealed that Drew Thompson shot Theo Tonin in the eye this season). Why did they leave this loose end hanging? Or did I miss something?

Justified

I love the show Justified. I was a fan from the very first time I saw the commercial for the new show. The writing, the dialog and the action on the show are all top notch but one factor that really makes me love the show is the various actors who populate the world of Harlan County who have played roles in two of my other favorite shows - Deadwood and Band of Brothers.

Deadwood veterans:
Timothy Olyphant is the star of Justified and was of course Sheriff Seth Bullock.
Jim Beaver plays Shelby and on Deadwood he was Ellsworth. Beaver seems to specialize in characters with just one name.
Brent Sexton was the dirty Sheriff from Season 1 and he played Harry Manning the bartender at Tom Nuttall's saloon.
The excellent Stephen Tobolowski plays FBI agent Barkley and was also Yankton's man Yugo Jarry.
W. Earl Brown had a memorable episode in Season 1 where he played Cal Wallace a dangerous prisoner. Of course he was also Dan Dority on Deadwood.
Sean Bridgers also had a stand-alone episode in Season 1 and he was Dan Dority's sidekick at the Gem - Johnny Burns.
Ray McKinnon was memorable as hitman Mr. Duke in Season 1 but he'll always be epilepsy sufferer Reverend Smith to me.
Pruitt Taylor Vince was an amusing Harlan roulette playing Glen Fogle and equally amusing Mose Manuel.
Peter Jason who was Con Stapelton on Deadwood played Owen Carnes in one episode in Season 1. I honestly don't recall him on Justified.
Clay Wilcox played a loudmouth drunk who cussed at Wild Bill and he was the drug dealer with the Samurai sword in Justified. He's actually the reason I put together the list. I saw him and thought "where do I know him from?" It was then I realized just how many Deadwood and Band of Brothers veterans were on the show. 

Band of Brothers veterans:
Neal McDonough is psycho carpetbagger Robert Quarles and was Buck Compton.
Rick Gomez is ADA David Vazquez and who played Sgt. George Luz.
Richard Speight Jr. plays one of Dickie's flunkies and in Band of Brothers he was Warren "Skip" Muck.
Frank John Hughes played a criminal in the witness relocation program and was also Wild Bill Guarnere.
David Andrews plays Sheriff Napier and he also had brief role as the General who interviews Major Winters and who tells him his men have earned the right to keep him around.

I may be missing a couple of actors but you have to admit that's a lot of crossover from those two shows on Justified.

I know that there is also a lot of Sons of Anarchy veterans but while that show is very good - it is not in the class of Deadwood or Band of Brothers.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Ha ha - I haven't watched a single episode of The Killing. That puts me just as close to knowing who killed Rosie as someone who spent every Sunday watching every episode of the show. WINNING!!... Very cool story. UK Marine leaves £100k to buddies for Vegas holiday. David Hart seems like he was one hell of a guy. The world is a poorer place for losing him... In 1892 Benjamin Harrison became the 1st President of the United States to attend a baseball game. Jack McKeon managed one of the teams... The Six Million Dollar Man was on air for 101 episodes and I watched it all the time - yet today I can't recall the plot to even one show... The Go-Go's had a hit with 1981's Our Lips are Sealed. For the longest time I thought they were singing "Honored to see you". When I hear the song today I cannot for the life of me understand how I made that mistake... Davis Love III has a commercial for Dove Soap where he mentions he once had a lemonade stand but drank the profits. John Daly had similar commercial but for Hooters... Quote for the day: George Bernard Shaw when asked to name a deceased man he missed the most said, "The man I miss most is the man I could have been"... This will always be my favorite painting of Obama... I think that every non-appointed lawyer in the Justice Dept should have to pass the bar exam every 6-years or lose their jobs. Lawyers who can't pass a bar exam have no business in Justice Dept determining what is and is not important law. This change would also help weed out those trying to become permanent un-elected policy makers... Some sabermatrician should figure out a new adjusted OPS+ by removing players found to have used steroids or admitted to steroids use. Just take them out of the numbers altogether. Better to have them gone then to have them distorting the numbers of players who didn't cheat... I feel dirty for even writing this but Johnny Damon is just 9 hits away from passing Ted Williams on the all-time list... Baseball-Reference.com says that one of nicknames for Lou Gehrig was "biscuit pants". There has to be a pretty good story behind that...

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Did you know that the first professional baseball player was Jewish? His name was Lipman Pike - you can look it up... Gene Hackman was original choice of the show's producers to play Mr. Brady on The Brady Bunch but the studio insisted on Robert Reed... The chief Norse God Odin had two ravens who sat on his shoulders - one was Hugin (Thought) and the other was Munin (Memory). They flew around the world of men to inform Odin of goings on... Did you know that Ted Knight was the narrarator on the Super Friends?... I think I'd rather have hot wax dripped on my genitals than watch the new CBS "comedy" Mike & Molly - seriously - hot wax on my balls... Did you know that Sarah Holcomb who played Maggie in Caddyshack also played the underage girl who gets pregnant in Animal House?... Robert Redford was in a movie called Havana and it wasn't half bad - Sean Connery was in a movie called Cuba that wasn't half good...

Linky Links

Some stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- I would definitely vote for this guy if I lived in Alabama (maybe the best political ad I've ever seen)

- Wow - just wow! Where do we find such men?

- Funny beer commercial

- Cool - lost TV pilots

- Amazing Japanese water fountain