Stinky

The other day I compared Kyle Korver to Eric Stolz in Mask. That brought this response from old SportsPages.com buddy John McQurk:

Thank you for the Kyle Korver/Mask reference. Certainly more novel than the Ashton Kutcher thing. Believe it or not, I have a frat brother (who's still a friend) whose nickname when he was pledging was "Mask," because he had a long face and wavy hair. I'm not sure I've ever heard a worse nickname.

Sorry John but I have heard of a worse nickname.

In my pledge class at my frat we had this kid John who had acne, greasy hair and a heart condition. The brothers were afraid of cutting this kid because they thought they'd be sued and they were afraid of hazing him because of his heart condition. So while the rest of us pledges had to do push-ups - John would sit there and watch us.

One night the frat had a big party and a couple of alums came to drink some beer. When one of the alums heard that John was going to be a brother - he exclaimed "that stinks!" And the nickname Stinky was born.

Both Mask and Stinky are pretty bad nicknames but I think what puts Stinky over the top is "the Stinky Claw".

John couldn't handle his beer and when he had a few he got both easily drunk and horny. At parties if a girl would speak with him - he'd put his arm around her shoulder and refuse to let go. For a kid with such a slight build - he had a Stinky Claw grip of steele. It was amusing to see a horrified sorority girl try to release herself from the Stinky Claw. It was just as amusing to watch a girl make the mistake of making eye contact or speak with Stinky and get the Claw put on her for her trouble.

Don't even get me started on the kid we called "the Squid".

For the record - my nickname was (and still is) a very boring "Lynchy".