J Edgar Hoover on Spygate

A Large Regular was very lucky in landing an exclusive interview with former FBI Director J Edgar Hoover. To be upfront - the interview was granted on the premise that all questions would be about Bill Belichick and "Spygate" and no questions would be made about Hoover's private life.

ALR: First off, thank you so much Mr. Director for agreeing to this interview. I understand it is the first interview you have granted since May of 1972.

JEH: Glad to be here Chris.

ALR: Can you give us your impressions on Bill Belichick and Spygate?

JEH: I admire Bill Belichick and his organizational skills greatly. Most people don't realize it but my first real job was at the Library of Congress as a cataloger. I know it is very important for people at the top of their professions to keep detailed records of their employees and especially their opponents. Being a detailed oriented person myself - I cannot help but applaud Belichick and the Patriots for their attention to any detail they think will help them be successful. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who has more appreciation of the value of a well cataloged file on enemies than me. Oh did I say enemies? I meant opponents.

ALR: So do you think Bill Belichick did something wrong?

JEH: Of course he did something wrong - he got caught. And may I add that he did it at the worst possible time - just at the beginning of a new administration. Boy I know that feeling. Belichick had the poor judgment to get caught at the beginning of Roger Goodell's tenure as Commissioner. It was just like when I was FBI Director and those Kennedy boys swept into office. Do you think they never cheated? They really wanted to get their hands on my files but I kept my head down and outlasted them. Then LBJ and Nixon came into office and those guys knew how to play ball - besides I had files on those two going way back. Belichick couldn't keep his head down and now Goodell's got all his files and tapes. I feel bad for him but it was his own fault getting caught.

ALR: So you are OK with him taping opponents signals. Its the sloppiness of getting caught that bothers you?

JEH: Listen - for the longest time the FBI had the public stance that the Mafia was a myth. Privately everyone in the FBI knew they existed and we were working to combat them. Then the Kennedy administration sweeps in and suddenly the Mafia becomes public and a priority. You have to be pretty naive to not acknowledge that almost every team in the NFL keeps secret files on signal calling by their opponents. Those that don't usually end up every year with high draft picks if you get my drift.

ALR: So you don't like the fact that Belichick got caught and that the NFL's "dirty little secret" was aired publicly? Is that correct? Is there any other aspect that bothers you?

JEH: Now that you mention it there is one other thing to comment on. Many of the same reporters who are crucifying Belichick are the same guys who love to make football as war analogies. Football is not war but if you are going to make those comparisons - what would you say about a general who did not try to do get us much intelligence information on the enemy as possible? Every general from George Washington to George Patton used spies. Of course back in my day the reporters used to root for our generals. Today they seem more inclined to do their damnedest to drag them down.

ALR: What about Eric Mangini and his role in this affair?

JEH: Mangini's a rat. You can't trust rats. Mangini got a kick out of being on that Soprano's show but to me he'll always be Big Pussy to Belichick's Tony Soprano.

ALR: Thank you so much for your time.

JEH: You're welcome Chris. Hey did anyone every tell you that you're a pretty handsome guy?