The Burger King Mascot Has It His Way

The morning began like any other morning. I went to the front porch to get the paper but when I opened the door I noticed what looked like a ceramic garden gnome wearing a crown in my driveway. I bent down to pick up the paper and when I stood back up there was this 6'5" being with a giant paper mache head made to look like a king standing not 2 feet from me.

In his right hand he was holding a silver tray and on this tray was a delicious looking breakfast sandwich. He gently pushed the tray in my direction to indicate that this sandwich was for me. Like a fool I took the bait.

With both hands I took the sandwich and then I took a bite. Just for a moment did I close my eyes to savor the taste of this morning treat.

That's when he put the ether rag over my nose and mouth.

I awoke laying on my stomach in the hospital. The nurse explained that it had taken 65 stitches to sew up my anus. I had been anal raped by the Burger King mascot!

I must admit that it was a good sandwich though.