Iowa Caucus 2020

I am still obsessed with the idea of running for President in 2020. It's not like I have a burning desire for politics or a giant ego that needs to be stroked. It's just that I'm pretty sure I could do better than Martin O'Malley's 0.6% of the vote he got in 2016.

Seriously - you should be able to convince enough strangers to vote for you as a favor or as a joke to do better than 0.6% of the vote. My real goal would be to fall between the 1.8% Mike Huckabee got and the 4.5% Rand Paul got. That should be enough votes to earn at least a single delegate. Me and that lucky delegate would party our asses off at the National Convention.

My platform would be simple and straightforward. "I'm a regular guy running for office because I want to send the message of bringing common sense and fairness back to politics." That's my whole platform. Oh - and I would always ask for the order. I would shake people's hand, look them in the eye and not let go until they promised to vote for me come caucus day.

The federal regulations allow a candidate to pay themselves the same salary as the office they are seeking. So I could potentially pay myself up to $400,000 for running for President. Time to line up some heavy duty sponsors!

Lynch 2020. I have to start working on the bumper stickers.