Thursday, July 09, 2020

Public Service Announcement

I read a study once where the experts explained that putting ice cubes up the rectums of unconscious people has no physiological benefit and can even lead to seizures and stroke. Of course I laughed at such a silly study. And the more I thought about it – the funnier I thought it was.

After thinking about it for a while I came to the unmistakable conclusion that men were completely responsible for such a thing. In order for the study to be done in the first place people must have been putting ice cube up the butts of unconscious people. Who would do such a thing? Men!  A woman would never see an unconscious person and think – “Instead of calling an ambulance for help I think I will jam a large ice cube up the ass to see if that wakes the person up.” Say that to a guy and the chances are his response would be, “What the heck – give it a shot.”

And who would design and OK the spending for such a dumb study? Men! Do you think they told the test subjects what the study was all about? “OK we are going to knock you unconscious and then place ice cubes of different sizes up your rectum.” How would you like to be the test subject that ended up having a stroke because you needed the $50 the experiment paid? 


  1. I began a 38-year career in Emergency Services during the late 1970’s. Early on, it was fairly common for us to arrive on the scene of a suspected drug overdose and to see a pile of ice on the guys crotch ( I don’t recall it ever being tried on a woman). The rationale being that if that doesn’t wake him up, it’s best to call the ambulance. I don’t recall ever seeing (or hearing about, except reports about parties in the East Village) ice being inserted, or the application of ice for anything besides a suspected drug overdose. But hey, I lived a sheltered life 😊

  2. My brother was a paramedic and the tales of what can and does get lodged up there was always both funny and unbelievable.