The Fever Pitch Theory

I have a theory on the Red Sox / Yankees series. In a nutshell my theory says that the Red Sox are going to win this series because they are making a movie about it.

The movie Fever Pitch is being filmed as we speak. The movie stars Jimmy Fallon (from SNL fame) and is a remake of an English movie that was about soccer and the Arsenal "football" team in particular. In the movie, Arsenal didn't finish in second place - so why should the Red Sox come up just short in winning the American League Pennant?

Think of the drama that's been building here. The beloved Red Sox are down 3 games to none to the hated Yankees. Jimmy Fallon's character loses hope and questions his life-long allegiance to a team that always lets him down. The Red Sox win one game and there is a ray of hope. Fallon's girl friend (Drew Barrymore) tells him that he has to believe. The Red Sox win a second game and the series moves back to New York where the team's ace comes back from injury to pitch the team to a dramatic game six win. In game seven the improbable comeback is complete and the Red Sox move on to the World Series.

In the script, Jimmy Fallon's character also becomes complete after the win as years of heartbreak are washed away and the character can now see that his life and the fortunes of the Red Sox are not truly tied together. Fallon decides to make his own happiness and marries Barrymore's skanky character.

This just has to happen because it has already been scripted.

(Of course and alternate ending would have Fallon's character go to Yankee Stadium for the dramatic game 7 only to watch the Red Sox lose and Fallon's character gets the snot beat out of him after the game when he inadvertently stumbles into a lesbian bar full of Yankee fans.)

Some miscellaneous notes from last nights game:

- 14 innings and 5:49 - the only word to describe this game is exhausting. I went straight to bed after Ortiz's hit. I keep thinking that even if the Yankees won - they wouldn't have the energy left to pop a cork in celebration.

- OK - this has really been bothering me. Has anyone else seen that bottle in the Red Sox dugout? You know the one I'm talking about. The water bottle that has had the label taken off and instead of water - it is now 2/3's full with a yellow liquid that to my mind is probably urine. Have you seen this bottle? This bottle has been there for all three games and it's starting to get to me.

- Manny Ramirez is hitting .333 for the series with a .462 OBP but his SLG is only .381 - if the Red Sox are to win they will need more than singles and walks from Manny.

- Besides David Ortiz - the Red Sox line-up has been pretty quiet. If the Yankees treated Ortiz the way the National League treats Barry Bonds (intentional walks) - then the Yankees would be resting up to see who they play in the World Series right now.

- The Red Sox never bunting really came back and bit them in the ass tonight.

- Mariano Rivera is toast for tonight's game. If it is close and Rivera gets into the game - look for the Red Sox to light him up.

- My loathing for the sound of Tim McCarver's voice grows every day.

- I love Tim Wakefield. Man what a great performance last night. I had full confidence in Wakefield. It was like he could have gone another 6 innings without a run. Timmeh!