If I Were Rich and Famous

If I were rich and famous I would buy tickets to all the top sporting events and sit in very TV friendly locations. But I wouldn't go as myself - I would go dressed as a Scary Clown and I would sit emotionless for the entire game. You know the TV crews and announcers would have to put you on screen because it would be creeping them out.

Basically the creepy version of Rainbow Head Guy.

Then after a season of people wondering - who is Scary Clown Guy? You sell the rights to unveil who is under the mask during half-time of the Super Bowl for an unreal amount of money. I don't care who the half-time act is - people would be tuning in for the unveiling of Scary Clown Guy.

Then the mask is removed and it's - GASP! - Will Ferrell!

And people would ask him to put the mask back on.

Just Saying

I'm just saying but if you Google "Jeffrey Dahmer cannibal" you get about 128,000 hits.

If you Google "Harry Reid pedophile" you get about the same number of hits (if you include "Harry Reid pederast" it's over 141,500 hits).