If I Were Rich and Famous

If I were rich and famous I would buy tickets to all the top sporting events and sit in very TV friendly locations. But I wouldn't go as myself - I would go dressed as a Scary Clown and I would sit emotionless for the entire game. You know the TV crews and announcers would have to put you on screen because it would be creeping them out.

Basically the creepy version of Rainbow Head Guy.

Then after a season of people wondering - who is Scary Clown Guy? You sell the rights to unveil who is under the mask during half-time of the Super Bowl for an unreal amount of money. I don't care who the half-time act is - people would be tuning in for the unveiling of Scary Clown Guy.

Then the mask is removed and it's - GASP! - Will Ferrell!

And people would ask him to put the mask back on.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- I'm a biased Red Sox fan but I think Luis Tiant belongs in the Hall of Fame. If Catfish Hunter is in el Tiante should be in too.

- Very cool. A ladybug taking flight.

- Army tests new super-soldier exoskeleton

- We will need these exoskeletons in the upcoming robot wars

- I've long been fascinated with "Rainbow Head Guy"

- Interesting court case to decide the privacy of the data on your cell phone (or connected device).

- Ben Franklin - the 13 necessary virtues. Good life advice then - good advice now.

If I Were Rich and Famous

If I were rich and famous I would buy tickets to all the top sporting events and sit in very TV friendly locations. But I wouldn't go as myself - I would go dressed as a Scary Clown and I would sit emotionless for the entire game. You know the TV crews and announcers would have to put you on screen because it would be creeping them out.

Basically the creepy version of Rainbow Head Guy.

Then after a season of people wondering - who is Scary Clown Guy? You sell the rights to unveil who is under the mask during half-time of the Super Bowl for an unreal amount of money. I don't care who the half-time act is - people would be tuning in for the unveiling of Scary Clown Guy.

Then the mask is removed and it's - GASP! - Will Ferrell!

And people would ask him to put the mask back on.

Bill Simmons - A Modest Proposal

Here's a modest proposal for what Bill Simmons should do during his forced 3-week vacation from all things ESPN - he should go full Rainbow Head Guy (well not full, full Rainbow Head Guy since that would entail doing Angel dust and taking a hotel maid hostage). What I'm suggesting is that Simmons use the 3-weeks and his Platinum Visa card to go to as many televised sporting events as possible. Wear the Rainbow Head Guy wig to make it impossible to miss him in any crowd. Get the announcers to say, "Hey is that Bill Simmons?" How great would that be as a not so subtle middle finger to his suspension?  Go to a Saturday college football game, Derek Jeter's final game at Fenway Sunday, Monday Night Pats vs Chiefs, etc, etc. He could bring Cousin Sal with him and have a blast! He could wear a "Fire Goodell" T-shirt instead of John 3:16 - how great would that be?

ESPN couldn't even say anything! All Simmons would have to say is, "Hey I'm on vacation!"

So let it be written - so let it be done.

Paul Byrd to the Red Sox

The Red Sox today acquired Paul Byrd from the Cleveland Indians for a PTBNL or cash considerations. My head says this is a good move but my heart says, "Meh".

Paul Byrd is a guy I was high on back when he was with the Braves. I thought he would break through under Leo Mazzone's tutelage but he's remained basically an average pitcher who once and a while shines. My head knows he'll make a great 5th starter down the stretch.

My heart, however, looks at Paul Byrd and sees an After School Special of a way toned down Rainbowhead Guy. If you recall - Rainbowhead Guy was known for being at sporting events using his rainbow afro wig to get attention. Rainbow Head Guy turned his life over to Jesus and was then known for his John 3:16 signs. Then Rainbowhead Guy took some PCP at a hotel, held a cleaning lady hostage and had a standoff with the SWAT team. You haven't heard much from Rainbow Head Guy lately because he's doing life in prison.

Paul Byrd was known for being at sporting events (specifically baseball games every fifth day when he started when not injured). Then he turned his life over to Jesus and became known for admitting to an addiction to porn. Then he got caught doing drugs (HGH which was prescribed for him by his dentist). I'm just hoping the hostage and SWAT standoffs don't come to pass.

Maybe my mind is looking at Paul Byrd as Rainbow Head Jr. because I found him hypocritical in his denial of HGH use and condescending in his Jesus loves me attitude. Maybe I'm not welcoming him with open arms because I don't want to be a hypocrite myself.

I'll root for the laundry but when I look at Paul Byrd I'll still picture a guy wearing a rainbow colored afro wig.