Jon Heyman - Clueless Baseball Writer

It's official - Jon Heyman really doesn't have a clue about baseball. In his latest SI column, Heyman talks about seven trades that need to happen before the trade deadline. Let's take a look at them jut to prove the point that Heyman doesn't have a clue.

1. Scott Rolen to the Dodgers. Heyman seems to be suggesting a Andy LaRoche for Rolen deal. If that deal was done - Ned Colleti would be fired on the spot. Consider this:

- Rolen has 3-years and $36 million left on his contract and has an injury history. Colleti is still paying Bill Mueller's contract. Mueller is the last "name" 3rd baseman Colleti signed with an injury history.

- Heyman says that Rolen would be acquired for his power but as bad as Wilson Betemit has been for the Dodgers he has double the number of HR (4 to 2) in almost half the AB (78 to 129). Since hitting 34 HR in 500 AB in 2004 - a HR every 14.7 AB - Rolen has hit just 29 HR at an average of 1 HR every 29 AB.

- Andy LaRoche is the top rated prospect in the Dodger farm system according to Baseball America. LaRoche has been the starting 3rd baseman for the past couple of weeks and so far this season his OPS has been 204 points higher than what Rolen has posted this year. Rolen would be a down-grade at this point at the plate.

An Andy LaRoche trade for Scott Rolen would manage to make the Victor Zambrano for Scott Kazmir trade from a couple of years ago look good in comparison.

2. Garrett Atkins and Todd Helton to the Angels. Helton has a no-trade contract and has said he will not waive it during the season. Atkins has been struggling this season and is not a clear upgrade over either Shea Hillenbrand or Chone Figgens. As Daniel Kaffee would say, "Thank you for playing, 'Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid.'"

3. Chad Cordero to the Indians. Sure this trade makes sense but even Heyman points out that, "Nationals GM Jim Bowden likely will ask for the moon, anyway, so Cleveland may have to look elsewhere." That elsewhere may turn out to be Atlanta where Rafael Soriano has made Bob Wickman expendable.

4. Ken Griffey Jr. to the White Sox. Why would Griffey approve this trade? The White Sox aren't winning anything this year. Why would Griffey want to leave the comfort of his home town to play for Ozzie Guillen? Makes no sense.

5. Troy Glaus to the Tigers. Why would the Tigers take on Glaus' contract (he gets $12.5 million next year)? Offense is not a problem for the Tigers and why would the Tigers mess with the team chemistry by sitting either the popular Inge or Casey at the corners or the combustible Gary Sheffield at DH? Again - it makes no sense.

6. Al Reyes to the Brewers. So a 36-year old guy with 6 career saves going into this season is among the seven trades Jon Heyman thinks should be made? Jon - maybe you should have made this a list of six trades that need to happen.

7. Jon Rauch to the Red Sox. Maybe Heyman has never heard of the Larry Andersen for Jeff Bagwell trade. The Red Sox have a bad history about dealing prospects for middle relievers.

None of these trades make any sense. I get the feeling that if Jon Heyman was a zoologist that he's recommend the elephant trading his trunk for a duck-bill. Hey that trade makes as much sense as Scott Rolen for Andy LaRoche.