Ask ESPN.com's Page 2

Have a problem you just can't find a solution to? We've all been there, but why worry about it when all you need do to solve all your problems is Ask ESPN.com's Page 2?

Take a read as the sage wisdom flows from the collective wit and wisdom of the guys ESPN.com hired but really don't want people reading:

Dear Page 2:

When Page 2 first started it was great. You had Hunter S. Thompson, Bill Simmons and David Halberstam. Now its Bill Simmons and a bunch of guys who I've never heard of and who have never been in my kitchen. I guess my question is how did you guys manage to go from so good to so bad in such a short time period?
-- You Guys Really Suck

You Guys Really Suck

We have to disagree with your premise. Page 2 has simply evolved over the years. Sure we used to have big names in the past and lots of daily traffic but now its not uncommon for some of our stuff to have no byline. A collective effort if you will. We think that the quantity of writers on Page 2 more than makes up for the quality.
-- Page 2


Dear Page 2:

Talentless hacks with no sense of humor say what?
-- Flaming Page of Poo

Flaming Page of Poo

What?
-- Page 2
Dear Page 2;

I absolutely love your ongoing faux tribute to the great Andy Kaufman with your Jim Caple stunt. Andy used to go on stage and do really strange stuff that made no sense. He did it as his own private joke. At first I thought Jim Caple's writing was incredibly bad and that his humor was non-existent. Then I realized that he had to be doing this on purpose. I mean nobody could be that tone deaf to humor. Now you've staged Caple's disappearance (just like people think Andy staged his own death). Kudos for the "inside" joke.
-- Singing the Mighty Mouse Theme in Athens

Singing the Mighty Mouse Theme in Athens

We don't know what you are talking about. Jim Caple is a fine writer and he continues to write for us. In fact we consider his type of sense of humor the measuring stick for which all new hires are measured.
-- Page 2

Dear Page 2;

Why don't you guys keep Bill Simmons, fire everyone else and then use the money you save to buy Deadspin? I mean at least then you'll be relevant again.
-- Page 2 is So Unfunny

Page 2;

We really would prefer not to think about that idea.
-- Page 2

(The idea for this post came from this no by-line piece of crap I read this morning. Every time I read something from page 2 I get upset with myself for wasting that time which I'll never get back.)