My Friend Jim's Imaginary Friend

Imaginary friends are often a normal part of growing up. It is not unusual for children to have imaginary companions. It can be kinda cute. But when you are talking about a man nearing 40 having imaginary companions - well that's just kinda creepy.

Sure Jimmy Stewart was amusing with his 6 foot imaginary rabbit but Jack Torrance was less cuddly in The Shining. I'm reminded more of Jack Torrance because this week I was up at the Mount Washington Hotel which is eerily reminiscent of the hotel resort in The Shining.

What am I talking about? Well let me explain.

Tuesday after a fine dinner at the hotel my friend Jim and I went down to the hotel bar called "the Cave" located in the basement of the resort. Like most bars - it had a bathroom nearby. Nothing unusual about the bathroom at all. Or so I thought.

After a number of beers I had to use the facility. Nothing special. When Jim used the facility he came back talking about how strange it is to see a bathroom attendant in the restroom of a bar like the Cave. I saw no such bathroom attendant handing out paper towels but Jim gave such a vivid description of an older bald black man that I assumed that maybe the guy came on duty after I had used the urinal. However, the next time I used the bathroom - once again there was no bathroom attendant.

I came back and kidded Jim for his choice of imaginary friend. He could have picked anything but he picked a bathroom attendant to be his invisible companion? Jim swore that the guy was real and that the guy's name was Felix. I asked Jim if by chance Felix looked anything like Scatman Crothers?

The next time Jim went to the bathroom - there was Felix with paper towels in hand. Jim went to the use the urinal and while doing his business "let out an A-bomb that shook the bathroom stalls". By the time Jim zipped up. Felix the imaginary bathroom attendant was gone.

I guess vampires can't stand garlic and hotel ghosts can't stand the smell of Jim's farts. I don't blame them. They're like someone lit a bag of potato chips on fire using a whole can of lighter fluid.