Inside the Actors Studio



Welcome to this edition of Inside the Actors Studio where James Lipton (JL) inteviews Wally the Green Monster (WTGM)



JL: This is the questionaire that was invented by Abner Doubleday. Wally, what's your favorite word?
WTGM: It's Papi. Big Papi.
JL: What's your least favorite word?
WTGM: Dent. Bucky F'n Dent.
JL: In this whole wide world, of everything that's in it, what turns you on?
WTGM: Oh boy. Oh god... what turns me on, I mean... well... you know... stuff... what turns me on...
JL: Don't censor yourself.
WTGM: Well no, I mean there's like, you know, of course there's this thing, you know, beautiful women. You know, I mean, you'd think, you know, those are the obvious things... you know, like, that's good. And...
JL: Or Jerry Remy.
WTGM: Oh yeah, or Jerry Remy, yeah, yeah... But... What turns me on, I was thinking about that the other day, and you know, you know what turns me on in the way that I think that that question's about, is when you, and I mean this, is when all of a sudden you're just going through your day and like da-duh-duh-duh-da, you're here, there, you're everywhere, and all of sudden you run into somebody who's just like nice because they wanna be, and that's just like such a buzz, man. And it never happens.
JL: And if it turns out that she's a beautiful woman, then you've got it all.
WTGM: If she's a beautiful woman... [big smile]
JL: What turns you off?
WTGM: When people think they have the right to somehow let their baggage be your news. That and when Remy rubs my stomach for luck. That's wicked gay.
JL: What sound or noise to you love?
WTGM: Sometimes I'll have to pee and I have this bucket in the Green Monster wall that Manny sometimes uses too, well anyway, when the bucket is empty and you pee into it it makes this loud noise and coupled with the echoes you get inside the wall - well it sounds really loud and sometimes I'm sure that the people sitting in the Monster seats can hear me. Sometimes while I'm peeing I talk to myself. And it's not cool to talk to yourself, so I'll... hum. And that's what I think sounds kind of corny cuz it's very much... like a baby, I think. And then, all of sudden you're like hmmm hmmm hmmm... so, the... the humming to myself. A very pleasing sound.
JL: What sound or noise do you hate?
WTGM: Car alarms are the worst. I have one right outside my apartment, right now, that is just screaming...
JL: What's your favorite curse word?
WTGM: [bleep] you, you mother[bleep]er, you stupid [bleep]ing [bleep]sucker, shut the [bleep] up, right, something like that.
JL: What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
WTGM: Mime.
JL: What profession would you not like to participate in.
WTGM: Oh god, a critic.
JL: Finally, if heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
WTGM: Ted Williams wants to go fishing with you but first Marilyn Monroe wants to see you.