Carl Hiaasen is the Man

Hiaasen takes dead aim at the media orgy surrounding Anna Nicole Smith's death:

Scoff, if you will, at the hyperventilating TV coverage of the Smith case. You think it's easy trying to make Anna Nicole sound important enough to justify three minutes and twenty seconds of air time? That's a tough job, folks.

Here you've got this deceased person who had no discernible talent whatsoever, a pitiable and often incoherent soul who perished in a shabby and unoriginal way.

Yet, day after day, you must with all seriousness face the cameras and present Smith's demise (and its messy, freak-filled aftermath) as a matter of pressing significance.

How does such a forlorn cliché become elevated to major breaking news? Many journalism students are probably pondering the same riddle.

The answer isn't pretty. In a nutshell: Former Playboy centerfold turned rich widow turned reality-TV star suddenly dies, leaving an infant of uncertain paternity and a potential fortune up for grabs.

Story-wise, the angles are beauty, sex, money and greed -- classic tabloid ingredients and, now, a premium formula for mainstream media.

Hiaasen is among the best at turning a phrase in the newspaper business. I hope he keeps telling it like it is. The nation drowns in Anna Nicole coverage while stories like Bruce Crandall get shunted off to the back pages.