Heh Heh

A nice young woman on a flight from Switzerland said to the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair remover that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? ..Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvellous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." "Next!"

Heh Heh

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

The Celtics game almost made me sick last night. Seriously. I had to chew Tums during the whole 4th quarter. Between the Celtics blowing an 11-point lead, the awful offense of the Celtics late in the game, the questionable officials and the ABC announcers openly rooting for the Lakers - I thought I was going to throw-up... I don't see the resemblance either... Doc Rivers tried to keep the team fresh for the playoffs but in the end I think age caught up with the Celtics. There were no hops in Kevin Garnett's legs last night. None at all. He had creaky old knees last night. Ray Allen? When you get worn down your shot is one of the first things to suffer and his shooting was tired last night. Paul Pierce? How many drives to the basket did you see him finish by dunking the ball? I don't care what anyone says - the Celtics showed their age last night and their age didn't have enough left in the tank when it came to the 4th quarter last night... This story is just bizarre. Throwing a puppy at the Hells Angels and then stealing a bulldozer to get away? Bizarre... No team in the AL West has a winning record against teams above .500... Exactly how insane have big banks' risky gambles on derivatives gotten? Check out the jaw-dropping chart. That's scary stuff... One of George W Bush's least heralded accomplishments was the creation of the largest marine sanctuary in the world. Over 84 million acres the sanctuary is larger than 46 of our 50 states. I just bring this up for obvious reasons... World Cup Fever... Did you know that M&M's stands for "Mars & Murrie's," the last names of the candy's founders? I did not know that...

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- The world's first commercially available jetpack - I'm still waiting for the flying cars. I was promised flying cars.

- Captain Kirk and Enterprise crew encounter strangest alien they've ever seen

- Timeline of the Ali/Frazier "Fight of the Century."

- Heh Heh

- Tweet of the Day: @arthurpdent42 Chuck Norris once destroyed all the elements on the Periodic Table... because he only believes in the element of surprise

Heh Heh - Now We Know Why Obama Won't Release His School Records



HT Instapundit

Heh Heh

This is just too funny!

Heh Heh

This is awesome!

Seeking two tickets to the Dec. 2 UW mens' basektball game vs. Duke. Would prefer tickets somewhere in the lower level and near the team benches. I figure if I can get a seat close enough, I can at some point sneak down to the Duke bench, drop trou, and stick my hairy crack in Coach K's face. I've been wanting to do this for quite some time, so anyone who can help facilitate the dream on a budget would be most generous. I figure if there's one guy in the world who deserves to have a hairy, sweaty ass stuck in his face, it's Coach K. After all, he's been turning out team after team of cocky, whitebread under-achievers for the last two decades, and it's time someone showed him how the rest of the country feels about his brand of basketball.

HT Sportsfrog

Heh Heh

I love science humor.

I know I'll be telling the "host" joke sometime this weekend.

I'm a dweeb.

Heh Heh

Some of these are pretty funny. Here's a couple I liked:

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Fun Stuff

Here are some funny or interesting links to start your day.

Hobos used to use markings or signs to warn other hobos about danger or to clue them into good situations. Here is a sample of the Modern Hobo Code.

Anything in Legos is cool but when you combine Legos with the epic Mariner's Revenge sung by the Decemberists - well then you have something pretty cool.

Avoid this job - Data Entry Ninja

Cool animated GIF.

Heh Heh

These were pretty funny.

Heh Heh

Yup - this is exactly how I imagine pets too

The Pope and the Crossword Puzzle

The Pope is working on a crossword puzzle and asks his assistant, "Can you think of a four-letter word for 'one type of woman' that ends in u-n-t?"

"How about aunt?" says the assistant.

"Oh, yeah," says the Pope. "You got an eraser?"

Telly Savalas - If



Who love ya baby!

Heh Heh

Interesting story of a small investment firm getting the best of some Wall Street Big Names. Greed isn't always good. Sometimes it's just greed.

The Hangover

In A Large Regular exclusive - it was learned that the movie The Hangover was actually based on this children's book.

I swear it's true.

Heh Heh



This was awesome.

HT Hot Air

Heh Heh

"Peter Angelos' Twitter Page" - with great nuggets like this:

Relieved that none of our players tested positive for performance drugs.Thrilled that two tested positive for exposure to asbestos.

I can actually picture Peter Angelos saying that.

Silence of the Lambs - The Musical


Just awesome. NSFW language.

HT Jezebel

Heh Heh

A very classy lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfectly loaded Lexus she ever seen. She walked over to inspect it closer. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Sure enough, there standing right behind her was a salesman. With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?" Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" Still smiling pleasantly, he replied,

"Madam , I'm very sorry to say... if you farted by just touching it, you are gonna shit when you hear the price."