Heh Heh

Here's something to tickle your funnybone today. Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Here's just a few to give you an idea:

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

Hat tip to the Happy Carpenter