Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.
- The 2023 Festivus report is out showing $900,000,000 in government waste. I have a lot of problems with you people!
Showing posts with label Festivus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Festivus. Show all posts
Monday, December 25, 2023
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Flotsam and Jetsam
Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.
Marilyn Monroe once famously sang Happy Birthday to You (Mister President) to JFK. What's lesser known is that Kennedy never paid the licensing fee for the song. That was the real reason JFK was killed. The Happy Birthday to You rights holders don't friggin' mess around... FACT: Donald Trump has never been defeated in the Octogon by any other President living or dead. You can't argue with facts!... Excellent point... I'm going to have business cards printed up that say "Chris Lynch - Public Intellectual and Thought Leader" because why not?... Speaking of Trump "Loki Never Forgets an Insult" would make a great Trump 2020 campaign slogan... A reminder on the wisdom of the masses - a 1967 Gallup poll found almost twice as many Americans supported nuking North Vietnam as opposed to those who supported withdrawing from the war... It's possible that when parents started to tell children not to be "fresh" (i.e. talking back) is when America started having an obesity problem. "Do you want some fresh fruits or vegetables?" "No - my parents told me not to be fresh"... Remember until you pin me Festivus is not over!...
Marilyn Monroe once famously sang Happy Birthday to You (Mister President) to JFK. What's lesser known is that Kennedy never paid the licensing fee for the song. That was the real reason JFK was killed. The Happy Birthday to You rights holders don't friggin' mess around... FACT: Donald Trump has never been defeated in the Octogon by any other President living or dead. You can't argue with facts!... Excellent point... I'm going to have business cards printed up that say "Chris Lynch - Public Intellectual and Thought Leader" because why not?... Speaking of Trump "Loki Never Forgets an Insult" would make a great Trump 2020 campaign slogan... A reminder on the wisdom of the masses - a 1967 Gallup poll found almost twice as many Americans supported nuking North Vietnam as opposed to those who supported withdrawing from the war... It's possible that when parents started to tell children not to be "fresh" (i.e. talking back) is when America started having an obesity problem. "Do you want some fresh fruits or vegetables?" "No - my parents told me not to be fresh"... Remember until you pin me Festivus is not over!...
Thursday, December 06, 2018
Flotsam and Jetsam
Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.
Periodic reminder to Steelers fans - your team lost playoffs games to both Blake Bortles and Tim Tebow... Talk about being consistent... Every time I'm tempted to give a Nobel Prize winner too much credit I remind myself that former Enron adviser Paul Krugman won one for economics and that Yasser Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize... Heh heh - Run, Tommy Run... Still on the fence about President Trump but if he were to name Alice Cooper US Poet Laureate that might put me over the top... Remember - until you pin me Festivus is not over!
Periodic reminder to Steelers fans - your team lost playoffs games to both Blake Bortles and Tim Tebow... Talk about being consistent... Every time I'm tempted to give a Nobel Prize winner too much credit I remind myself that former Enron adviser Paul Krugman won one for economics and that Yasser Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize... Heh heh - Run, Tommy Run... Still on the fence about President Trump but if he were to name Alice Cooper US Poet Laureate that might put me over the top... Remember - until you pin me Festivus is not over!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Flotsam and Jetsam
Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.
Next time I'm in Vegas I will find a casino offering an over / under prop on Javier Vazquez' IP next year and I'm going to take the under. Everyone is talking about how Vazquez is almost a guarantee for 200 IP which will help save the wear and tear on the Yankees bullpen. When everyone is going one way - it is often very profitable to go the other... Heh heh - Milton Bradley takes out full-page ad telling Cubs fans to rot in hell... Happy 45th birthday to Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. I didn't realize he was that old... Heh heh - Tweet of the Day from kbabak: "So in the last 24 hours, the Braves have landed themselves Chip Caray and Melky Cabrera. That's outstanding work. ::snicker"... Very cool. Video from a winter train ride in Norway from the point of view of the very front of the train (video about 10 minutes long)... Here's where I announce my geekhood, Doctor Who achieves record US audience. "The Waters of Mars watched by 1.1 million viewers on BBC America – the channel's biggest prime-time audience." I was part of that audience and I must admit I was surprised by the ending. I am looking forward to watching the final two episodes very much.... I'm a fan of Dr. Who but I'm also a fan of Dr. Tits... Interesting. A comparison between Harry Reid's Healthcare Bill and Stephen Douglas' Kansas-Nebraska Act. I love historical comparisons like this.... Happy 31st birthday to Red Sox catcher Victor Martinez.... Happy Festivus everyone....
Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.
Next time I'm in Vegas I will find a casino offering an over / under prop on Javier Vazquez' IP next year and I'm going to take the under. Everyone is talking about how Vazquez is almost a guarantee for 200 IP which will help save the wear and tear on the Yankees bullpen. When everyone is going one way - it is often very profitable to go the other... Heh heh - Milton Bradley takes out full-page ad telling Cubs fans to rot in hell... Happy 45th birthday to Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. I didn't realize he was that old... Heh heh - Tweet of the Day from kbabak: "So in the last 24 hours, the Braves have landed themselves Chip Caray and Melky Cabrera. That's outstanding work. ::snicker"... Very cool. Video from a winter train ride in Norway from the point of view of the very front of the train (video about 10 minutes long)... Here's where I announce my geekhood, Doctor Who achieves record US audience. "The Waters of Mars watched by 1.1 million viewers on BBC America – the channel's biggest prime-time audience." I was part of that audience and I must admit I was surprised by the ending. I am looking forward to watching the final two episodes very much.... I'm a fan of Dr. Who but I'm also a fan of Dr. Tits... Interesting. A comparison between Harry Reid's Healthcare Bill and Stephen Douglas' Kansas-Nebraska Act. I love historical comparisons like this.... Happy 31st birthday to Red Sox catcher Victor Martinez.... Happy Festivus everyone....
Monday, December 24, 2007
Top 5 - Festivus Grievances
Happy day after Festivus! I got a lot of problems with some of you people! Here are my top 5 grievances at the moment. Want to read other people's Festivus grievances? The Airing of Grievances is the only place to look.
1. Cuba Gooding Jr. in those Haines underwear commercials. Those commercials just make me uncomfortable. So Cuba Gooding Jr. goes into other people's dressing rooms and steals their underwear. Is Cuba supposed to be some sort of kleptomaniac? Some sort of men's underwear fetishist? Is he gay for Michael Jordan? Is that the market segment Haines is trying to target – the homosexual NBA groupie market? Has Cuba Gooding Jr.'s star fallen so low that he's reduced to doing commercials like this or does Michael Jordan hold some sort of grudge against Gooding forcing to debase himself so? No matter how you slice it – the commercials make me uncomfortable.
2. "He went to Jared's". I swear to God. If in real life someone said that to me and was serious – that person would get kicked in the nuts.
3. Accidentally giving yourself a Dutch oven. That's all I want to say about that.
4. Tim McCarver. Why God? Why? What demographic actually enjoys listening to this blowhard? Al Leiter and Dennis Eckersley could give better analysis in their sleep. Forget the steroids era – the festering Tim McCarver announcing era has done much more harm to the youth of this country than BALCO and all the cheaters put together.
5. The fact that the traditional day of observing Festivus fell on a Sunday this year so that Orthodox Festivus practitioners don't get to take the day as a paid holiday. If Christmas fell on a Sunday – you would still get Monday as a paid day off. It's religious discrimination and I pray to the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster to set this to rights – blessed be his noodly appendage. Ramen.
OK – now that's out of the way let's get on with the feats of strength,
Happy day after Festivus! I got a lot of problems with some of you people! Here are my top 5 grievances at the moment. Want to read other people's Festivus grievances? The Airing of Grievances is the only place to look.
1. Cuba Gooding Jr. in those Haines underwear commercials. Those commercials just make me uncomfortable. So Cuba Gooding Jr. goes into other people's dressing rooms and steals their underwear. Is Cuba supposed to be some sort of kleptomaniac? Some sort of men's underwear fetishist? Is he gay for Michael Jordan? Is that the market segment Haines is trying to target – the homosexual NBA groupie market? Has Cuba Gooding Jr.'s star fallen so low that he's reduced to doing commercials like this or does Michael Jordan hold some sort of grudge against Gooding forcing to debase himself so? No matter how you slice it – the commercials make me uncomfortable.
2. "He went to Jared's". I swear to God. If in real life someone said that to me and was serious – that person would get kicked in the nuts.
3. Accidentally giving yourself a Dutch oven. That's all I want to say about that.
4. Tim McCarver. Why God? Why? What demographic actually enjoys listening to this blowhard? Al Leiter and Dennis Eckersley could give better analysis in their sleep. Forget the steroids era – the festering Tim McCarver announcing era has done much more harm to the youth of this country than BALCO and all the cheaters put together.
5. The fact that the traditional day of observing Festivus fell on a Sunday this year so that Orthodox Festivus practitioners don't get to take the day as a paid holiday. If Christmas fell on a Sunday – you would still get Monday as a paid day off. It's religious discrimination and I pray to the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster to set this to rights – blessed be his noodly appendage. Ramen.
OK – now that's out of the way let's get on with the feats of strength,
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Happy Festivus!
Festivus (a festivus for the rest of us) is traditionally observed on December 23rd but the great thing about Festivus is that it can be observed any day during the holiday season. Different people celebrate Festivus in different ways. What was the genesis of Festivus? Well here' what HowStuffWorks.com has to say:
The Festivus Pole
The Airing of Grievances
You can find more info on Festivus here.
Festivus (a festivus for the rest of us) is traditionally observed on December 23rd but the great thing about Festivus is that it can be observed any day during the holiday season. Different people celebrate Festivus in different ways. What was the genesis of Festivus? Well here' what HowStuffWorks.com has to say:
This man's name is Frank Costanza. During a routine outing to secure a Christmas gift for his son George, events transpired which would forever change the landscape of the holiday season.The three major elelments of Festivus include:
In his own words: "Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had -- but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way! [The doll] was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. 'A Festivus for the rest of us!'"
The Festivus Pole
As a symbol of the anti-holiday commercialization, devotees of Festivus display a large pole in a prominent location in their home or dwelling. The pole is aluminum, chosen due to its very high strength-to-weight ratio, and is never decorated (this stems from founder Frank Costanza's belief that "tinsel is distracting"). After the celebration is over, it is not uncommon for a pole to be placed in an out-of-the-way place, such as a crawl space.Not sure if rebar qualifies but in the spirit of Festivus - anything is possible!
The Airing of Grievances
"Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!" -Frank CostanzaThe Feats of Strength
During the Festivus celebration, friends and family come together to recognize the holiday with an annual dinner. While no specific foods are relevant to the holiday, the dinner contains the most vocal of the Festivus traditions: the Airing of Grievances.
During the Airing of Grievances, a Festivus devotee informs all those in attendance how they disappointed him the year before. It is also a time to report any ongoing problem or irritation that one is having with anyone else celebrating at the dinner. Everyone in attendance is given the chance to speak before the last tradition of Festivus begins...
"Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over!" -Frank Costanza
In accordance with Festivus tradition, the celebration may not end until two people participate in a contest known as the Feats of Strength. During this event, the head of the household (or the host of the Festivus dinner) challenges one of the guests to a test of physical strength. The challenger may choose anyone as an opponent and a challenge may not be refused unless, of course, the challenged has a previous engagement.
You can find more info on Festivus here.
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