Quotes for Today

Some quotes I hope may resonate with you.

Have a new Quotes for Today up on my Substack. As I've mentioned doing this as a way to thank those who have Subscribed. If you are a Subscriber - you should have received an email. Thanks!

Quotes for Today

Some quotes I hope may resonate with you. 

"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

"If you don't know what your top three priorities are, you don't have priorities." - Donald Rumsfeld

"And the rockets red glare... buncha bombs in the air... came proof to the night that we still had a flag." - Enrico Palazzo

"We all fool ourselves from time to time... to keep our thoughts and beliefs consistent with that we have already done or decided." - Robert Caldini

"The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true." - Leigh Bardugo

"I haven't slept for ten days... because that would be too long." - Mitch Hedberg

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I have a solar reflex which means sometimes when I go outside just seeing the sun makes me sneeze. Used to be I'd sneeze (into my handkerchief or arm) and people would say "Gesundheit" or "God bless you" but now they look at me like I'm wearing a Hitler mustache instead... The George Carlin Germ Theory: Because now more than ever... Sometime the cliche "It's not the size of the dog in the fight that matters it's the size of the fight in the dog" does not apply. This would be one of those times... Remember those Chatty Cathy dolls that had a string you'd pull and they would speak. Or Woody from Toy Story? For a long time I've thought it would be cool to have a Rodney Dangerfield or Mitch Hedberg doll where you'd pull the string and get a one-liner joke from the doll. Would make a great gift or party conversations starter... When the worst is behind us I would fully support President Trump signing a free trade agreement with Taiwan. It would be mostly symbolic as there are very few trade barriers between our two countries but the message would be loud and clear. National Review recently had an article about this but as strong as the column started off it eventually veered off to complaints of Trump pulling out of the TPP and other Never Trump nitpicking...

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

If Joe Biden were a cartoon character I'm pretty sure he'd be Pepe Le Pew... "I haven't slept for ten days... because that would be too long." - Mitch Hedberg... What the hell? Pretty cool trick... I would love to see an SNL skit of the founder of Pet Rocks going on Shark Tank to try and get funding... I laughed way too hard at this... Your yearly reminder that there is no bigger waste of time than  reading anyone's NFL mock drafts. To paraphrase William Goldman "No one knows anything."... Few things are as beautiful or spiritually uplifting as the chants of monks such as these Benedictine Monks chanting the Spiritus Domini... Not for nothing but I watched Virginia win the NCAA hoops championship last night but I did not stick around to watch One Shining Moment. In fact never in my life I have watched One Shining Moment. I could not even identify the tune if I had to...

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Interesting twist of fate.

- Remembering Mitch Hedberg 10-years after his death

- Heh heh

- Tom Brady - living the life.

- This is old but still makes me chuckle

- With Easter coming up - the Passive Aggression of the Christ (I've already come to terms with the fact that I'm going to hell)

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Heh heh - Harry Shearer got fooled by fake congressman from non-existent congressional district. I love the fact that there was not just a fake twitter account for the fake congressman but also one for his "Chief of Staff".

- This week would have been Elvis Presley's 80th birthday. Here's the story of when Donald Rumsfeld met the King.

- After seeing this - I'm guessing Peter King won't be getting an interview from either coach in today's 4:30 game.

- Funny - Nick Dipaulo's Mitch Hedberg story

- Heh heh

- Holy crap what a shot!

- Definitely lost some respect for Mark Jackson after reading this

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Interesting - 6 people will spend 4 months on top of a Hawaiian volcano in a "high tech yurt" to simulate life on Mars. Three guys, three girls in cramped space - what could go wrong?... Snoop Dogg's Scrotal Torque would be a good name for a fantasy baseball team... What's the difference between flotsam and jetsam?... "I haven't slept for 10 days.... because that would be too long." Mitch Hedberg... The original Charlie's Angels in 1976. Like a cheese cracker!... If you think about it those old Peppy Le Pew cartoons simply broke down to a skunk that wanted to f*ck a cat... How much of your beer money goes to taxes?  Wyoming has the right idea...

Mitch Hedberg Kinetic Typography

Funny stuff. Here's another one.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share. 

Nice math trick - if you divide 1 by 998,001 you get all three-digit numbers from 000 to 999 in order 

Example of life imitating art or vice versa  "As God as my witness - we will have casinos on the moon" 

Who said it: Steven Wright or Mitch Hedberg?

This was so unnecessary - LA Confidential was made into a TV movie in 2003

So it looks like I have 50 brands of beer I need to try -  RateBeer top 50 best beers 2012

Unlikely to recapture the Monty Python magic but I do like the idea of the gang getting back together

Comparisons like this are what the Internet was made for - Exploring the strange parallels between the writing of mythologist Joseph Campbell and the first 4 Police Academy films (HT Big Stupid Tommy)

Kool - 6 Hugely Successful Products Originally Invented for Something Else

So jealous -   Wes Welker is engaged to this woman: