The Karl Rove Interview

A Large Regular was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the now departing Deputy Chief of Staff and political lightning rod Karl Rove.

ARL: First off - thank you so much for taking the time to do this interview. I know this must be a particularly hectic time for you.

KR: No problem Chris. I always have time for my friends and except for the barrage of phone calls about me leaving I'm not particularly busy. I've planned this departure for some time now and all my stuff is already out of my office.

ALR: You've said in interviews that you are leaving to spend more time with your family. I hate to be blunt but oftentimes that excuse is just cover-up for some other reason.

KR: You're right Chris. Often the phrase "to spend more time with my family" is code for something else. In my case it's half true. I do want to spend more time with my family but there is something else.

ALR: And that is?

KR: Well - I need to make some money. I've been a target at the White House and all the legal fees have really hit me in the pocketbook. It has literally cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees to work at the White House. By leaving now I'll have time to write a book and do some speaking engagements. That should put me back flush with cash. People forget that I was just a consultant. I've wasn't some rich business heavyweight like Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld.

ALR: Aren't you going to miss the day to day goings on at the White House and being in the middle of the big issues of the day?

KR: Those are two different things. I won't miss the day to day stuff at all. After a few years it almost becomes the same ol' same ol' with a bunch of daily meetings and memos. I won't miss that stuff at all and being the Deputy Chief of Staff - that was a big part of my day. As far as still being involved - I'll still have my long Sunday morning calls with the President just like I always have.

ALR: Again - sorry to be blunt but you've been with the President so long it just seems strange that you couldn't wait the last 15 months before going back to private life.

KR: No problem Chris. I agree that this is a point worth emphasizing because the Left will seize upon it as some sort of hope of some big scandal about to break that is forcing me out or make some crack about rats leaving a sinking ship. That's just not true. The truth is very pedestrian. I don't need the hassles of doing the day to day stuff and I need the money that a well-time political memoir will bring. People don't realize that there is a small window for political first hand history. I need to get my book done prior to the next President taking office.

ALR: Thank you for your time.

KR: Always a pleasure Chris. By the way - do you think people will realize this was satire?