Adam and Eve

As Jordan Peterson put it, "there was something amiss, for better or worse, with our first parents." Or more plainly - our first parents were pretty messed up the more you learn about them.

"God placed Adam in there, along with all sorts of fruit-bearing trees, two of which were marked out. One of these was the Tree of Life; the other, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. God then told Adam to have his fill of fruit, as he wished, but added that the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was forbidden. After that, He created Eve as a partner for Adam." - Jordan Peterson

So according to this story before woman came along Adam was not just the first man but the also the first vegan - eating just fruit. And that once Eve convinced him to eat the fruit of Knowledge Adam became aware of not just carnal knowledge but became a carnivore - eating meat. Learning in the process that there was good and evil in the tastes for both.

Messed up.

Some Memes You May Enjoy

Many a truth is said in jest.

- Heh Heh

- Question that may keep you up at night.

- Today's biblical reminder.

- Wait what?

Some Memes You May Enjoy

Many a truth is said in jest.

- Perspective.

- I feel seen

- Laugh but it works.

- Makes sense

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- What if Canada was Conservative? Making the Canadian military stronger is something I think everyone can support.

- From the archive:  Who was Lilith - Adam's first wife in the Garden of Eden?

- Matt Taibbi's statement to Congress. No matter your party we should all agree that censorship is wrong. Taibbi also has some observations on his testimony worth reading.

- Apple released emergency security updates last night. I was completely unaware. (HT Borepatch)

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Interesting insights into Xi Jinping and the workings of Communist China. The article states that "propaganda is the 'lifeblood' of the party state" which to me just seems evil. The author also seems a fan of Xi Jinping because (in my words) "he gets the trains to run on time." It is important to understand the arguments of the other side - but the arguments presented here are filled with obvious holes and inconsistencies.

- Heh Heh

- 9 Facts about Charles Bronson

- Heh Heh

- Solitude and Leadership

Why the Catholic Church is So Against Masturbation

Everyone has trouble talking about sex with their kids. I don't care how cool or hip or how with it you think you are - you are still going to have trouble talking to your kids about sex. 

Even God had trouble talking about sex. Seriously. If you read between the lines in the story of the Garden of Eden - you see how uncomfortable God was in talking about sex. 

Start from the beginning. God made Adam in his image but with one major difference - God was smart whereas Adam didn't know any better because he did not eat from the tree of knowledge - yet. Think about that for a minute. You have a dumb male - a naked male at that - in perfect health just bopping around the Garden of Eden with really nothing to do. Every guy knows what that means. 

Adam must have spent all of his time playing with himself.

There must of been a first time when Adam discovered the hard-on. It was probably morning - a BEMHO (basic early morning hard-on) - not to be confused with a HOFNAR (hard-on for no apparent reason). Can't you picture it? Adam, "Hey what's this?" And of course the first thing he does is to touch it. "Hey it feels pretty good to rub this thing. Hey - this - is - great! Now I know how I'm going to spend my day."

As an aside - God gave Adam the job of naming all the plants and animals. So you know Adam must have also named his newly found best friend. That's why men give their penis a name to this very day. It's a throwback to the Garden of Eden. (I call mine Mr. Happy.)

Now God used to roam the Garden of Eden in those days and you know he must have walked into Adam when Adam was jerking it. 

God, "Whoa - Adam? What are you doing?" 
Adam, "Just rubbing myself God. Hey watch what happens when I go really fast." 
God, "Adam that's fine. That's something you do in private." 
Adam, "Private? What's that? I'm the only one here. I'm in private everywhere I go." 
God, "I really have to do something about this guy."

So that night God took one of Adam's ribs and created woe-man and the Bible tells us that is was so that Adam would not be "lonely" but really it was because God was probably tired of seeing Adam playing with himself all the time. 

Why the Catholic Church is So Against Masturbation

Everyone has trouble talking about sex with their kids. I don't care how cool or hip or how with it you think you are - you are still going to have trouble talking to your kids about sex. 

Even God had trouble talking about sex. Seriously. If you read between the lines in the story of the Garden of Eden - you see how uncomfortable God was in talking about sex. 

Start from the beginning. God made Adam in his image but with one major difference - God was smart whereas Adam didn't know any better because he did not eat from the tree of knowledge - yet. Think about that for a minute. You have a dumb male - a naked male at that - in perfect health just bopping around the Garden of Eden with really nothing to do. Every guy knows what that means. 

Adam must have spent all of his time playing with himself.

There must of been a first time when Adam discovered the hard-on. It was probably morning - a BEMHO (basic early morning hard-on) - not to be confused with a HOFNAR (hard-on for no apparent reason). Can't you picture it? Adam, "Hey what's this?" And of course the first thing he does is to touch it. "Hey it feels pretty good to rub this thing. Hey - this - is - great! Now I know how I'm going to spend my day."

As an aside - God gave Adam the job of naming all the plants and animals. So you know Adam must have also named his newly found best friend. That's why men give their penis a name to this very day. It's a throwback to the Garden of Eden. (I call mine Mr. Happy.)

Now God used to roam the Garden of Eden in those days and you know he must have walked into Adam when Adam was jerking it. God, "Whoa - Adam? What are you doing?" Adam, "Just rubbing myself God. Hey watch what happens when I go really fast." God, "Adam that's fine. That's something you do in private." Adam, "Private? What's that? I'm the only one here. I'm in private everywhere I go." God, "I really have to do something about this guy."

So that night God took one of Adam's ribs and created woe-man and the Bible tells us that is was so that Adam would not be "lonely" but really it was because God was probably tired of seeing Adam playing with himself all the time. 

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Is that really the sound it makes? Awesome!

- All humans are descended from just two people. Scientists damn well better name those two Adam and Eve!

- Well this made me feel stupid. Jordan Peterson's list of his top 51 literature books. I've only read 14.

- Gross - half the DNA on the NYC subway matches no known organism

- Mitt Romney was right about the GM bailouts

- Very cool!

- Heh Heh

Adam's Touching Himself

Everyone has trouble talking about sex with their kids. I don't care how cool or hip or how with it you think you are - you are still going to have trouble talking to your kids about sex. 

Even God had trouble talking about sex. Seriously. If you read between the lines in the story of the Garden of Eden - you see how uncomfortable God was in talking about sex. 

Start from the beginning. God made Adam in his image but with one major difference - God was smart whereas Adam didn't know any better because he did not eat from the tree of knowledge - yet. Think about that for a minute. You have a dumb male - a naked male at that - in perfect health just bopping around the Garden of Eden with really nothing to do. Every guy knows what that means. 

Adam must have spent all of his time playing with himself.

There must of been a first time when Adam discovered the hard-on. It was probably morning - a BEMHO (basic early morning hard-on) - not to be confused with a HOFNAR (hard-on for no apparent reason). Can't you picture it? Adam, "Hey what's this?" And of course the first thing he does is to touch it. "Hey it feels pretty good to rub this thing. Hey - this - is - great! Now I know how I'm going to spend my day."

As an aside - God gave Adam the job of naming all the plants and animals. So you know Adam must have also named his newly found best friend. That's why men give their penis a name to this very day. It's a throwback to the Garden of Eden. (I call mine Mr. Happy.)

Now God used to roam the Garden of Eden in those days and you know he must have walked into Adam when Adam was jerking it. God, "Whoa - Adam? What are you doing?" Adam, "Just rubbing myself God. Hey watch what happens when I go really fast." God, "Adam that's fine. That's something you do in private." Adam, "Private? What's that? I'm the only one here. I'm in private everywhere I go." God, "I really have to do something about this guy."

So that night God took one of Adam's ribs and created woe-man and the Bible tells us that is was so that Adam would not be "lonely" but really it was because God was probably tired of seeing Adam playing with himself all the time. 

Adam's Touching Himself

Everyone has trouble talking about sex with their kids. I don't care how cool or hip or how with it you think you are - you are still going to have trouble talking to your kids about sex.

Even God had trouble talking about sex. Seriously. If you read between the lines in the story of the Garden of Eden - you see how uncomfortable God was in talking about sex.

Start from the beginning. God made Adam in his image but with one major difference - God was smart whereas Adam didn't know any better because he did not eat from the tree of knowledge - yet. Think about that for a minute. You have a dumb male - a naked male at that - in perfect health just bopping around the Garden of Eden with really nothing to do. Every guy knows what that means.

Adam must have spent all of his time playing with himself.

There must of been a first time when Adam discovered the hard-on. It was probably morning - a BEMHO (basic early morning hard-on) - not to be confused with a HOFNAR (hard-on for no apparent reason). Can't you picture it? Adam, "Hey what's this?" And of course the first thing he does is to touch it. "Hey it feels pretty good to rub this thing. Hey - this - is - great! Now I know how I'm going to spend my day."

As an aside - God gave Adam the job of naming all the plants and animals. So you know Adam must have also named his newly found best friend. That's why men give their penis a name to this very day. It's a throwback to the Garden of Eden. (I call mine Mr. Happy.)

Now God used to roam the Garden of Eden in those days and you know he must have walked into Adam when Adam was jerking it. God, "Whoa - Adam? What are you doing?" Adam, "Just rubbing myself God. Hey watch what happens when I go really fast." God, "Adam that's fine. That's something you do in private." Adam, "Private? What's that? I'm the only one here. I'm in private everywhere I go." God, "I really have to do something about this guy."

So that night God took one of Adam's ribs and created woe-man and the Bible tells us that is was so that Adam would not be "lonely" but really it was because God was probably tired of seeing Adam playing with himself all the time.

To be continued...