Monday, December 28, 2020

My Secret Will

I've decided that I'm going to have a secret will that only the executor of my estate will see. That "secret will" will have funds to hire an Elvis impersonator to attend my memorial "party". At the party the Elvis impersonator will sit in the back and not speak to anyone unless spoken to.

If asked the Elvis impersonator will say one of three things in his best Elvis voice:

"I fucking loved that guy."

"Wasn't Chris just the best! There was nobody outside of the King that I admired more."

"It's too painful to talk about the great times we had. I just fucking miss him."

There will be a few hundred dollars put aside for fake Elvis' bar tab because I'd fully expect him to tie one on in my memory.

I'll be dead - but I'll still think it's funny.


  1. Thank you.

    Thank you very much.

    (I hope you read that in Elvis' voice)