Slice of Life

Yesterday I was running some errands and my wife asked me if I could stop at the grocery story to pick up some grapes and maybe a honeydew melon for a fruit salad she was making for a pot-luck lunch.

So I go to the Big Y and I get the seedless grapes and a honeydew melon (or as the kids call it a "green melon"). I have but two items so naturally I head for the express check-out lane but that lane has about 8 people waiting. I spy a regular check-out lane with a guy just paying his bill and a middle aged woman with half a cart of groceries. I make the mistake of getting behind the woman.

The Big Y has a computerized check-out that shows the price of each item and a running total on a screen. This woman is scrutinizing the screen like Bill James scrutinizes box scores.

Some fruit goes under the scanner - "Wrong price!" the woman shouts. "The man gave me a different price." The young girl at the register looked at the fruit, looked at her screen that has the pricing and then she types in a lower price (my guess is the girl just picked something cheaper to satisfy the woman).

Some tupperware containers go under the scanner - "Wrong price!" the woman again shouts. "No that's the right price," says the girl who probably isn't inclined to give this lady another break. "But aren't they on sale?" "No - the smaller ones are on sale." "Well then I don't want them - take them off." The young girl at the register complies and the rest of the items go under the scanner without incident.

Once the total is reached, the woman's cell phone goes off and she answers it in what sounds like Russian. She turns her back on the young girl at the register so as to not interupt her cell call.

Finally the call ends and the woman goes to pay the total but she tells the young girl she would like to pay half in cash and put the rest on her credit card. I turn to the people behind me, they look at me and then we all look at the ceiling and take a deep breath.

I purchase my two items with no incident and on the way out I can't help but notice that there is nobody waiting in the express lane.

Please note that I wasn't upset by this but more amused. I always pick the wrong lane. Me picking the right lane is like Chris Berman picking NFL games against the spread.