Slice of Life

So I was in Minneapolis a while back and had some time to kill one night. I asked a friend from the area in my Boston accent if he knew of any poker bars because I was in the mood to play cards. He looked at me for a minute and then replied, "Try Nye's Polonaise it's close by to where you are staying."

So try Nye's I did. It was close by and it has a great reputation (named the best bar in America by Esquire). I was completely underwhelmed. I sat at the bar and asked the bartender if they played poker there (thinking there may have been a back room or another floor or something).

"Did you say poker?"

"Yeah poker - you know Texas Hold'em."

"Sorry no cards here."

"Hmmm... my friend told me that this was a poker bar."

"Maybe he was having fun with you. This is a polka bar."

Damn - me and my Boston accent - dropping the R's off words bit me in the ass that time.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Ever noticed that nobody ever gets killed on the show Burn Notice? I think it would be a much better show if one the bad guys actually died a gruesome-had-it-coming death every once in a while... After shutting out the Rockies yesterday - the only team the Mets' Johan Santana has not faced is the Minnesota Twins - which is understandable if you think about it for a minute... I still wonder what impact the awful contracts of Jake Westbrook and Kerry Wood had on the decision of the Indians to deal Cliff Lee. Westbrook is on the books for $11 million next year while Wood will waste up $10.5 million of salary... Quote of the Day: "I try to live in the now- where the ghosts of old wrongs do not abide." Captain Nemo - from the movie League of Extraordinary Gentlemen... "The Grotto for People in Love" would be a good name for a bar. I wouldn't go to such a place but it would be a good name nonetheless... WTF? Ted Keith of SI writes a piece on the Phillies rotation with Cliff Lee and neglects to mention Joe Blanton even once...

Crazy Roy Halladay Trade Proposal

Just tossing this out there but if I were the Red Sox GM for today - this is a package I'd offer to Toronto for Roy Halladay. I would offer Clay Buchholtz (everyone has him in a package), Manny Delcarmen or Justin Masterson (JP Riccardi gets to pick one), a lower level prospect and Jonathan Papelbon.

Yup - Jonathan Papelbon.

That would be the package. Four quality players for Halladay with one being a big name who is a current All-Star and one of the premier closers in the game. And if JP Riccardi wasn't interested in Papelbon (who is under team control for another two years) - then hey flip him to another team for a top prospect or two. The Blue Jays could get as many as five or six top prospects in this deal.

From the Red Sox perspective - they would be getting one of the top starters in the game. Replacing Buchholz in the rotation with Halladay would be awesome. Boston can afford to lose Papelbon because they have Josh Bard ready to step in with his overpowering fastball to become the new Papelbon. What many outside of Boston don't realize is that Papelbon is setting himself up to leave as a free agent after two years and that talk along with his inconsistent performance have soured many Boston fans on the closer.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

David Ortiz

Today comes the news that David Ortiz flunked a drug test for performance enhancing drugs back in 2003. Is anyone really that surprised?

I travel a lot and I recently had a long conversation about this very eventuality with a cabbie on the way to the airport in Dallas. The cabbie asked if I thought Ortiz was juicing and I responded something along the lines of:

As a Boston fan I really hope not. However, as a parent you would have to be naive to think that even though your kid hangs around with kids who smoke pot that your kid has never tried it. Miguel Tejada, A-Rod, Manny and a few others Big Papi hangs around with down in the Dominican have all flunked drug tests. You would have to be blind not to see the possibility. I don't even blame the players. Look at Rafael Palmeiro who was born poor but made over $100 million playing baseball. He made that money because he juiced. His name is mud in baseball now but he secured the future for his kids and grandkids. They'll never know hunger. I can't blame him at all.

If Ortiz flunked a drug test in 2003 then that would have been within 12 months of having been released by the Twins. Ortiz has made about $57 million since then. Think about that - from being released to making over $57 million. Would you have tried steroids if you were in his shoes? I'm pretty sure I would have.

USS Indianapolis

On this day in 1945 a Japanese sub fired on and sank the USS Indianapolis. The sinking of the Indianapolis set up Captain Quint's mesmerizing soliloquy in the movie Jaws:

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

I get chills just reading that. I can't imagine what the real survivors of the Indianapolis must have gone through.

Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama

Just saying but you could pretty much replace the name Barack Obama in this Michael Barone piece with the name Jimmy Carter and the message and history would remain almost exactly the same.

Blogroll

I'm adding a couple of links to my blogroll.

First up is Jeff Pearlman. I don't always agree with his takes but he's writes in an interesting, intelligent manner that makes it worth the read whether you agree with him or not.

Second is Sexy Archaeology. I think if Dirk Pitt was a real person that he'd read Sexy Archaeology. I'm adding Sexy Archaeology to the blogroll because Dirk Pitt would want it.

If you can think of any sites you think I'd like - please let me know about them in the comments.

Also just a reminder - you can also follow me on Twitter @ALargeRegular

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Alex Rodriguez needs one more run to pass Cal Ripken for 31st place all-time with 1648. You know that passing Ripken means something to A-Rod... My respect for Bono just dropped several notches. On Twitter he's following both Tony Robbins (not much of a problem) but Yoko Ono? WTF?... Who knew? Eric Aybar of the Angels is the hottest hitter in MLB - hitting .420 over the last 30 days. Aybar's improved performance this year is in large part due to cutting down his strikeouts from 1 every 7.69 AB to 1 every 9.23 AB... Quote of the day: "God is an intelligible sphere, whose center is everywhere and circumference nowhere" How deep is that?... With Boston retiring Jim Rice's #14 - I wonder how many Red Sox fans will now starting playing Keno slips with the numbers 1,4,6,8,9,14 and 27? All 7 numbers wins $5k on a $1 bet using the Mass Lottery... Way cool - Billy Mays Gangsta Remix - now the scratch has met its match!

Politics as Poetry

Today's poetry is brought to you by the letters, R, N and C.

Sarah Palin's speech as poetry. Very good.

However, Donald Rumsfeld remains the standard against which all other would be poets are measured.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian are done. Maybe Barack Obama should invite Bush and Kardashian to the White House for a beer to help work out their differences?... Boston College's football team was picked to finish last in the ACC. I put $20 on them anyway since it would return $1200 if they turned all Cinderella on us. What's $20 compared to the bragging rights I'd win with that bet?... Excellent analysis of the Ryan Garko trade from the Indians to the Giants... This quote is so spot on: "I think the Obama administration has been spending political capital at roughly the same rate the federal government spends money. Eventually, it runs out," Paul Light professor at New York University. A similar sentiment can be made for Obama's TV appearances. Use them up all at once and they lose effectiveness. Spread them out and people will pay attention. Obama has been on TV more often than Billy Mays but without Mays' eloquence... Very good look at A's GM Billy Beane by ESPN's Howard Bryant... Maybe Wilpon and the Mets took so long to fire Tony Bernazard because Bernazard was the one who got Wilpon into Amway sales and Wilpon was afraid that it would affect his pyramid?...

Obama and Golf

I don't think golfing once a week is excessive at all. Obama playing 10 times in 10 weeks is a non-story story in my eyes. Good for him I say. I disagree with the nickname of "The First Duffer" though. Given the facts that he golfs once a week, his policies are extremely wasteful and will probable lead to him being a one-term President - I think the Suessian nickname of "The Onceler" would fit much better.

The most interesting thing for me about the story was the update on what Reggie Love is doing. I lost track of Reggie Love after the defense of Brad Renfro in The Client.

Strange Dream

I awoke to a strange dream this morning. I was in the OSS / CIA / paratroopers - something along those lines and was assigned the job of going into Germany and killing Hitler. This wasn't war-time Hitler though. This was didn't kill himself in the bunker but instead went to jail for many years and now is out and is hosting the very popular German version of the Price is Right Hitler. (I said at the top that it was a strange dream).

I get to the show and am standing on the side when a beautiful blonde jumps in front of the TV camera holding a sign and starts singing. I assume that it is some sort of protest and that she's singing the forbidden national anthem of her homeland but then it dawns on me that she's singing "You Light Up My Life" in German. Hitler, in full military uniform, claps for her and says, "How wonderful." Just then Hitler notices his cameraman his not feeling right. The cameraman is dizzy and Hitler is concerned for him. I can tell instinctually that these two men have been together for many years. Hitler apologizes to the crowd but insists that the cameraman goes off and rest because he obviously isn't feeling well.

My eyes follow the cameraman who schleps off and up some stairs. As the cameraman reaches the balcony he looks over and his expression suddenly turns to shock and horror. A gunshot is heard and the cameraman yells "NO!" I just know that his yell is not out of concern for Hitler (who was just murdered off screen as it were) but for the fact that he'd been filming Hitler for years but didn't have his camera rolling and on him when his end finally came. The cameraman is depressed and I awake.

Two things about the dream. I don't know if I was the one to shoot Hitler (I'm sure that has some psychological ramifications) and I can't understand why Hitler didn't die "on screen". Bad guys are supposed to die on screen. I hope my subconscious isn't going all Marge Schott on me.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Really? Roy Halladay's real name is Harry Leroy Halladay. Harry Halladay? Yeah really... How funny is it that PhilliesNation.com sponsors the Johan Santana page on baseball-reference.com? I find it very funny!... With his loss today - John Smoltz of the Red Sox tied George Bradley for 154th place on the all-time list with 151 losses. George Bradley once lost 40 games in 1879 playing for the Troy Trojans. Wow - 40 games! Times sure have changed.... If John Smoltz happens to ever win another game for the Red Sox - he'll tie Chief Bender for 88th place on the all-time wins list with 212 wins. Though John Smoltz is widely acknowledged as playoff tough - Chief Bender pitched 3 complete games in the 1911 World series. That's playoff impressive... I don' understand that KGB service. Is it for people too stupid or lazy to use Google or Bing?... The Tigers Edwin Jackson needs just 4 more to match his total from last season. Truly a tale of two seasons...

Henry Louis Gates

The House to introduce bill on Monday asking President Obama to apologize to Sergeant Crowley.

How long before people start to refer to this kerfuffle as "Gates-gate"?

I'm amused by the reminder that it was the aftermath of a break-in that brought down President Nixon.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Interesting piece by Bill James regarding steroids and the HOF. I agree with James that steroids, hormones and other wonder drugs will most likely be a large part of our culture in the future. However, his talk of wonder drugs and sexuality make me think of Aldous Huxley and his vision of the future in Brave New World. That never came to be. Overall I find James' logic to be flawed... OJ said wear Spot-bilt's or he'd kill our moms... Cool blog - Sexy Archaeology. $500 million treasures, killer asteroids, and 4,000 year old keg parties - and that's just the latest post... Since being traded to the Mets - Johan Santana has been 27-15 with a 2.74 ERA in the DH-less NL. During that same time Jon Lester has been 24-13 with a 3.45 ERA in the tough AL East. Given the age difference and salary difference - I don't think I would trade Lester for Santana straight up... Heh heh- OJ went bad only after he switched from Dingo's to Bruno Magli's... Today should have been Walter Payton's 55th birthday... Heh heh - failure to thrive, and fatigue... Today used to be the Feast of Saint Christopher in the Catholic Church. You may have guessed that St. Christopher would logically be very close to my heart...

Henry Louis Gates II

OK - instead of acknowledging it was a mistake to become embroiled in a local police matter President Obama has decided to get even more involved in the issue calling both Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police Sergeant James M. Crowley and inviting them to get together at the White House for a beer.

So instead of this not being a national issue at all if President Obama didn't get involved - it has been the issue that has been the most divisive in the country these last few days. Police unions are upset with the President because no matter how much he backtracks - he called a cop "stupid". Now if Crowley and Gates get together at the White House - this will also be the issue that leads the news cycle to start of the week as well. And this President was supposed to be media savvy?

Think on this - what if President Obama wants Crowley to apologize to Gates during the sitdown and Crowley refuses (which he should under the circumstances). If that happens and news gets out you will see Obama's approval ratings plummet. Obama has nothing to gain from being involved in this matter but he may be risking it all by putting himself at the center of it. What does that tell you about his judgment?

Henry Louis Gates

First off President Obama shouldn't have inserted himself into what is basically a local issue. Doing so will cost him support among law enforcement agencies across the country. It showed a lack of judgment on his part. However, it also may have showed loyalty to a man who may have been a mentor and role model to him.

Henry Louis Gates may been having had a bad day - who knows the real reason he was locked out of his house for instance. Something may have been going bad at work or in his personal life and then getting locked out of his own house was just the staw that broke the camel's back. Not showing ID to a police office and then making a "your momma" comment? Tremendous lack of judgment on the professor's part. Harvard must be very disappointed today.

The main point I wanted to make this morning though is the fact that Henry Louis Gates would be very wise to invest in a good security system ASAP because I'm guessing it would take a three-alarm fire to get Cambridge police or fire to respond to a call at his address now. If I was a burglar in the Boston area - I'd be casing Gates house right now because the Cambridge police may not respond to any calls to his home anymore. And who could blame them?

Jake Peavy

Don't be surprised if the team who doesn't get Roy Halladay suddenly gets interested in trading for the injured Jake Peavy. Peavy would be under control for more years than Halladay and maybe ready for a September playoff push. Peavy could still be in a position to put a playoff contender over the top and with 3 more years on the contract - the prospects a team would give up could be more than justified.

Padres would love to dump his salary. Peavy makes $11 million this year and $15 mil in 2010, $16 mil in 2011 and $17 mil in 2012. That $5 million or so that the Padres would save this season would be huge for San Diego.

Adam LaRoche II

Another thought on the Adam LaRoche trade in effect the Pirates traded closer Mike Gonzalez to Atlanta for 37 home runs and three prospects that will never make the big team.

Adam LaRoche

The Adam LaRoche trade when looked from the Red Sox point of view was the opportunity to pick up a player who can A: help the Red Sox against right-handed pitching and B: give them additional depth to rest Mike Lowell. The cost was basically nothing from the Red Sox point of view. They gave up two prospects who never were going to sniff the grass at Fenway as players and the $3 million remaining on LaRoche's 2009 contract is pocket change to Boston. In fact - with LaRoche a free agent at the end of the year - the draft pick they get if he signs elsewhere may yield a much better prospect than either the Red Sox gave up (combined).

From the Pirates point of view - this was a salary dump. That $3 million to them is a very big number.