Hitler Jokes

Any subject can be funny - just ask Mel Brooks.

Hitler asks his astrologer, "Am I going to die?" "Of course," the astrologer says. "But when?" "On a Jewish holiday." "But which one? Hitler insists. Astrologer: " Any day you die on becomes a Jewish holiday."

A German who called Hitler a fool is prosecuted on two counts: one, for insulting the German leader, and two, for revealing a state secret.

From Cooler Than Cool.

Some Memes You May Enjoy

Many a truth is said in jest.

- I'm an awful person for laughing at this.

- Have the sense of humor of a 12-year old

- I laughed

- At first I was upset that the Teddy Roosevelt quote was misattributed.

Some Memes You May Enjoy

Many a truth is said in jest.

- I'm an awful person for laughing at this

- Maybe the best political ad ever.

- Hitler finds out about Trump's "Nazi" rallies of the future.

- Many a truth is said in jest.

Some Memes You May Enjoy

Many a truth is said in jest.

- Funny because its true!

- Heh Heh

- Some Ancient Rome humor

- Hitler finds out about the beeper explosions

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Hard not to be impressed by this story. Pulling for Michigan because of it (nothing to do with the fact the line is up to Texas-7.5)

- VDH: The truth about WW II. Tucker Carlson should know better.

- There are no licensed Covid vaccines for children under 12 - but CDC wants babies to get 3 Pfizer shots by age 9 months. This is criminal.

- CDR Salamander on Hospital Ships. Build more!

Some Memes You May Enjoy

Many a truth is said in jest.

- I stand with him on this.

- I feel seen

- And I think the coffee should be black.

- You knew this was coming

Quotes for Today

Some quotes I hope may resonate with you.

"Generations of men establish a growing mastery over the earth, but are destined to become fossils in its soil." - Will and Ariel Durant

"Only six people in the Galaxy knew that the job of the Galactic President was not to wield power but to attract attention away from it." - Douglas Adams

"Reading science, math, and philosophy one hour per day will likely put you in the upper echelon of human success within seven years." - Naval Ravikant

"Historians now claim Hitler was just kidding when he chanted 'We're coming for the Jews.'" - Babylon Bee

Quotes for Today

Some quotes I hope may resonate with you.

"The word 'racism' is like ketchup, it can be put on practically anything - and demanding evidence makes you a racist." - Thomas Sowell

"The world as a living being, one nature, one soul. Keep that in mind." - Marcus Aurelius

"You know with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy the more I don't care for him." - Norm MacDonald

"In my whole life, I have known no wise people (over a broad subject matter area) who didn't read all the time - none, zero." - Charlie Munger

Humor for People Who Know History and Current Events

Via

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Am I an awful person for laughing at this?

- The water of Mars

- I admit that I'm fascinated by Amazon's "tiny houses"

- The only thing better than dysfunction with the Lakers is dysfunction with the Steelers

- None of the top 10 carbon emitters are meeting their goals outlined in the Paris Accords. If I recall correctly - if Texas were its own country they'd be in compliance (but California would not)

- Tiananmen Square and the death of freedom.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Heh Heh - hope this actually happens

- Exhibit A on the slim difference between magic and science.

- Heh heh

- Hitler deletes his Facebook account.

- Agreed - no one man should have such power

- Major Taylor should be not just better known in this country - he should be famous

- Happy belated birthday to The Cure's Robert Smith

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

So Hitler may or may not have had a deformed micro penis. If he did have one it would go a long way to explain the intense hatred of a group of people who require cutting off a piece of a male's member to join the club... Heh heh... Generally fat shaming is wrong - but not when it comes to millionaire athletes like Pablo Sandoval... US Navy aircraft carriers are the greatest guarantors of the peace but are they now a liability in war?... I've become addicted to The Great War channel on YouTube...  Heh heh... Hard to believe but video game Legend of Zelda just turned 30 over the weekend... In the Beatles song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - I always thought the lyric was "the girl with Colitis goes by" but it actually is "girl with kaleidoscope eyes". My bad... I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THIS HAPPEN!... Just saying but I'd support a law that required male porn actors to wear those fake Groucho nose and glasses. Nobody wants to see their faces... THIS MIGHT BE EVEN MORE FUN TO WATCH! ... There should be a documentary about racism in Hollywood. It could be called Brown and Out in Beverly Hills...

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share..

- You knew this was coming - Hitler learns about Pete Carroll's goal line call

- Bill Belichick's pre-game "Don't Tread On Me" T-shirt was a tribute to the US Marines

- Heh heh - Kobe tried to warn us!

- Almost starting to feel bad for Pete Carroll...

- He did what?

Hitler in the Bunker on Obamacare

Now Obamacare has officially become farce.

Hitler Reacts to Ryan as VP Pack

Heh heh - now Obama will have to debate the budget without a teleprompter!

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

File this under "One of these things is not like the other" - of the four remaining teams in the NBA playoffs - three are coached by men who are considered in the top 4 of NBA coaches. The other team is the Heat... Gates to White House - STFU... Kevin Garnett likes to talk about taking a lot of pride in his "craft." That's why it disappoints me that nobody ever describes him as "crafty". Or even a "crafty vet"... Interesting - resampling the Wisconsin exit polls show that Mitt Romney is either tied or ahead of Barack Obama... Some time in July I plan to strap an old Christmas tree to the roof of my car, dress up in a Santa suit and drive around City Hall 50-times. I'll have someone video the reaction of onlookers... Spooky or cool science? Gravity hills... This joke would be funny if it wasn't so sad that its true. "You can always tell a guy who masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely - you'll see a wedding ring"... Incredible photograph - the sun, Venus, the Taj Mahal and a bird... Just a reminder - Rex Ryan will have to go 7-9 to equal Herm Edwards record in his first 4 years as Jets coach (35-25). There's a good chance Ryan doesn't do it... This was just awesome. Hitler finds out that Scott Walker won the Wisconsin recall election... The show Unlocking the Universe is one of the best science shows ever made... Who knew? Tim Burton's first choice to play title role in movie Beetlejuice was Sammy Davis Jr...

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I think we should thank Fox and Friends. The show seems to serve as a weeding out process of the sane versus batshit insane. They could even rename the show Thoughtful Political Commentary or Moonbat Crazy and I would be fine. At the very least let's hope that MNF will finally get rid of the Hank Williams Jr. song. I mean the song was really good at the start but then it just went too far... Wow - I never knew that Hercules actor Kevin Sorbo was battling a series of strokes... If I ran a team in the English Premier League - I'd hire Terry Francona to do commercials for my team in the US. That would at the least draw support away from Liverpool which is also owned by John Henry and the rest of the Red Sox ownership... Speaking of Hitler - you knew this was coming - Hitler reacts to the Red Sox collapse... I could get behind the new nicknames for Red Sox players of Beckett the Boozer and JaMarcus Lackey... One final Hitler thought - the Internet has really made Hitler an off-limits historical figure. You have Godwin's Law and Hitler in the Bunker satire and none of that furthers any rational argument a person may hope to make. You would be much better pulling out any other historical figure like Churchill's father after he went crazy from Syphillis, Ghengis Khan, Eric the Red or William the Conqueror - anyone. If you do that then the historically ignorant will have no clue what to think. Was the reference amusing for some obscure reason? You would really keep them guessing - and you would get to keep your job.

Strange Dream

I awoke to a strange dream this morning. I was in the OSS / CIA / paratroopers - something along those lines and was assigned the job of going into Germany and killing Hitler. This wasn't war-time Hitler though. This was didn't kill himself in the bunker but instead went to jail for many years and now is out and is hosting the very popular German version of the Price is Right Hitler. (I said at the top that it was a strange dream).

I get to the show and am standing on the side when a beautiful blonde jumps in front of the TV camera holding a sign and starts singing. I assume that it is some sort of protest and that she's singing the forbidden national anthem of her homeland but then it dawns on me that she's singing "You Light Up My Life" in German. Hitler, in full military uniform, claps for her and says, "How wonderful." Just then Hitler notices his cameraman his not feeling right. The cameraman is dizzy and Hitler is concerned for him. I can tell instinctually that these two men have been together for many years. Hitler apologizes to the crowd but insists that the cameraman goes off and rest because he obviously isn't feeling well.

My eyes follow the cameraman who schleps off and up some stairs. As the cameraman reaches the balcony he looks over and his expression suddenly turns to shock and horror. A gunshot is heard and the cameraman yells "NO!" I just know that his yell is not out of concern for Hitler (who was just murdered off screen as it were) but for the fact that he'd been filming Hitler for years but didn't have his camera rolling and on him when his end finally came. The cameraman is depressed and I awake.

Two things about the dream. I don't know if I was the one to shoot Hitler (I'm sure that has some psychological ramifications) and I can't understand why Hitler didn't die "on screen". Bad guys are supposed to die on screen. I hope my subconscious isn't going all Marge Schott on me.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I love these "Hitler in the bunker" spoofs. My favorite was the Terrell Owens one. In the newest one Hitler learns of Michael Jackson's death. Hitler loved Michale Jackson as much as the next Nazi... Pitcher Dan Haren has the 4th best batting average on the Diamondbacks (3rd best if you kick out Alex Romero who has only played 6 games). It should come as no surprise then that the the Diamondbacks have the 2nd worst team batting average in the NL... Drew Bledsoe is opening his own winery. I am so jealous. I would love to own my own vineyard and winery. I'll be buying a couple of bottles of Doubleback when they become available... Do the Nationals have the Braves number? Last season the Nationals were 12-6 against the Braves including a 7-2 mark at Nationals Park. This season the Braves are 5-3 against Washington but all 3 of the Nationals wins have come at Nationals Park. Even if I knew those numbers before now - I still would have picked Tommy Hanson and the Braves yesterday as my POTD (of course if I knew the final score I would have gone the other way)...