My Problem with the Movie The Firm

I saw this video clip this morning. I couldn't agree with the plot hole in Back to the Future more and I'm somewhat bothered that I didn't think of it myself.



That bit of comedy prodded me to write about something thats been bothering me lately - the obvious plot holes in the movie The Firm. I'm not talking about the suspension of belief required to see Tom Cruise as a genius lawyer either. I'm OK with that. What I'm not OK with is the fact that the FBI is concerned with money-laundering but couldn't give a damn about murder.

The two lawyers are killed in the Cayman Islands along with the son of the guy who runs the dive shop and nobody cares? "The Nordic Man" (that's what the albino-like killer is called in the credits) is positively ID'd by Barry Abanks (Sullivan Walker). Does the father want justice for his son's murder? No - he wants to help Mitch McDeere nail The Firm for white collar crime instead! Tammy Hemphill (Holly Hunter) sees her boss killed by "the Nordic man" and "the squat man" (that's how Dean Norris is listed in the credits). Does she want justice for the murder of her lover Eddie Lomax (Gary Busey)? No she wants to do secretarial work for Mitch McDeere instead.

Barry Abanks can positively ID the firm's hired killers; Tammy Hemphill was an eye-witness to the murder of Eddie Lomax and Mitch McDeere can testify that the murderers were in the employ of the firm's head of security, William Devasher (Wilford Brimley - who surprisingly is still alive - must be all that oatmeal). That's murder and conspiracy but what the heck - let's go with over-billing instead. Did they not have MURDER on the bar exam Mitch?

This bothers me. Just thought I'd share.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Holy crap! The kid on Two and a Half Men makes 3-times as much per episode ($300k) than Jon Hamm makes on Mad Men ($100k)... So I have the Reds +1.5 runs last nigh and they are up 4-0 and Bronson is cruising. What could go wrong?... Helpful hint - it's not a good idea to ever tell a woman that she looks kinda like Peter Gammons... Why is Scott Peterson still alive? He was sentenced to death 5 yrs ago for killing his wife. Put him in gen-pop and turn a blind eye already... I wasn't going to touch that Reds game but then I saw a nugget from Jason Stark saying that Bronson Arroyo is 3-0 with a 2,49 ERA in games where Bruce Dreckman calls balls and strikes. It should have been 4-0 damn it!... An atom walks down the road when he suddenly bumps into another atom. "You okay?" he asks. "No! I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"... I am disappointed the Battered Women Support Group doesn't sponsor Wil Cordero's Baseball-reference.com page anymore. For $10 I may sponsor it for them... What's worse - the Eagles picking Kevin Kolb over Donovan McNabb or the Browns drafting Tim Couch over Donovan McNabb?... The weekend is here! Let us spring up out of our sober shells. We shall soar like drunken eagles!

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- Roy Halladay's scouting report as a 21-year-old prospect

- With John Henry poised to buy Liverpool - here's a nice story on how the team got it's signature song. Now the trick is how to explain Dirty Water to the people in England.

- Awesome - the scale of the universe

- Charlie Crist's Comically Bad First Pitch

- Bus driver of WKU volleyball bus dies of heart attack while driving. Coach seizes wheel, stops bus safely

- Tim Lincecum is great and all but this has to be hyperbole

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Given how dominating Roy Halladay was last night - I have to wonder if people really should be talking about Johnny Vander Meer and back-to-back no-hitters instead of Don Larsen's World Series perfect game... Report: Moss dissed Belichick on plane back from Miami... I'm not even a Donovan McNabb fan but I wonder what will go down as the bigger NFL mistake - the Eagles picking Kevin Kolb over Donovan McNabb or the Browns drafting Tim Couch over Donovan McNabb?... The movie St Elmo's Fire was based on Tip O'Neil's autobiography - they just changed congressmen into Georgetown college students... Tiger Would Beer, the beer for philanderers... Happy 25th birthday to Tampa Bay Rays' Evan Longoria... Did you know that Dick Vermeil was the first ever Special Teams Coach in NFL history? He became that in 1969 for the Los Angeles Rams. Vermeil has been retired for 5 years now - I hope he makes the Football Hall of Fame. I think it is an honor he deserves... I loved Speed Racer as a kid - I'd really like to own one of these... In the first 10 minutes of the Burn Notice pilot Michael Westen kills 2 guys off-screen. I don't think he killed 2 more people in the next 2 seasons... The Red Sox match up with all of the teams in playoffs really well. Of all the words of tongue and pen - the saddest are it could have been...

Heh Heh - Old Joke Worth a Re-telling

George W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave. Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

Flotsam and Jetsam - Randy Moss Edition

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Surprised that Bill Simmons isn't getting any credit or at least being discussed for his role in opening floodgates in the Randy Moss story. It was his Twitter private message that he accidentally posted that made this story public... Phrase of the day: drinking with Godot adj. drinking while waiting for friends who may or may not arrive... Randy Moss could play 17 games this year if he is traded to the Vikings. Last week Minnesota had their bye week and still has 13 games to play. Moss has already played 4 games for the Patriots this season. Does he get an extra game check?... People think guys like Andy Kaufman and Jim Morrison faked own deaths but wouldn't it be funny if the guy who really faked his death was Ted Knight?... 11 High School Dropouts Who Found Success Anyway... For the record I'm not sure how I feel about the possible trade of Randy Moss. On one hand you can't replace a talent like Moss. I like Brandon Tate and all but he's not Randy Moss. On the other hand I think Tom Brady had been pressing at some times this season to get the ball to Randy. I think that's one of the things that bogged down the Patriots in the second half of the Jets loss. I guess it comes down to trusting Bill Belichick... The things you learn on the Internet: In the mid-1950s, Kurt Vonnegut ran a Saab dealership in West Barnstable, Massachusetts... Quote of the day: "If you want something done right, do it yourself. That’s all fine and dandy, but it doesn’t really work for fellatio" John McGuirk... Wouldn't it be funny if the Randy Moss trade turns out to be nothing but an overblown rumor? I know at this point it looks like a real deal but wouldn't it be funny if it was just something Bill Simmons made up?

Very Cool - Seabreecher X



If I had an extra $85,000 hanging around - I'd so buy one of these.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Did you know that the first professional baseball player was Jewish? His name was Lipman Pike - you can look it up... Gene Hackman was original choice of the show's producers to play Mr. Brady on The Brady Bunch but the studio insisted on Robert Reed... The chief Norse God Odin had two ravens who sat on his shoulders - one was Hugin (Thought) and the other was Munin (Memory). They flew around the world of men to inform Odin of goings on... Did you know that Ted Knight was the narrarator on the Super Friends?... I think I'd rather have hot wax dripped on my genitals than watch the new CBS "comedy" Mike & Molly - seriously - hot wax on my balls... Did you know that Sarah Holcomb who played Maggie in Caddyshack also played the underage girl who gets pregnant in Animal House?... Robert Redford was in a movie called Havana and it wasn't half bad - Sean Connery was in a movie called Cuba that wasn't half good...

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- If you have ever had a cross country flight and looked out at mile after mile of nothing it may shock you to learn that the farthest away from a McDonald's you can be in the lower 48 is just 115 miles. Amazing.

- Mesmerizing video of "homeless guy" miming Under Pressure using two Kermit puppets.

- Seinfeld-like "hand model" story comes to life

- 10 Latin phrases everyone should know. Not on the list is "Audio, video, disco" which roughly translates to "I hear, I see, I learn."

- Awesome art - I'd so hang this in my living room

- Currently my favorite song - Little Lion Man

Bikini Racing

I don't find women racing in bikinis in the place of horses degrading. I find it amusing. In fact I think I would much prefer bikini races to steeple chases (although bikini steeple chases might be the best of both worlds). After watching the video I thought three things (A) what an annoying announcer (B) what an upset in the race and (C) I wonder what the Trifecta paid.

My 6 Team NFL Parlay

OK - gonna waste a good $10 on a 6-team parlay today (to win $520). Here's my picks:

- Atlanta Falcons -6.5 vs San Francisco (the Falcons are one of the best teams at home while the 49ers are a West Coast team playing a 1:00 East Coast game)

- Indianapolis Colts -7.5 vs Jacksonville (I know the Jags usually play the Colts tough but I think this time it will be a blowout)

- Buffalo Bills +6.5 vs New York Jets (Bills always play AFC East opponents tough at home and they covered against Miami getting fewer points)

- Philadelphia -6 vs Washington (with all the focus on the QB's the real mismatch has been overlooked - the Eagles defense is way better than the Redskins defense)

- Houston Texans -3 vs Oakland (this one scares me but I like the Texans to bounce back this week)

- San Diego Charges -9.5 vs Cardinals (time for the Chargers to breakout)

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Jonathan Papelbon has 7 losses on the season of which 3 were against the Yankees. Rafael Soriano only has 2 losses for Rays. If Papelbon was as effective as Soriano then the Red Sox are still in it. If Daniel Bard was the closer then the Red Sox are still in it... Here's a girl spinning around in circles on an escalator . Admit it - after watching that you are thinking of trying it yourself... August was the 44th consecutive month in which Nevada led the nation in housing foreclosures. I'd blame Barney Frank and Harry Reid for that. I can't believe that one or both could be re-elected... Mike Cameron's and Adrian Beltre's seasons both ended so they could attend births of their children. Haven't they ever heard of family planning? Seriously - what if the Red Sox were still battling for a playoff spot?.... Unemployment in Nevada is 14.4 percent - how can voters in that state even think of re-electing Harry Reid?... The things you learn on the Internet - Joe Paterno still holds a share of Brown University's record for career interceptions with 14.... Barack Obama - more paranoid than Nixon and less competent than Carter... The coolest photo you will see all day... The death of Stephen J. Cannell brings up an old question - was the audience ever told why Jim Rockford went to jail? He was an ex-con turned private eye but what was his crime that made Jim Rockford an ex-con?... How about a Jonathan Papelbon for Carlos Beltran trade? Beltran could have 1-year rebirth just like Adrian Beltre just did.... The things you learn on the Internet - A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5 TB. Talk about TMI?.... Happy Birthday to Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley!

Interesting Mike Silver Story

Reading through Mike Silver's latest NFL column when I came across this gem of a story:

While rookies are typically the prime candidates, credit-card roulette is not an uncommon resolution tool. I’ve even fallen victim, albeit with far less damage than Bryant incurred: Once, after a Chargers training camp practice, I ended up at Japengo, a La Jolla sushi hotspot, with way too many players at happy hour. A constant barrage of cocktails and raw fish ensued. Suddenly, someone looked at his watch and noticed that curfew was approaching, and the table cleared out like the waiter had just yelled, “Bad blowfish!” Before I knew what had hit me, Junior Seau had his arm on my shoulder and said, “Silv … you’ve got the check, right budddeeeee?” Fortunately my employer at the time, Sports Illustrated, was understanding of my desire not to disappoint one of the toughest men in football in his time of need. A year later I laughed upon learning that then-rookie quarterback Ryan Leaf – same sushi spot, same smooth Seau move – had declined the opportunity to take care of the tab. That got him on Seau’s bad side, and he soon managed to tick off Rodney Harrison and every other prominent Chargers player.

Short story but it helps explain why Mike Silver has great access in NFL locker rooms and why Ryan Leaf was such a douche loser.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- Guinness returns original brew, Foreign Extra Stout, to the U.S. It's been gone since Prohibition. How can anything be better than the Guinness I've been drinking?

- Firefox has encountered an unexpected problem with Windows

- Awesome obit for a guy who washed dishes for 10 years for Crab Shack and liked Aerosmith and Celine Dion

- Heh heh

- How to torment telemarketers with one word (video)

The Great U-Turn

Very interesting historical look at how and why modern America is unusually immune to socialistic tendencies.

The article is 5 pages long but well worth the time.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I did not know that Jared Harris (Lane Pryce on Mad Men) was the son of Richard Harris who I guess never clubbed his son over the head with a cane. Jared Harris has been tabbed to play Moriarty in the next Sherlock Holmes movie... The word “alamo” is Spanish for the cottonwood tree. "Remember the cottonwood" just doesn't have the same ring as a rallying cry though... Hard to believe Manny Ramirez will be Type A free agent while David Ortiz and his 32 HR / 101+ RBI will be Type B. Not that it will make a difference since I'm sure the Red Sox will pick up Ortiz' option for 2011... True Grit trailer - I can't wait... JD Drew has a limited no-trade clause to 2 teams. I'm assuming the Phillies are one but I wonder who the 2nd team would be? The Cardinals maybe?... Very interesting - Hells Angels photos from unpublished LIFE story in 1965. Be sure to read the captions. Interesting stuff... I did not know this - the federal government owns approximately 85% of the land in Nevada, 69% of Alaska, 57% of Utah and 53% of Oregon... If I believed in conspiracy theories I would suggest that San Francisco is tanking their season on purpose to get Stanford QB Andrew Luck in the draft so that 49er fans can forget that their team took Alex Smith instead of Aaron Rodgers in the 2005 NFL draft.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

- Canada's prostitution laws rules unconstitutional - this could lead to a big bump in tourism and conventions to America's fridge

- Why do giraffes have long necks? Read the link for the long answer. Short answer - nobody really knows. Interesting tidbit - giraffes and human have the same number of vertebrae.

- A partial list of Ben Franklin's inventions.

- Amazing touchdown by high school player called illegal

- Awesome - the auras of Saturn - a false-colored infrared photo from the Cassini spacecraft

- Two More Reasons We Wish We Were at Oktoberfest

- It turns out that the Most Interesting Man in the World is... well... interesting

2011 Red Sox

Wait till next year? Why wait? Let's start thinking about the 2011 Red Sox now. Here's how I see next year's team.

Catcher: I see Victor Martinez as almost a must sign in the offseason. He's said he wants to stay and the Red Sox really don't have any options. My guess is that the Red Sox re-sign both Martinez and Jason Varitek and carry Jarrod Saltalamaccia as a third catcher. John Buck is a long-shot free agent acquisition.

1st Base: The Red Sox are set here with Kevin Youkilis as the regular and if they re-sign Victor Martinez he can be the back-up (plus Saltalamaccia can also play 1st which makes carrying 3 catchers easier to justify).

2nd Base: The Red Sox should also be set here with the return of Dustin Pedroia. Bill Hall or Jed Lowrie as the back-ups.

Short: I'm not a Marco Scutaro fan. He's had 18 errors so don't sell me on his defense. His OPS+ this year is just 89 - so don't sell me on his offense. He'll be 35 next season. Unless there was personality issues - I don't understand why they went with this guy over Alex Gonzalez. Best case next year is Jed Lowrie is the starter and Scutaro is traded to a new location.

3rd Base: I don't think Adrian Beltre will be re-signed. He has Scott Boras as his agent and he also has a preference for the West Coast. If he comes back I'll be happy but skeptical due to his history of only performing during contract seasons. If he doesn't come back then Jed Lowrie is the logical replacement (the free agent pool after Beltre is pretty thin). I could see Lowrie as the starter with Youkilis playing every once and a while.

LF: I would like to see the Red Sox sign Carl Crawford and trade Mike Cameron (probably eating half of Cameron's final year). The Red Sox would most likely be losing Adrian Beltre's and Mike Lowell's contracts so that's $21 million right there to help pay for Crawford. Hopefully Bill Hall will be back to be the reserve.

CF: Jacoby Ellsbury gets another chance to show he's healthy. Ryan Kalish is the back-up.

RF: JD Drew.

DH: Pick up David Ortiz's option and let's see how he does / ages.

Starting Pitching: Pretty set with Jon Lester, Clay Buchholz, Josh Beckett, John Lackey and Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Bullpen: I hope the Red Sox trade Jonathan Papelbon. I really don't care what they get in return. I just don't want him back as closer especially at the probable $12 million price tag he'd get through arbitration. I would spend the money in free agency on Rafael Soriano to close (he'd probably cost less than what Papelbon would get through arbitration) with Daniel Bard as his set-up man. If you keep Tim Wakefield as the long relief/ spot starter that leaves four spots (assuming the Sox carry 12 pitchers). It is the bullpen that really needs attention this offseason. Please no more Joe Nelson's or Scott Schoeneweis' this time around. As a suggestion - how about a trade of Jonathan Papelbon for Jonathan Broxton of the Dodgers? Broxton could use a change of scenery and the Dodgers could use a closer.

Conclusion: The top three priorities for the Red Sox this offseason should be:

1. Re-sign Victor Martinez
2. Sign Carl Crawford
3. Trade Jonathan Papelbon / sign Rafael Soriano / rebuild the bullpen

Scary Factoid of the Day

From the Heritage Foundation:

Interest payments on the national debt will triple over the next six years, to approximately $600 billion annually. That’s more than Congress spends on education, energy, transportation, housing, and environmental protection combined—and over half of these payments will go to foreign investors.

This is one reason why November's elections are so important.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I think President Obama's problems stem from him not being fully understood. I think he should make nightly prime-time speeches so that the American public can get to understand how good the healthcare and stimulus programs are for the poor and middle-class of America. Yeah - that's the ticket!... Looking at Philadelphia's schedule - I think the Eagles are definitely playoff bound and if that's the case then Vick-mania will grow by the week. I don't think Vick can be mistake free in the playoffs though and the Eagles season will likely end with a whimper not a bang... Random Kurt Vonnegut thought for the day - I hope Kim Jong Il has not developed Ice Nine... I wonder how many fantasy football teams have dropped Saints kicker Garrett Hartley.... The Lion King 300 Recut Trailer... Just saying but the Oakland Raiders are 10th in total offense and 4th in defense. They could be a sleeper team - not quite playoff bound but not quite as bad as some may think. This is bad news for the Patriots who hold the Raiders 1st round pick. Unless New England ends up with a marque player like Alabama's Ingram then I think history will show that the Patriots trading Richard Seymour to be the wrong move at the wrong time... Notre Dame is going to KILL Boston College next week. I don't care what the line is - I'm betting the Irish big.... Cool - Stephen Fry Will Portray Mycroft Holmes in Sherlock Holmes 2...