In the Year 2005

Here are my forecasts for the year 2005:

- After more than 30 years as a fugitive - the Hamburgler is finally captured. Robble, robble indeed!

- ABC decides to re-make the TV show Barney Miller with Dave Attell playing the lead role and Abe Vigoda reprising his role as Fish.

- Scott Peterson dies in prison. All the other inmates were fishing at the time. No charges are filed in the murder and at the prison extra cake is served on Fridays.

- CBS Evening News is beaten in the ratings in New York City by a cable access channel showing Strong Bad emails.

- Ronald McDonald replaces Peter Kris in the rock group KISS

- John Kerry is found naked on a Nantucket beach. He claims to have been out drinking with John Belushi and Elvis Presley the night before.

- One of the Olsen twins does a porn movie. The movie outgrosses Titanic.

- A picture of Jose Lima's wife appears on the web site A Large Regular no less than 12 times in 6 months

- One of the Wiggles claims not to be gay.

- Alice Cooper is named as US Poet Laureate