My Top Movies of 2015

This post was inspired by Stephen Silver ranking the movies he saw in 2015. He saw 162 films last year - I saw much, much fewer. Anyways - here's my rankings of the movies I saw in 2015:

1. Mad Max Fury Road - start to finish just what you wanted from a turn off your brain and enjoy the thrill ride expectations.
2. Ant-Man - really enjoyed this (even saw it twice in theaters)
3. Kingsman: The Secret Service - thought this movie was surprisingly fun and action packed.
4. Star Wars: The Force Awakens - just thought the movie was OK. Not a huge fanboy and the planetary physics bugged me (still do)
5. Road Hard - this Adam Carolla flick was the best comedy I saw in 2015
6. Trainwreck - was OK. Not in my Top 10 comedies of all-time or anything (and I suspect we may look back at this as the point where Amy Schumer ceased to be funny)
7. Winning: the Racing Life of Paul Newman - Newman was an exemplar of what every man should strive to be like
8. The Wrecking Crew - I have a soft spot for rock documentaries
9. Avengers: Age of Ultron - I had such high expectations too
10. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
11. Going Clear - Scientology is so creepy
12. Call Me Lucky - Barry Crimmins touching story
13. Tig - I watch some comedy specials multiple times - not this one

I also walked out of the movie The Drop because I thought it was awful. Have some friends who say the ending was worth the slow build. I wanted to see but missed Ex Machina. Black Mass was on my list of movies I wanted to see but friends said if you read the book the movie was a disappointment.

Any movies that came out in 2015 that you think are must-sees?

EDIT: left off two movies.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

If Milan Lucic was still with the Bruins - his 23 points would put him 6th on the team in scoring... Heh heh... Beats at the Heart of Chaos would be a good name for a band or for a retro Beatnik coffee bar... At some point I'm going to type "Norwegian Beaver Cheese" into the search box on PornHub and RedTube just to see what videos come up... In the future the word "distaff" will be replaced by the word "nodick" because people in the future will be stupid... Two months later and the NFL still doesn't have anything to report on the Andrew Luck injury "report"... I'm going to have business cards printed up that say "Chris Lynch - Public Intellectual" because why not?... If I were President - I would pardon Bill Cosby if he he agreed to kill that super annoying Dr Pepper vendor guy from all the bowl game commercials... How you all probably feel about me for typing that last bit about Bill Cosby... I might be in the minority on this but I feel that women who get their periods during the December holiday season should be made to wear Krampus masks...

PED's and the HOF

"Anyone found or admitted, I think you traded your money and numbers... for your [Hall of Fame] vote." Mike Lowell

I agree 100% with Mike Lowell. Barry Bonds made over $188 million, Roger Clemens made over $150 million and Mark McGwire made over $74 million in MLB contracts. These players were able to get these mega-buck contracts because PED's allowed them to put up bigger numbers and play more years than if they tried to do things the right way - the legal way. They traded their Hall of Fame vote for the money and the numbers - it's that simple. Will I feel bad when these players come up short in getting elected to the HoF? Not in the least.

The players I feel sympathy for are the guys like Fred McGriff who everyone thinks played the game the right way. McGriff finished his career with 493 HR which will be just under what is needed for election to the Hall. McGriff suffers because his power numbers pale in comparison to a guy like McGwire and his 583 HR.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Donald Trump's rally in Massachusetts made me think of this.

- Heh heh - don't do drugs

- Still one of my favorite commercials

- Cool - you can own your own personal hobbit hole

- I have nothing to add either. Picture says it all.

- 2015 Outdoor Photographer of the year photos

- Cargill fires 200 Muslim workers over prayer dispute. A business is a business first.Also pretty sure those jobs were filled pretty quickly.

- Are we sure this isn't a Craig's List ad? "Anybody butt rump?" could be some kinky butt stuff.

Dear Mister Kraft

Dear Mister Kraft,

It has now been three years in a row that I have come to Miami to watch the Patriots play the Dolphins. And for the past three years in a row the New England Patriots have been the better team yet have lost each time. How can this be explained? I know that there have been many factors that have gone into each loss but it has to be faced that I am a consistent factor. That cannot be denied.

As a big Patriots fan I do not want the team to lose again next season when both I and the team venture down to South Florida. That's why, as a big fan of the team, I am making you this offer - pay me $10,000 and I will stay away from the game next year. I will use the money you pay me to go somewhere else. Maybe the Florida Keys or maybe Grand Cayman Island instead.

This will be a sacrifice on my part because other than having my Sunday ruined by a Patriots loss - I really enjoy my trips down here. The weather's great and the Dolphin fans are almost quaint with the way that they and the team seem fixated on 1972. I also have to say that I think the Miami team is cursed by their choice of an awful team theme song.

So Mister Kraft - what do you say? $10,000 is a small price to pay to eliminate one of the potential issues that might be keeping your team from winning an important AFC East divisional game. It really is a small price to pay for a $1 billion organization - don't you think?

I await your reply,

Sincerely

Chris Lynch

Winter Classic

Go Bruins!

Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton has just two things on his mind today.... The two college football playoff games.

ALR: Mister President thank you for joining us this morning. I understand you are a big college football fan. Who do you like in today's Oklahoma vs Clemson matchup?

BC: Good to be here Chris. I woke up this morning craving melons for breakfast and now I'm craving some football. My first inclination was toward Clemson because I thought the coach's name was Yabbos Sweeney but I was mistaken. I know "Big Game" Bob Stoops is just 8-8 in bowl games in his career but I think the Sooners win this one. I'm giving the 4 points (though I'm hoping I get a line of -3.5 so I can buy half a point).

ALR: And the Alabama vs. Michigan State game?

BC: It may surprise some folks that Nick Saban is also just 8-8 straight up and against the spread in bowl games but here's the thing - Saban really brings his milk shakes to the yard when playing against former assistants. It's like me running an election against Al Gore (who is a real boob and not the good type of boob). I like the Crimson Tide even though 10 is a lot of pompoms to be giving up.

ALR: Good luck Mister President.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

If ESPN's Chris Mortensen was asked to sit on a jury on a case involving Peyton Manning - he'd have to be recused because he's a longtime friend. Yet we are supposed to think he's objective when it come to Peyton's reputed HGH usage... Excelsior! Stan Lee turned 93 yesterday... Is the brain "affected" by alcohol or "effected" by alcohol? Or both?... Manning's doctor is famous for his HGH therapy but we are supposed to believe he was going to him for other treatments... The Ewoks are dead. All of them... Words in a Cunning Order would be a good name for a blog - or a publishing company... My favorite part of the Manning story is now whenever Peyton gets mad at anyone - people can immediately ascribe it to "Roid Rage"... Touching stories of George W. Bush visiting soldiers in the hospital... So does Manning retire at the end of the season with this HGH story hanging over his head or does he try to stay on and dare the Broncos to cut him?... I'm an awful person for laughing at this...

Peyton Manning

Peyton Manning has never used HGH or broken any NFL rules ever. He is a great person of integrity is is beloved in America as witnessed by the large number of commercials he does. Praise be his name. Also Bill Cosby did not rape those women. - Baghdad Bob ESPN Spokesman

Retirement

Three articles on retirement - two from former pro athletes and one on David Letterman. Interesting perspectives:

- Joey Harrington looks back on his NFL career.

- Shane Battier is trying to transition from his NBA career to the next challenge

- David Letterman makes me want to move to Whitefish, Montana

Flotsam and Jetsam

Some day after Christmas miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Saw the new Star Wars movie last night. Let's just say that I'm still bothered by some of the liberties the movie took with the laws of planetary physics... Just so I'm clear on all of this - according to the Clintons oral sex isn't sex and according to Donald Trump schlong doesn't mean dick. Gotcha... Why Nova Scotia sends Boston a Christmas tree every year... Years after the original Star Wars movie came out it was retitled as "A New Hope". I think years from now this current Star Wars movie will be retitled as "The New Reboot"... Heh Heh... People like to diminish Bill Belichick's abilities as a GM but it should be noted that all seven of the players from the Patriots to be named to the Pro Bowl were either drafted by the team or signed as undrafted free agents. That's a pretty good accomplishment... The new laziness... Hope everyone had a great Christmas. If you want to know what issues I had with the new Star Wars movie - I'd be happy to let you know in the comments section (spoiler alert obviously)...

Top 5 - Best Versions of Dickens' A Christmas Carol

1. Scrooge - with Alastair Sim
2. A Christmas Carol - with Patrick Stewart
3. Mickey's Christmas Carol
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol
5. Scrooged - with Bill Murray

Christmas Flotsam and Jetsam

Christmastime miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

What has ruined Christmas music more for you? Radio stations that start playing Christmas songs 24/7 since Thanksgiving or Yoko Ono's back-up "singing" on John Lennon's Happy Christmas (War is Over)... A very touching Christmas Bloom County... Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher Pud Galvin was born Christmas 1856. He was nicknamed Pud because he made hitters look like "pudding" at the plate. Not because he was a dick... Dear Jack Edwards - we wish you a merry Christmas too... History factoid: The official signal for the scramble to evacuate the US Embassy in Saigon 40-years ago was the playing of Bing Crosby's White Christmas... They were trying to kill each other again the next day...

Top 5 - Otters in US History

Here are what I consider to be the Top 5 Otters in US history. Otter from Animal House did not make the list because he's fictional. List in reverse order of significance:

5. Obadiah Otter - he was a curious otter who happened upon the Donner Party in 1846. These were the first humans Obadiah ever encountered and as it worked out also the last. He is historically significant because he kept the Donner Party from resorting to cannibalism (for an additional 36 hours).

4. Jeremiah Otter - his wife and adopted son were killed by a Crow Indian raiding party. He spent the rest of his life tracking down Crow Indians and ripping out their necks while they slept. He became a Rockie Mountain legend and some say a myth. Some even say he's up in those mountains still.

3.  Sergeant York Otter - while it was widely reported that the Navy experimented with strapping bombs to dolphins it is lesser known that the Army had a similar project utilizing otters. Sergeant York Otter was named after the WWI hero and died during a training accident.

2. Sacajawea Otter - the only female otter on the list. She was the mascot of the Lewis and Clark expedition party until she was killed by Meriwether Lewis and her pelt was exchanged for some corn meal.

1. Bedford Otter - this otter is significant because as a youth he used to live in a pond in Bedford Falls and one winter when he was young he was poking around under the ice to the point where he caused a few cracks.  These cracks broke when a young Harry Bailey was sledding onto the ice. In one timeline Harry's older brother George was able to save Harry but in another timeline George wasn't around to save Harry. In a third less publicized timeline - Bedford Otter didn't nose around under the ice and Harry never fell into the icy waters. In that timeline George Bailey was a whole lot less necessary to the happiness of Bedford Falls.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I think the NFL should stand firm and suspend Odell Beckham Jr. for this Sunday's game... WFT? Actor Nicolas Cage agrees to return stolen skull of dinosaur Tyrannosaurus bataar to Mongolia...  I'm starting to think Leonardo DiCaprio is "protesting too much" that he didn't get "raped" by a bear. Was it consensual?... Nice math trick - if you divide 1 by 998,001 you get all three digit numbers from 000 to 999 in order... Speaking of dinosaurs - Plesiosaurs may have swum like penguins... Black Hermione would be a great name for a band... "Ball Peen Hammer" sounds like it could be a sex act from the Urban Dictionary. Is "peen" ever used in any other phrase?... Yes this is the GIF of the year...  I should note that I'm in a Fantasy Football final and I'm playing against a guy who is starting Eli Manning and Odell Beckham Jr. Suspend the bastard!...

Christmas Greetings from Bill Belichick

Bill Belichick singing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Awesome! I wonder if any reporters ask him if he's seen this yet?

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- I agree with these proposed changes to NCAA sports. I would add one more though - all revenue from sports is taxable.

- I also agree with these - 10 rules of a Dublin Pub

- Heh heh

- Never noticed this

- Bowe Bergdahl "the Golden Chicken" should be shot

- Fixed State lotteries

- Doug Flutie's touching tribute to his parents who died an hour a part

- Cool - an octopus uses a coconut as armor

Flying Cars

This is so awesome! The Terrafugia TF-X. We were promised flying cars!

DeflateGate Update

The NFL is so tone deaf on how this appears.

I think if I was at the game and saw Mike Kensil - I would spit in his face. Sources tell Chris Mortensen that 11 of 12 Patriots fans would approve of my actions.

The NFL and the Concussion Protocols

So the NFL wants to fine teams that don't follow the concussion protocols. If I were the NFLPA I wouldn't fall for this. Just another power grab by Roger Goodell.

I have a better suggestion. If a team obviously doesn't follow the concussion protocols (like with what happened to Case Keenum earlier in the season) and a three doctor panel agrees - then the affected player gets his entire contract guaranteed. If a team suddenly feels like there could be salary cap implications in treating a player's health like a disposable commodity - then you would suddenly see a sharp change in how things are handled. Teams would be instantly erring on the side of caution (as they should anyway).

So let it be written so let it be done.