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In a stunning devolopment - the Democratic Party has decided to drop both John Kerry and John Edwards from their ticket for President. DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe acknowledged that the move was made because the ticket had become "un-electable".

In an equally stunning move - McAuliffe announced that Kerry and Edwards will be replaced by Frank Bartles and Ed Jaymes - the pair who first came to national attention as the spokesmen for Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers. McAuliffe said that the move was an attempt to move the party back to Harry Truman type sensibility.

When reached for comment, Frank Bartles simply said, "And I thank you for your support."