Nam, Nam, Nam

John Kerry walks a likely voter into a focus group room where pre-convention planning is being led by Mary Beth Cahill.

Kerry: You sit here, sir.

Voter: All right.

Kerry: Morning!

Cahill: Morning!

Kerry: Well, what've you got?

Cahill: Well, there's the economy and education; the economy, social security and education; the economy and Vietnam; the economy, education, and Nam; the economy, education, social security and Nam; Nam, education, social security and Nam; Nam, the economy, Nam, Nam, education and Nam; Nam, social security, Nam, Nam, education, Nam, abortion and Nam;

Vikings: Nam Nam Nam Nam...

Cahill: ...Nam, Nam, Nam, the economy and Nam; Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, school vouchers, Nam, Nam, Nam...

Vikings: Nam! Lovely Nam! Lovely Nam!

Cahill: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Nam.

Voter: Have you got anything without Nam?

Cahill: Well, there's Nam, the economy, social security and Nam, that's not got much discussion of Nam.

Voter: I don't want ANY discussion of Nam! I want to talk about today!

Kerry: Why can't he have the economy, education, Nam and social security?

Voter: THAT'S still includes a discussion of what you did in Nam!

Kerry: It hasn't got as much discussion of Nam as the Nam, the economy, education and Nam, has it?

Vikings: Nam Nam Nam Nam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)

Voter: Could you do the economy, education and social security without bringing up Nam?

Cahill: Urgghh!

Voter: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like Nam!

Vikings: Lovely Nam! Wonderful Nam!

Cahill (to Vikings): Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely Nam! Wonderful Nam!

Cahill: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have the economy, education , Nam and social security without the Nam.

Voter: I don't like all this talk about Nam!

Kerry: Sshh, sir, don't cause a fuss. I'll have to talk about. I love it. In fact if it were up to me this whole election would be about Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, abortion, Nam, Nam, Nam and Nam!

Vikings: Nam Nam Nam Nam. Lovely Nam! Wonderful Nam!

Cahill: Shut up!! Abortion is off the discussion points - too divisive.

Kerry: Well could I have a Bush / Cheney ticket is pure evil and Nam instead?

Cahill: No we've decided to stick with Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam, Nam... (the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Nam Nam Nam Nam. Lovely Nam! Wonderful Nam! Nam Na-a-a-a-a-am Nam Na-a-a-a-a-am Nam. Lovely Nam! Lovely Nam! Lovely Nam! Lovely Nam! Lovely Nam! Nam Nam Nam Nam!

Kerry: I love the small of napalm in the morning.