The Jerk Redux

Dan Rather: Huh? I am not a fraud. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the respect of the nation. Now I only have two things: my Democratic friends and... uh... my Selectric typewriter. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor sharecropper's child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Texas.

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Dan Rather: The new Bush memo's here. The new Bush memo's here. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now.

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Navin R. Johnson: Courage.