SportsCenter Home Run Calls

If I ever sat behind an anchor desk at SportCenter - I would try to make my home run calls something memorable. Something like:

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, homeplate to UPPER DECK! Jesus Christ did he get all of that one!" [Although the religious in the audience may object]

Maybe something stolen from one of those signs people post everywhere like, "[fill in player name] says 'lose weight fast - ask me how!'" [Sure it makes no sense but Craig Kilborn parlayed "Krackatoa east of Java" into a late night TV gig]

Maybe a different bumper sticker - "[fill in player name] says 'make money from home - ask me how!'" [Money from home - get it? Home plate? Money? Keep trying to find a good one you say?]

The call I would really like to use is to simply yell "MONKEY!" but Howard Cosell killed the chances of ever using that one. I actually got "MONKEY!" from the casino. I've been at a number of tables where an Asian guy would yell it at the Blackjack dealer to get them to bust. "MONKEY!" They yell it the way a Caddyshack fan would yell "NOONAN!" My friends and I use it all the time now.

Ah well - I guess there is a reason I don't anchor SportsCenter. I'll keep trying to find my signature call. Till then - "MONKEY!"