Whither Tim Tebow?

"Who will rid me of this troublesome QB?" John "Henry II" Elway

Supposedly now that Peyton Manning is in hand - the Denver Broncos will trade Tim Tebow possibly as early as this afternoon. Speculation is ripe throughout the Intertubes about where he will end up. Jacksonville? That would seem the natural marketing fit yet the football people there prefer Blaine Gabbert which I don't understand. Sure Gabbert has a slightly higher completion percentage but he throws many more interceptions than Tebow. Miami? Don't know about you but I'd rather have Tebow than Matt Moore.

There's a school of thought that Tebow could work as back-up for an established QB like an Aaron Rogers in Green Bay, maybe a Drew Brees in New Orleans or Tom Brady in New England. Green Bay just lost their backup QB Matt Flynn who signed with Seattle so there seems to be a slot open there. I honestly couldn't tell you who is the backup QB in New Orleans but if Tim Tebow got traded there then everyone would know who the backup was. New England has perhaps the best depth at QB of any team in the NFL. Tom Brady is a God, Brian Hoyer could probably start for half the teams in the league and Ryan Mallett is a cannon-armed diamond in the rough. That said - how about a trade that would send Ochocinco to the Broncos for Tim Tebow? That would solve a problem for both teams. If I'm Bill Belichick I definitely make that offer. Just for the salary cap space it would be worth it (Chad Ochocinco costs them $3 million while Tebow would just be $1 million).

One of the more intriguing rumors is the Jets being interested in Tebow. I wonder if that is the offshoot of all the speculation that the Patriots are interested? How funny would that be if the Jets get goaded into a move just out of fear that Belichick was somehow outmaneuvering them? I would actually like to see Tebow in New York but not with the Jets. How ironic would it be if Tebow ends up as Eli Manning's backup with the Giants? I think that would be great on a cosmic karma scale.

Don't sleep on the very real possibility that the Broncos announce today that they are not trading Tebow but are releasing him instead. They could spin it that they owe it to Tim after everything he did for the team last year to let him decide what team would be best for him to sign with. This would eliminate the embarrassing situation of having to settle for a 5th or 7th round pick for a guy who was your starting QB last year.

If Tebow is released then a whole new set of opportunities open up. How come nobody has mentioned the CFL? Tebow in Canada would be the biggest thing since Doug Flutie played north of the border. It would give Tebow the chance to start at QB and prove that he can do the job just as Flutie had to go to America's Hat to show he could be an NFL QB.  You know the CFL is salivating just at the thought of Tebow.

I still think the Flutie comparison is apt. Looking back - how many NFL teams would have been better off with Flutie than the prototypical NFL QB's they tried while Flutie was up in Canada? When all is said and done - people may think the same thing about Tim Tebow.

So what's God's will for Tim Tebow? We might find out today.

Rick Santorum Endorses Mitt Romney

 Heh heh - Rick Santorum endorses Mitt Romney.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Can't the Broncos just trade Tim Tebow to the Rockies to be their 5th starter? Bam - problem solved... Video of Bruins'Milan Lucic destroying Michael Komisarek of the Maple Leafs... ESPN should make Bobby Knight announce some women's NCAA games paired with Jeremy Schaap. Tell me the ratings for those games wouldn't be the best women's NCAA games of the year?... If I were an NFL GM and Tim Tebow only cost me a 5th round pick - I'd trade for him and have him return punts and come in on goal-line packages. Seriously... Has anyone asked George Karl what was harder - beating cancer or coaching Carmelo Anthony? Too soon?... I'd love it if someone did a Watchmen mashup with Tim Tebow doing his best Rorschach, "When Peyton Manning gets hurt in the 3rd game of the season and the fickle Broncos fans plead save us - I'll whisper 'NO'"...  Mitt Romney overwhelmingly won the Puerto Rico primary / caucus and though the result was not surprising the fact that no news outlet mentioned that historically the island is tied to the Massachusetts Congressional delegation was. The ties to Massachusetts go back generations yet nobody mentioned the connection... If the day after Christmas can be known as Boxing Day - why can't the day after Saint Patrick's Day be known as Hangover Day?... Can pregnant women go swimming?

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

How simple ideas lead to scientific discoveries

Heh heh - meanwhile in Russia

Heh heh II - Otters who look like Benedict Cumberbatch

Frickin' awesome - India's Mr. Universe from 1952 turns 100 and could still kick your ass

Why giant squid have huge eyeballs

Prometheus looks like it could be a really cool movie

Best bottled water commercial ever!!

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

I'm guessing the pitch for the movie Tucker and Dale vs Evil went something like this, "Imagine Friday the 13th meets Deliverance meets Naked Gun." If that was the pitched premise then the final results really delivered on the promise. I watched the movie this weekend mainly because it starred Alan Tudyk (of Firefly fame). I was not disappointed and I would recommend a viewing the next time you have an hour and a half to kill.

Luck of the Irish

This is awesome! Irish stable hand bets $75 on the horses and wins himself $1.5 million.

Fittingly, the Irishman won the bet on St. Patrick’s Day. Oh, and Murphy’s description of the final race is fitting too: “I was actually at home in my own place lying on the couch dying of a hangover which disappeared as soon as Riverside won,” he laughed. 

Mitt Romney - The Best Choice on the Menu

Say a nice restaurant puts lobster on the menu at $8. That's well below the market rate but even at that price not every diner is going to choose lobster. Some may pick another entree because they just don't like lobster, others may pick another entree because they had it before and liked it while still others will pick the cheeseburger because it is $7.95 and they cannot justify spending that extra nickel.

That was the analogy that struck me when reading this Atlantic article asking Has Mitt Romney Run a Lousy Campaign? Hell no!

"Cringe inducing gaffes"? "I'm running for office for Pete's sake"? "My wife has a couple of Cadillacs"? "Friends with a few NASCAR team owners"? "For Pete's sake" is as gritty as it gets for Mitt Romney. He's not going to launch into John McCain type Naval cuss-fests. Romney is worth north of $250 million - of course his wife has a couple of cars. At least they are American made. A real gaffe is Energy Secretary Steven Chu's wife driving a BMW (but don't expect that to be called a "gaffe" even though it is exponentially worse political optics). Some critics have taken the "friends with a few NASCAR team owners" as evidence Romney is out of touch with sports. This is a guy with Red Sox season tickets, who is great friends with Patriots owner Robert Kraft, whose former Bain partner now owns the Celtics and a guy who helped build the Sports Authority into a national powerhouse. Yeah - obviously this guy Romney is completely out of touch when it comes to sports.

(I will grant that I have no idea what prompted him to remark that the trees in Michigan are just the right height - if you will grant me that Barack Obama really knew that there are just 50 states and not 57 as he has claimed.)

"The standoffishness of hard-core conservatives"? You mean the people who first supported Rick Perry and then supported Newt Gingrich and are now supporting Rick Santorum? Does any thinking person believe that Rick Santorum will be able to withstand Romney's campaign attacks in California or New York? Santorum wants to take contraception away from women and porn away from men. The guy has no chance. The Romney campaign has done a great job targeting the people who want lobster. Are they supposed to waste time and money marketing to the standoffish people who will buy the cheeseburger to save a nickel no matter what?

The bottom line is that so far the choice of lobster has been chosen more than all the other menu options combined. The Atlantic seems to think lobster should have been chosen by everyone.

The only thing that matters is that in November when the choice is between the $8 lobster and the $2 trillion Arugula Caesar salad - the choice will be clear.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I wanted to watch the John Wayne classic The Quiet Man for Saint Patrick's Day but surprisingly Netflix doesn't have it. So I watched Green Lantern instead... How a particle accelerator works explained with donuts and Kit-Kats... Who knew? According to Mental Floss - "Temple was founded in 1884 as a night school and its students were called 'night owls' - thus the Owl nickname"... Good Las Vegas bet - man bets $120 on Norfolk State money line at 45-1 and wins $5,520... What is the potential upside to the Yankees signing the soon to be 40-year old Andy Pettitte? Well consider that when Jamie Moyer was 40-years old he went 21-7 with a 3.27 ERA for the Mariners... Bad Las Vegas bet - man bets $2,800 on Duke trying to win $280. Say goodbye to the $2,800... I was in three NCAA pools giving me 6 teams. All 6 teams were out by the time it struck midnight on Saint Patrick's Day... Because stretching is important...

Coach Bobby Knight

A couple of friends were in New York City a couple of years ago and one happened to see Coach Bobby Knight walking on the other side of the busy street. The one friend says, "Hey that's Bobby Knight." "Hey - you're right", says the second friend who then starts yelling out, "Coach Knight! Coach Knight!" The yelling gets Bobby Knight's attention and he looks over at my buddies. The second buddy sees Bobby Knight looking at him so he yells out, "Coach Knight (pause) FUCK YOU!" And my friend then gives him the finger double barreled.

Bobby Knight scowls, turns and stomps off. My buddies burst out laughing.

And I laugh every time I think of the story. Bobby Knight is a prick.

The Waterboys - Fisherman's Blues

One of more under-rated Irish bands playing one of their best songs.

The Pogues - If I Should Fall From Grace With God

It's not Saint Patrick's Day without The Pogues.

Saint Patrick's Day

Some facts you may not have known about St. Patrick:

St. Patrick was not Irish. He was a British Celt, first enslaved in Ireland as a teen. He was later a missionary to Ireland after converting to Christianity. He was not an Italian but was a Roman citizen. So technically the most Irish of holidays is named after an English guy (oh the irony).

St. Patrick was also not necessarily the first Christian missionary to Ireland.

No one knows the day Patrick was born or the day that he died. March 17th is traditionally considered to be one of the two but there is no documentation to support this.

The only documents about Patrick are his Confession and a letter he wrote to some guy named Coroticus.

There were never any snakes or other reptiles in Ireland for Patrick to chase out. That's a myth.

Patrick predates the Roman Catholic Church, and was considered a "saint" (or holy man) before the Roman church created its canon (list) of saints. They then added him to it.

Please God

Dear God - I don't ask for much and I don't ask often but there is something I really want.

Right now the Denver Broncos are doing the Old Testament equivalent of coveting their neighbor's wife. They really, really want to sign Peyton "Jezebel" Manning who has been flirting with any team with money like a shameless hussy.

What I want is simple. Right now Brady Quinn is visiting the Kansas City Chiefs. Thy will be done and have him sign there. I would also like the Broncos to lose out on Peyton Manning - have him sign with the 49ers or Titans instead. So far - nothing special in the request but here's the bit that might take some doing. Please talk to your servant Timothy Tebow and convince him to take a year off from the NFL to do missionary work in the Phillipines.

I admit that the only thing I'd get out of this arrangement is a very good laugh but I'd love it if John Elway and the rest of the Broncos management had to go hat in hand to the other side of the world to beg Tim Tebow to come back to the team to be their starting QB. After publicly shunning him for Manning how great would that be? I mean - I would just love that.

Please God. I don't ask much and I don't ask often.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

For many casual basketball fans Jim Calhoun of UConn and Jim Boeheim of Syracuse are the same person. It is this confusion that forced the Big East to contractually make Boeheim wear glasses so people could tell them apart. This was the main reason Syracuse is leaving Big East... Tim Burton's Dark Shadows looks pretty cool... I am saddened to learn that O'Sheas on the Vegas strip will be closing in April. A visit to O'Sheas to watch the midget pour drinks into people's mouths while blaring his whistle was always a highlight of any Vegas trip... HBO cancels Luck but Broadway doesn't cancel Spiderman? Just saying... When is an iPod worth $8 billion? Rob Reid does the comedic Copyright Math... I get the feeling that if a Make-a-Wish kid wanted @JayBilas to follow him on Twitter as his dying wish that Bilas would say "F you kid".

Where the Wild Things Are (as read by Christopher Walken)

Awesome. Walken doesn't just read it - he deconstructs it!

The Man Who Broke Atlantic City

Very interesting article on Don Johnson (the man who beat the Atlantic City casinos for millions - not the Miami Vice actor).

Johnson beat the Tropicana for almost $6 million, the Bogata for almost $5 million and Caesars  for almost $4 million by playing perfect strategy blackjack. But that's only half the story. As the story says - as good as Johnson is at playing the cards he is just as good playing the casinos.

As I said - the article is well worth the time.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Springtime humor

Major US Airport To Evict TSA Screeners. Good for Orlando! I hope other airports follow suit.

Holy crap - the double barrel pistol. America is slipping - this bad boy is made in Italy

Jamie Moyer really may pull this thing off. How can you not root for Jamie Moyer?

 Awesome old video of Sean Casey "interviewing" David Ortiz about his favorite movies

The Vampire squid (Vampyroteuthis infernalis, lit. "vampire squid from Hell") is a fascinating creature

Wow, volcano and aurora porn together. These photos are incredible! 

Three is a Magic Number - Blind Melon

Just a little nostalgic for some Schoolhouse Rock today.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Why cats, otters, hyenas, sea lions, and dolphins can't taste sweet 

The best coaches ATS in the NCAA tourney's first round. Michigan's John Beilein and Kansas State's Frank Martin are a combined 8-0 

The worst coaches ATS in the NCAA tourney's first round 

Awesome photo of space shuttle 

President Obama could use a lesson in humility 

What else would she drive? 

NCAA Geography Quiz: Where Is That Tournament-Bound School? I did awful on this quiz.

Why Science Needs to Prove Ghosts Don't Exist

If the existence of ghosts were somehow proven scientifically and it was shown that ghosts can effect things in the material world then logically ghosts could also effect the outcome of scientific experiments. That means if ghosts are real then a ghost in a laboratory could invalidate the results of any experiment. If you couldn't trust the results of an experiment then that could very well be the end of the scientific method. The end of the scientific method would mean the end of science as we know it.

Now you know why scientists so want you to believe there are no such things as ghosts.

Agatha Christie

Over the weekend I read Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None. It was a fun read. Knowing the resolution of the mystery - I probably wouldn't read it a second time though. What was also fun was checking IMDB and seeing how many times the 1940 book was made into a movie (keep in mind that the book was also known under the title Ten Little Indians).

- And Then There Were None (1945)
- Ten Little N*ggers (1949) Oh those whacky British
- Ten Little Indians (1959)
- Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians (1965)
- Ten Little Indians (1974)
- Ten Little Maidens (1985) Oh oh - Agatha Christie porn with Ginger Lynn and Nina Hartley
- Ten Little Indians (1989) With Frank Stallone!

So seven movies based on an OK mystery (plus a video game). That's more attention than one of Shakespeare's lesser works. I'm glad I stumbled onto the book. I wasn't aware it was of such staggering cultural importance.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

I understand that it was Woody Johnson's granddaughter who was really behind the Jets extending the contract of Mark Sanchez. She thinks he's really cute. There is also a clause in the extension that he has to take her to the prom... Probably going to hell for this - the Passive Aggression of the Christ... I will never even consider buying Geico insurance until they get rid of that stupid cavemen... Strange - I don't think the local ponds ever really froze over enough for ice skating this winter. Maybe a few of the smaller ones for a week at most. Can't ever remember a winter like that... It should be noted that Keith Olbermann really stopped being taken seriously by anyone right after Ben Affleck did his spot on impression of him on SNL. Olbermann has pretty much been a joke since... I know that Ron Paul supporters wouldn't necessarily vote for Mitt Romney even if Ron Paul told them to do so but that doesn't hold true for Ron Paul's delegates. Going into yesterday's voting Romney had 404 delegates while all other had just 337. If you added Ron Paul's total to Romney's - you'd have a truly commanding lead. This should not be forgotten. Ron Paul is Romney's insurance in case Newt or Santorum does drop out of the race.

Douglas Adams

This was a very interesting (and funny) talk given by Douglas Adams the author of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

It is made even more poignant by the fact that Douglas Adams died of a heart attack shortly after this talk was filmed. It is worth noting today because today would have been Douglas Adams' 60th birthday.

Top 5: Game Change

I watched the HBO original series Game Change last night and for what it's worth - here's my Top 5 impressions:

1. Sarah Palin (as portrayed) did come off as ignorant when it came to international politics and history. But as bad as the semi-fictionalized account was she still wasn't Wolf Blitzer in real life on Jeopardy stupid.
2. John McCain came off as very Presidential. If the goal of the show was to make people think, "Thank God we didn't elect Palin" I think they failed because I think overall the show made people see John McCain as a good, decent man who in hindsight was better prepared to be President than Barack Obama.
3. Barack Obama was portrayed only with real clips of the real Obama. As I mentioned above - the overall impression the show gave was that Obama wasn't prepared to be President. The Republicans would be wise to make The Who's Don't Get Fooled Again their campaign anthem.
4. The show mentioned the impact of YouTube on the campaign. This election cycle that will work against Obama because John McCain's campaign ads still hold up very good against Obama (like this one that was Nostradamus like on gas prices) and Obama's own campaign promises and ads won't go down the memory hole.
5. I called it a semi-fictionalized account above because it is clear the writers took many liberties with the truth.

Hopscotch

One of the more under-rated comedies of Walter Matthau's career was  Hopscotch from 1980. In the movie Matthau plays an older CIA agent who decides to write his memoirs instead of retiring behind a desk. Excellent dialog which you have to pay attention to or you will miss some gems. For instance when Matthau tells Glenda Jackson's character that he's retiring because Myerson (Ned Beatty) has taken over his division - Jackson asks, "See you next Tuesday Myerson?" This was back in 1980! I'm guessing that little insult made it past the censors on a regular basis because it was coming from such an innocuous person in such an innocuous movie.

As a bonus you have a "young" Sam Waterston as Matthau's protege who has to first replace him then find and stop him.

Worth the time to rent or buy.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Awesome - Bob Ryan basketball savant and the 1972 NBA draft

The new Redskins media guide cover starring RGIII (well it should be) 

The greatest discovery in modern archaeological history 

Guy Beringer invented brunch. His inspiration: the hangover

The Lindgren Thread, Loans, and Advice for my Generation by Phil Galfond. I didn't realize that Eric Lindgren was such a deadbeat.

Good point

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

So AOL - the company that owns the Huffington Post - pulled its ads from the Rush Limbaugh Show over the comments he made regarding a female law student. Yet on almost any thread on the Huffington Post much worse things are said on a regular basis. Not defending Limbaugh here it's just that I hate hypocrisy... Barack Obama seems bent on alienating the Catholics (birth control and abortion) and Jews (support of Israel) who make up the bulk of the Democratic Party base and yet some people think his re-election is a foregone conclusion... 7 Fairy Tale Castles still standing in Europe... If the US does strike Syria - I hope they open the attack with 241 smart bombs. Payback for 10/23/83... If you bet $100 on every game Peyton Manning played for the Colts from 1998-2010 - including playoffs - you would have lost money. He's no Tom Brady... Interesting - The Censoring of Bill Hicks.

House of Cards

I happened to stumble upon the 1990 BBC series House of Cards on Netflix and after watching the first episode I was hooked. The show was smart, witty and had vastly under-rated Ian Richardson in the starring role. I was a fan of Richardson based upon his work in the also vastly under-rated The Fourth Protocol (so under-rated that IMDB only has the Spanish language movie poster).

Sir Nigel Irvine in The Fourth Protocol and Francis Urquhart in House of Cards were almost the same character. Powers behind the scenes. Guys who knew what was really going on. The big difference was Francis Urquhart became corrupted by his pursuit of power. In the first episode he would have been happy to have been given a cabinet position. By the end - he wanted it all and was willing to justify any means (and I do mean any) to accomplish his goals. Sir Nigel Irvine was content in just helping to avoid nuclear holocaust.

I also have to admit that I am fascinated by the British Parliamentary system. Their politics are just very cool to observe makes watching our C-SPAN like - well like watching C-SPAN.

What is funny is that Netflix is producing a re-make of the series starring Kevin Spacey and to be directed by David Fincher. It will be an Americanized version based in DC not London. I'll probably tune into that but if you haven't watched the original - do yourself a favor and download it.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Obama Team leaks that VP Biden will officially begin campaign role next week. Mitt Romney finally gets some good news.

Victor Davis Hanson on Obama's failed energy policies. The price of gas at the pump will be a big campaign issue and Obama can't do anything to fix his failed policies at this point.

Where the "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster came from

Heh heh - this cartoon explains it perfectly

Very cool story of a lobster boat captain who learned to read at 91 and published a book at 98

40 years of Las Vegas urban sprawl as seen from space

The very definition of tragic - Green Beret dies trying to save daughters in house fire

Red Sox Medical Care

Jon Heyman speculates that Carl Crawford's injury may have been mishandled by the Red Sox medical staff. Well duh!

Carl Crawford, Dustin Pedroia, Clay Buchholtz, Jacoby Ellsbury, etc., etc., etc. How many players have to join this list before people see there's an issue?

I've made this point before.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

‘Family Guy’s’ MacFarlane Puts Ideology Aside to Toast Andrew Breitbart

Interesting - the speech jammer gun - like having a cell phone conversation with someone in same room. I could see how this simple device could silence someone.

As far as I'm concerned - this Mitt Romney story can't be told enough times

Interesting look at Sham Das - the arbitrator in the Ryan Braun ruling

Was there a Bounty on Jim McMahon?

The whole bounty issue in the NFL has me wondering if Charles Martin of the Packers was paid a bounty for knocking Jim McMahon out of the game in 1986. This hit basically ruined Jim McMahon's career as he was never the same again. Notice the high-fives Martin is getting on the sidelines. Somebody should ask Martin about this. I'm guessing that enough time has passed that he'd tell the truth.

Reagan vs the Hollywood Commies

Very interesting look back at Ronald Reagan's early days as a union leader and how he fought the communists in Hollywood.

This was before my time but growing up I never really understood the mythology surrounding the so-called member of the Hollywood blacklist. The way I understood it the blacklisted members weren't denying they were communists or went to a few meetings. At some point they thought communism was a good idea - such a good idea they they couldn't bring themselves to publicly condemn it. Yet they still wanted their work bought in a capitalist manner for very good prices. I could never understand if these were smart people with no common sense or just plain willfully ignorant.

Oh I know that someone will chirp that I'm the one who is ignorant and that I don't know my history regarding this episode of Hollywood lore. And maybe they would be right. I do now that the article I linked to is worth the read and I know that Ronald Reagan started out as a very liberal union leader but first hand dealings with communists turned him into what would become the biggest Conservative icon of the 20th century.

I guess we should thank those Hollywood communists for that.

Gas Prices

Credit where credit was due. John McCain was right about gas prices and Barack Obama.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Was Vladimir Putin able to steal the Russian election because Jimmy Carter wasn't there to monitor the election? Yeah - that was a joke... Every spring I wonder if New York City icon was alive today - would he be a Mets fan or a Yankees fan? I'm guessing Yankees... Brent Musberger is always rumored to have money on a game and Saturday night's KU / Texas game may have been the ultimate proof... Too Big to Fail would be a good title for an Andre the Giant biography... I think in the end that Kevin Garnett will be remembered as a better player than Patrick Ewing for the simple fact that Garnett won a ring... Heh heh - the Red Sox JetBlue Park was supposed to be exactly like Fenway but someone made the Green Monster South too short... During his first full four seasons with the Indians - Grady Sizemore averaged almost 160 games and almost 27 home runs. Oh what could have been.

Perspective

Here's the kicker.

 (From Mental Floss's 10 Great Masters of Tilt Shift Photography)

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

If you pay taxes - then the re-election of Barack Obama should scare you

Greatest Herman Cain Ad EVER? Is Stephen Colbert scripting these things? Doctor Suess? The American Coalition of LSD Providers?

NYT has a new Tumblr of photos from its archives. I love stuff like this.

Interesting podcast by Chad Millman with guest Dave Malinsky talking Calvin Ayre "Bodog" indictment

A pretty girl and a hula-hoop - happy Friday!

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Not being critical of Jason Varitek but after watching his retirement announcement I am saying that I doubt if a career in broadcasting awaits him... If the average American guy spent as much time taking online lessons at Khan Academy as they do watching porn online - the country would be peopled with the equivalent of millions of Ph D level men... I am disappointed that AJ Burnett's fractured orbital bone was caused by a failed bunt attempt and not someone smushing a pie in his face... Interesting article on George Clooney. Read it if just for a great Harry Hamlin anecdote... Am I the only one who sometimes confused Carl Sagan and Paul Tsongas? They did sort of look alike... I always considered Johnny Damon to be a clean player. I wonder what he thinks about Ryan Braun getting his 50-game suspension rescinded while Damon is unable to find any work?... If I was a Division 1 college AD with a struggling baseball program - I'd think about making Jason Varitek an offer to be new head baseball coach.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

The ad in Variety seeking 4 folk musicians to audition for what would become The Monkees

What the Original $1 Bill Looked Like

Awesome - the Martin Luther insult generator

Eric Holder and Fast and Furious will be an albatross around Obama's neck - story isn't going away

Saint Cornelius of Ireland

Though not widely remembered today - at one point Saint Cornelius of Ireland (not to be confused with Saint Cornelius of Antioch) was second in popularity in the Emerald Isle only to Saint Patrick. 

Saint Patrick is remembered for driving the snakes out of Ireland. Saint Cornelius was said to have driven the squirrels out of Ireland. This "miracle" of Saint Cornelius later proved to be his undoing. During the Great Potato Famine starving Irishmen and women wished they had tasty squirrel meat to eat and they cursed Saint Cornelius for driving out the furry rodents. In response to this outrage - Pope Pius IX removed Cornelius from the roll of official Catholic Saints.

Exclusive Video of What Happened to Ryan Braun's Urine Test!

Michigan Results in a Nutshell

Last night Ann Romney at the end of a long list thanked Kid Rock for helping her husband win the Michigan Primary. And last night Rick Santorum failed to thank Michael Moore even though Santorum's plea for Democrats to cross over and vote for him was a cause that the fat film-maker took up con mucho gusto.

Some people have speculated that the cross-over - voting as a joke - support was equal to about 6% of Santorum's overall total in Michigan. That 6% may get him a couple of delegates but it will in hindsight be the final nail in the coffin of his campaign. I hope the Romney campaign doesn't miss the opportunity to cudgel Santorum over the head with this issue. Stress things like "Santorum claims to be the real conservative in the race but then he looks for support from people like Michael Moore. Who does he think he is? Arlen Spector?"

Politics ain't beanbag.

How Jason Varitek Came to Town

Alex Speier has an excellent look back at the trade that brought Jason Varitek and Derek Lowe to Boston. Great insight into how that trade came to be. I found it most interesting that the deal ended up being a compromise - the Red Sox actually wanted pitcher Ken Cloude for Heathcliff Slocumb but "settled" for Varitek and Lowe.

Whenever this great robbery of a trade is brought up by a Red Sox fan - I always like to remind people that Boston also traded Jamie Moyer to Seattle for Darren Bragg. Moyer went on to win 133 games over the next 10 seasons for the Mariners.

While we are looking back at the career of Varitek - here is something I wrote the day after he smushed his mitt in A-Rod's face.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Conspiracy theory - this year's Daytona 500 was a result of EA Sports combining the classic game Spyhunter with a new NASCAR game... "I don't like violence Mr. Selig. I'm a businessman and urine is a big expense." Dialog from the new movie The Braunfather... My favorite bit of Oscars trivia is the fact that the Oscar Jimmy Stewart won for The Philadelphia Story was displayed in the window of his dad's hardware store in Pennsylvania... I'm still a little fuzzy about the science behind Hot Tub Time Machine... Did you know that during Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hit streak - he hit .408 while during that same stretch of games Ted Williams hit .414? Isn't that a great stat?... In modern money - the ransoms paid to free King Richard the Lionheart would be worth a little over $2 billion in today's dollars (34 tons of gold)... Who knew? The first basketball game ever on TV was Fordham vs Pittsburgh on this day in 1940. The game was played at Madison Square Garden... Speaking of college basketball - happy 81st birthday to basketball coaching legend Dean Smith...

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Jeff Passan takes a very critical look at Ryan Braun - tough to argue against what he wrote. The one exception is I don't think he takes the leak of what was supposed to be private testing seriously enough.

Story of Mitt Romney saving some strangers. Well known in Massachusetts but it is strange story hasn't gotten more play nationally. Maybe campaign was waiting until NJ primary?

5 Biggest Whoppers In Obama's Energy Speech

Interesting insight into some great TV history - Being Fred Mertz: The Life of William Frawley

In 1988 there was a live-action musical version of Puss in Boots starring Christopher Walken as Puss. One of the most awesome things on the Internet EVER! 

Government Motors

Mickey Kaus makes some good points. "GM's stock is in the basement for a reason" would make a good political bumper sticker or debate point. And just as a reminder what the GM bailout entailed - and how they really haven't paid the taxpayers back - here's a good minute and a half primer from Reason TV.

I'll make a prediction right here - during a Presidential Debate President Obama will say or claim something that will cause the stock of GM to sharply decline even further. Something like the government will be selling (dumping) its share in GM by the end of the year or something like that.

Ryan Zimmerman's New Contract

Ryan Zimmerman has signed a new extension with the Washington Nationals so he will be under contract for $126 million up to 2019 or with the option $150 million up to 2020. Jon Heyman thinks the Nationals paid too much for a 1-time All-Star. Tom Verducci recently compared Zimmerman to Chase Headley - a comparison that was not meant to be flattering.

I wonder why the Nationals had to do a contract now (Zimmerman was under contract till after the 2013 season) but I'm not so sure if they over paid. If they get the next Eric Chavez with an injury prone career then Verducci and Heyman get to crow. But what if Ryan Zimmerman plays like Scott Rolen in his age 26-35 seasons where Rolen averaged 126 games and 19 HR. Would that be acceptable for the "face" of the franchise who would be making an average of $16.7 million for those 9 seasons? For the last 6-seasons Zimmerman has averaged a 137.5 games and a little over 21 HR per season so it would seem a Rolen comparison would be reasonable. Did the Phillies make a mistake in not wrapping up Scott Rolen when he was the same age as Zimmerman? During that span Rolen made 6 All-Star games and won 5 Gold Gloves.

The thing I keep thinking of is the fact that Jacoby Ellsbury was taken in the same draft and same round as Ryan Zimmermanand is basically the same age (Ellsbury is slightly older). If the Red Sox were to wrap him up for the next 9 seasons at an average of $16.7 million then I would think the Red Sox made a good deal. I wonder if Jon Heyman would argue then that the Red Sox were over-paying for a 1-time All-Star?

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Gary Sinise - An American Hero. If you support one of his charities great. If not you can indirectly support him by watching CSI New York or writing an email to CBS telling them how much you like Gary Sinise and his show CSI New York

Buck Showalter Signing Autographs For Three Amish Guys

Now that Tony La Russa is gone from Cardinals' camp, Ozzie Smith is back

"My Faith: What I learned from my 46-day beer-only fast" Many guys will read this and seriously think about a beer-only fast. But keep in mind that he was drinking just 5 beers max a day. Now if those 5 beers were 40 ounce then maybe we could talk

Cool - how a fly mimics a spider

WTF? The Badgermin

Jimmy Fallon sings Pearl Jams "Jeremy' (Lin)

Images of literary characters made from police sketch software

The penthouse where NASCAR was founded in 1947 is now a gay bar 

Johnny Cash

"Locusts and honey... not since John the Baptist has there been a voice like that crying in the wilderness... Every man knows he is a sissy compared to Johnny Cash." - Bono from U2

Today would have been Johnny Cash's 80th birthday. In his honor here's a few links to all-things Johnny Cash.

Alabama 3 singing their very underrated Hello I'm Johnny Cash

Norah Jones plays Johnny Cash at the Webbys

The story of A Boy Named Sue which was written by Shel Sliverstein (not some random convict)

One of the most iconic photos in Rock and Roll history

The Johnny Cash Project - the video used at Norah Jones performance at the Webbys but with Johnny Cash singing Ain't No Grave

And of course - what I consider the greatest cover song ever - Johnny Cash's version of Hurt.

George Harrison

Today would have been George Harrison's 69th birthday. This seemed like a worthy tribute.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

If they made this Ryan Braun saga into a movie - would Harrison Ford be too old to play Bud Selig?... 25 Photos of Mitt Romney looking perfectly normal. Call me a sap but I think these are cool... Just saying but if I was to go to the trouble to tamper with Ryan Braun's urine sample - I probably would have leaked the positive test results to ESPN too. It would be amusing if someone went to a lot of trouble to frame Ryan Braun but some Mr. Bean courier and his son screwed things up by being incompetent... Walter Arlington Latham (the Freshest Man on Earth) - they really did have much better nicknames back in the old days... I still think that if a player in any sport fails a drug test - the team should lose that roster spot for the entire length of the suspension. For example - if Braun was suspended for 50 games then the Brewers would lose a spot on their 25-man roster until Braun came back. I think that would end much of the cheating if the team had to share in the punishment... No conspiracy - Ron Paul and his people just don't like Rick Santorum... Ryan Braun may have a suit against MLB under HIPAA Privacy laws. The leaking of personal health information and the resultant damage that caused I'm guessing is very actionable. I wouldn't doubt if that is the potential legal action Braun was referring to yesterday... Flying owl filmed at 1000 frames per second - very cool... Nick Punto is the second player to wear number 5 since Nomar Garciaparra left town and both players wore the number in homage to Nomar (who they first checked with to make sure it was OK). Since Wade Boggs left town - 11 players have worn number 26 and none of them were honoring Boggs. Think of that the next time some uninformed sportswriter writes about retiring Boggs' number. The Red Sox aren't interested and neither are the fans... Kenny Fucking Powers!...

Ryan Braun

Here are some of my thoughts on the Ryan Braun saga.

First off - we are not talking about a crime here so let's stop with the talk about due process. Ken Rosenthal had a very good take on the subject but his one flaw was thinking this was a matter of due process. It was a case of contractual process and arbitration. If Braun was "guilty" he wasn't going to jail.

The Collective Bargaining Agreement calls for certain processes to be in place and those processes were violated by agents in the employ of MLB. If the lack of adherence had come on the part of the player - say if the player did not provide the urine sample in the presence of a MLB tester - then the sample would have been ruled invalid and rightly so. That is not to assume that the player would have tried to use a Whizzinator if the tester wasn't watching but that same adherence to the agreed upon rules has to apply on the flip side of the coin. Who's to say the courier who failed in his duties doesn't have a Matt Kemp shrine in his apartment and access to synthetic testosterone?

It has been said that the arbitrator was also influenced that Braun's sample was rumored to have three-times the testosterone of the next highest sample ever recorded. Unprecedented levels of testosterone coupled with an unprecedented breaking of the testing process guidelines really left the arbitrator with no choice but to rule the way he did.

In unrelated news - the Milwaukee Brewers announced today that Rocky Mountain Oysters will no longer be served in the Brewers clubhouse. Ryan Braun was the only player eating them anyways.

Let me just say that MLB looks bad in this episode. They responded by saying they "vehemently disagreed" with the arbitrator's decision. They "vehemently disagree"? Is that how it works? MLB disagrees. Overruled. No, no, no - we VEHEMENTLY disagree! Oh, well if you vehemently disagree then the arbitrator should take some time to reconsider - NOT! (Someone at ESPN should definitely get Kevin Pollack to read MLB's statement.)

According to a Tweet from Ken Rosenthal - the 2-1 vote was the result of Union chief Michael Weiner and independent arbitrator Shyam Das siding with Braun while Rob Manfred of MLB voting against Braun. Is it just me or does this seem like a strange arrangement that would always result in any case starting off at 1-1? Why bother having the Union and MLB voters in the first place? Just have the arbitrator. Saying it was a 2-1 vote instead of an arbitrator's decision just makes it worse in my opinion.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

FX renews "Archer." Hooray!

Is Andruw Jones a Hall of Famer? I'm on the fence

What was Ryan Braun guilty of? He was guilty of this!

Is the girl in the background Mr. Bean's daughter? 

Tom Izzo is an amazing 23-1-1 against the spread in 2nd half lines this season 

Pat Forde with a very interesting look at Larry Eustachy's rise from the ashes of alcoholism

The Theory of (almost) Everything!

Wilt Chamberlain, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Andre the Giant on the set of Conan. Awesome!

Tusk

I have a soft spot for this Fleetwood Mac song. I also think the video gives you a good idea of why Mick Fleetwood was the model for Animal from The Muppet's Show.

Homer at the Bat - the Parody

This past week The Simpsons aired its 500th episode. This sparked many Simpsons conversations and Deadspin actually did a very good look back at one of the most famous Simpsons episodes - Homer at the Bat. Seven years ago I did a parody of that very episode. I think it stands up pretty well against the test of time so - I'm posting it again today.


The Curse of the Simpsons

Hello, my name is Bob Ley and welcome to Outside the Lines. Tonight we look at what is being called “the Curse of the Simpsons.”

On February 20, 1992 the Simpsons’ episode “Homer at the Bat” aired and featured some of baseball’s brightest stars but the question now comes up – what did these stars have to do in order to be on the show and what price did they pay for that momentary bit of extra fame?

According to the Official Simpsons Website the episode’s plot was the following:

Mr. Burns makes a million dollar bet with his arch-rival Aristotle Amadopolis that the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant team will beat the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant team in the softball championships. To ensure victory, Burns hires a number of ringers, including pro baseball players Darryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey, Jr., Steve Sax, Roger Clemens, Jose Canseco, Don Mattingly, Ozzie Smith, Wade Boggs and Mike Scioscia to replace the plant employees he cut from the team. But as game day approaches, the pros all succumb to various strange ailments and accidents that prevent them from playing and it's up to Homer and his teammates to beat the Shelbyville team. With bases loaded and the score tied in the ninth inning, Homer is sent to bat and wins the game when the pitch hits him in the head and accidentally scores a homer."

Most of the stars were at the top of their game before agreeing to appear on the show but after the show most started hitting the skids. Coincidence – Outside the Lines thinks not.

In studio we have one of the stars of the show – Homer Simpson. Homer, welcome to Outside the Lines. You get many big name stars on the show – is there any special arrangement to get these stars? What about the baseball players featured in “Homer at the Bat”?

Homer: To answer your question Kent – normally guest stars work for scale to be on our show because it is such a status symbol to be on the Simpsons. However, in this case the boss wanted something extra.

Who is your boss? What was the something extra required of the baseball players?

Homer: Well I report directly to Satan or as we like to call him – Ned. In order to be on the show the baseball players had to sign over their souls. You know standard stuff.

Wait a second are you saying that Ned Flanders is Satan and that the baseball players had to sign over their souls to be on the show?

Homer: Yep. You deaf or something? All the players really wanted to be on the show and Ned made them pay.

Darryl Strawberry?

Homer: Hmmmmmm strawberries……….Oops – sorry. I felt bad about Straw. He was such a good kid before he came on the show. I’m afraid we introduced him to a little too much of the Hollywood lifestyle. You know constant drugs and hookers. I guess it made quite the impression on him.

Ken Griffey Jr.?

Homer: Yep. Satan is still screwing with him. I guess Griffey has become sort of a hobby for Ned.

Steve Sax?

Homer: Oh boy! That was a good one. You know the throws to first were my idea.

Jose Canseco?

Homer: Do you even have to ask on that one? The guy slept with Madonna. I guess he figured he was doomed anyway.

Don Mattingly?

Homer: You know Don started off as a really nice guy but working for so long with Steinbrenner just sorta wore him down. I still remember watching Mattingly’s last game on the set of the Simpsons. Ned comes over - sees Don on the TV and says, “Next year the Yankees win the World Series" and then he starts with that laugh of his.

Mike Scioscia?

Homer: Well Mike was sorta of a charity case. He sold his soul to get into the major leagues.

Wade Boggs? You can't say Wade Boggs sold his soul - I mean he was just elected to the Hall of Fame.

Homer: Actually Wade Boggs was the only one that wasn’t asked to sign away his soul. If you remember - in the show Wade gets beat up by Barney Gumble. Ned had Wade Boggs on as a favor to all the cast. We all wanted to beat him up but Barney won the lottery.

Wait a minute Homer. What about Ozzie Smith? I grant you all the other stars did seem to rapidly dim after being on the show but Ozzie was also voted into the Hall of Fame. You can’t ask us to believe that Ozzie sold his soul.

Homer: Well - you know how we all thought it kinda funny to portray Ned as the devil knowing full well that he really was the devil. Who knew that Ozzie really was a Wizard? The Wizard of Oz! We all thought it was just something people called him. That summersault he does before all his games is really a kind of counter curse you know.

Roger Clemens has over 300 wins and has won multiple Cy Young Awards. Surely he didn’t sign his soul away.

Homer: Roger was the first to sign. That guy is as dumb as a post. The funny thing is that by signing with Toronto – Clemens proved that he didn’t have a soul so the deal was null and void.

Please hold on just a second. I understand from our producers that joining us via a telephone hook-up is Ned Flanders. Mr. Flanders on this show tonight Homer Simpson has alleged that you are in fact the devil and that in 1992 you required a number of all-star baseball players to sign away their souls in order to be on the show the Simpsons. Can you comment on this?

Ned Flanders (aka Satan): Okily dokily Bob-arino. All that Homer said is as right as rain. Baseball players are some of my best customers next to SportsCenter anchors of course but you know I wasn’t going to take their souls until my boss insisted.

Your boss? Who would that be?

Ned Flanders (aka Satan): James L. Brooks of course.

Well that makes sense. I’m Bob Ley and this has been Outside the Lines. Please join us tomorrow night when our topic will be “Are we ready for an openly gay football mascot?”

Old School Spring Training

One of my favorite articles about spring training was written nine years ago by Mike Shropshire of Slate.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

If you had bet $100 on the first game of the first game in the Detroit Red Wings 23-game winning streak and let it ride for every game - that $100 would be up to over $3.9 million today...  Damn it! I started watching Downton Abbey and now I can't stop!!.... If anyone ever asked me if they could pay me in gum - I think I would punch them in the face... The Detroit Tigers are such huge favorites to win the AL Central (-$1800) that if you placed $100 on the other 4 teams in the division you would be guaranteed to win at least $1400 if the Tigers failed to win... How the greatest prankster in political history messed with Richard Nixon... Two things that I am giving up are playing solitaire on my computer and playing Keno when out at a bar. They are both wastes - one of time and one of money... The over / under for wins for the Red Sox is set at 87.5 games. I really like the over. Last year they got off to an awful start and completely collapsed in September and still managed to win 90 games... Happy 66th birthday to Boston Globe great Bob Ryan who announced his his retirement recently.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Gingrich Papers, Speeches Show Frequent Criticism of Reagan. It is also amusing that some of Reagan's positions today would be considered Liberal and Newt was to the left on some of those positions.

BetOnline is the first offshore to release MLB over/under win totals. I really like the Red Sox over of 87.5. Last year they completely collapsed in September and still had 90 wins.

I love this T-shirt 

Heh Heh - How to Write a Novel by Neil Gaiman

The Bell Centre in Montreal puts an image of Gary Carter's baseball card on the ice

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

There was a heavyweight title fight last night. Did anyone notice?... The fact that Mike Cameron has more career Wins Above Replacement (WAR) that Kirby Puckett shows how flawed any stat can be. How many people who saw both players in real life would have pegged Cameron as the better player? Zero maybe? Yet you can make that argument using WAR. Lies, damned lies and statistics... I wonder if Harvard is selling Jeremy Lin jerseys in their bookstore. I would think that would be a big seller...  As a Red Sox fan - I would laugh my ass off if AJ Burnett flunked the physical for the Pirates and had to return to the Yankees. Please God make it so... The highest unemployment rate under President George W. Bush was 7.7% and he was crucified for it. The unemployment rate under President Obama has been over 8% basically his whole time in office. When does President Obama get held responsible for that?... FWIW - Casey Blake has a career batting average of .311 and an OPS of .999 in 103 plate appearances at Coors Field. He could be a sleeper at 3rd base if you play fantasy baseball... On this day in 1980 - Bon Scott the lead singer for AC/DC passed away. He was 34. His death remains one of the great "what might have been" moments in rock history.

Mr. Jones - Counting Crows

I love this song. I even once tried to do this song at a karaoke night. It was then that I realized that this song really has a lot of words and that I really can't sing.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Gordon Edes pointed out in a Tweet that Tim Wakefield did not mention either Theo Epstein or Terry Francona in his retirement speech. Supposedly Wakefield was not a real big fan of Francona because Tito pulled Wakefield from the rotation. I wouldn't be surprised if Wakefield doesn't blame Francona for not breaking the Red Sox record for wins... Watched Cedar Rapids last night. I thought it was a great movie. Then again - after watching Crocodile Dundee for the first time I was convinced it was the best movie ever made... 11 Brilliant Lifehacks. Some very cool ideas here... I knew that Shaefer is the one beer to have when you are having more than one but who knew that Shaefer was the top selling beer in Puerto Rico during the 70's and 80's?... For some perspective on Curt Schilling's overall career consider that Roy Halladay would have to have about 200 strikeouts a year for the next 6 seasons to match Schilling career strikeout mark... Keith Olbermann seems to be like one of those old world gods who ceased to exist if you stopped worshiping them... Meet a black guy in Aspen. Improv Everywhere's latest prank. I thought it was pretty funny.

Tim Wakefield

Tim Wakefield retired yesterday. It was time.

Wakefield was a fan favorite not just for his longevity in the league and with the Red Sox but also because many looked at him and thought, "I could do that." He was our surrogate. If only we had learned the knuckleball at an early age we too could have had a major league career. He was living the dream for us. Unfortunately the past two seasons as he went a combined 11-19 with a 5.22 ERA - many fans derisively also thought to themselves, "I could do that." It was time to retire.

Real Red Sox fans won't let the last two seasons sully the memory of what Tim Wakefield meant to the team. Consider the fact that since Wakefield came to the Red Sox in 1995 - only 8 pitchers had more wins in the majors and the list reads like a who's who; Jamie Moyer, Mike Mussina, Andy Pettitte, Roy Halladay, Tom Glavine, Pedro Martinez, Randy Johnson and Greg Maddux. With Wakefield retiring - Roy Halladay becomes the active MLB leader in wins with 188.

I hope the Red Sox do the right thing and have Tim Wakefield throw out the first pitch on Opening Day.

Presidential Over-reach

Charles Krauthammer makes a very interesting point regarding President Obama's "compromise" on birth control and the Catholic Church.

The President of the United States has just ordered private companies to give away for free a service that his own health and human services secretary has repeatedly called a major financial burden.

On what authority? Where does it say that the President can unilaterally order a private company to provide an allegedly free-standing service at no cost to certain select beneficiaries?

Very interesting observation on the pivot from an attack on the free exercise of religion to an attack on free enterprise. If you own or run a business - the President has basically just said that he can make you give away one or more of your services or goods for free and (according to his administration) there is nothing you can do about it.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

How can the Red Sox give new closer Andrew Bailey number 40 for his uniform. That was Calvin Schiraldi's number. Very bad juju... Insane rope swing... The things you learn on the Internet - according to Mental Floss dropping two aspirin tablets into a dead car battery might actually revive it... One big problem with Roy Oswalt that many people seem to be overlooking is the fact that he's a Type A free agent. That means the team signing him will lose a 1st round draft pick. If he wasn't going to cost a draft pick he's probably have a 1-year $10 million contract by now... I really like Dick Vermeil. I just do... I am surprised that no team has signed starter Chris Young. Sure he's coming off an injury and is not 100% yet but he has great upside and easily could be a solid number 3 starter for 20 or so starts this season... I couldn't help but laugh at this. Silly - I know - but sometimes silly is good.

EDIT: Roy Oswalt was classified as a Type-A free agent but since he was not offered arbitration by the Phillies he would not cost a team signing him a draft pick.

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

One of my favorite Warren Zevon songs

Flotsam and Jetsam

I hope you are having a great Valentine's Day. On this day in 1884 - Teddy Roosevelt's mother and wife both passed away. As you can see from his entry in his diary - it was not a good day for Teddy... Jimmy Kimmel really doesn't seem to like Jay Leno... I love David Ortiz but there is NO WAY the Red Sox offer David Ortiz arbitration next season. If they knew they would be paying over $14 million then I doubt they would have offered arbitration this year either... Heh heh - nursery rhymes as read by Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin...  In a person's life a split second can often do as much damage as a split atom... Just saying - I have never seen the movie The Bodyguard and God willing - I never will... I really want one of these - the new Tesla Model X SUV with gull wings.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting and thought I'd share.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter - this looks like a very cool movie. What a great idea!

$300k for the Senate Barbershop? You could argue this is in microcosm the problem with government spending

Who is Paul McCartney? Perfect example on how Americans in general have no sense of history. Ringo Starr must be spinning in his grave. 

Anus Magillicutty - title of a real movie - perhaps the worst movie ever made but a great name for a fantasy baseball team

The 5-Hour Energy Guy

Very interesting profile of Manoj Bhargava - the man behind 5-Hour Energy.

"5-Hour Energy is not an energy drink, it's a focus drink," he says, turning one of the pomegranate-flavor bottles around in his hands. "But we can't say that. The FDA doesn't like the word 'focus'. I have no idea why."

I've never tried 5-Hour Energy but I could use some additional focus and energy on occasion so I'll probably be dropping $3 on a bottle or two.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Happy 78th birthday to the greatest winner in pro sports history - Mr. Bill Russell... I sooo want one of these... Todd Pletcher, one of and perhaps the greatest horse trainers in history got his 3,000th victory yesterday. His horses have made over $213 million and more than a few dollars for me and my friends. My buddy Paul makes any Pletcher and Johnny Velazquez horse an automatic bet... 11 Cool Thank You notes sent by famous people... Happy Georgia Day! On this day in 1733 James "Oggie" Oglethorpe founded Georgia - the last of the Original 13 Colonies... The Eastwood Chrysler ad gets the story exactly backwards. First you have growth then you get the jobs. You don't do jobs hoping the growth will follow... In an attempt to change the conversation about contraceptive services the Obama Administration orders all oral contraceptives to be bacon flavored so Muslims and Jews can be as outraged as the Catholics...  The strangest tattoo parlor ad you will ever see...

Neil Gaiman

I've long heard about Neil Gaiman but had never read any of his work. I knew he wrote the Sandman series of books and I knew people highly recommended him. Yet I never made an attempt to read anything by Neil Gaiman.

Two things changed that.

First - Gaiman wrote an episode of Doctor Who called The Doctor's Wife. I thought both the premise and dialog were very good even by Doctor Who standards (which means the bar was set high to begin with). After watching the episode and learning it was written by Gaiman - I made a mental note to read some of his other stuff.

Second - I was in a store called That's Entertainment that is known mostly for comic books and RPG accessories when I came across a copy of Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders. I bought it and read it and was impressed. From the Sherlock Holmes parallel world inspired A Study in Emerald to the very entertaining The Monarch of the Glen (which I think would make a very cool movie) - I found Gaiman's writing to be compelling, humorous and that his twisted sensibility fit in very well with my tastes (although I do admit that I just couldn't get through the short story Sunbird for whatever reason).

I will be adding American Gods: A Novel to my Amazon wish list. Maybe some day I will get to read one of Gaiman's works in Gaiman's library.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

To make it up to Catholics - the Obama Administration has announced that to even off requiring all healthcare providers to carry contraception services it has announced that as of today all medical plans have to cover stigmata - even if it is a pre-existing condition... Who knew? According to Mental Floss - Marie Curie's notebooks are still radioactive and researchers hoping to view them must sign a disclaimer... If I was a GOP consultant - I would create an ad showing a Catholic nun being forced to hand out condoms to 13-year old punks under threat of arrest because of the new health care laws... If you ever describe yourself as having moves like Jagger - there's something seriously wrong with you. Or you are horribly drunk... Just saying but last night I dreamt that Johnny Damon signed a 2-year incentive laden deal with the Oakland A's.